The Nearness Of You

3

Seungri

I took a glance at my bedside clock and found out it was already four a.m. in the morning, yet, I'm still wide awake. The intoxication from all the alcohol I consumed awhile ago is already gone. And even though I came home drunk I never managed to catch some sleep, which, should be easy. That girl's face still haunts me. Everytime I close my eyes I still see her. This is really disturbing.

I stood up from my bed and went towards the kitchen to have a glass of water. I feel so dehydrated and thirsty, thanks to those beers. I pulled a high chair at the kitchen counter and sat there for awhile as I start to contemplate. It's a wonder that all of a sudden, I felt like Brianne was totally out of my system. Seeing Jinnie was like breathing new air, breathing new life. It made me forget all the pain, the regrets, all the negative stuff that's been stressing me out for the past week. I feel reborn, feel like a new person. I was wrong when I thought nothing can fix me, that nothing can help me and make me forget except for those damn liquors. Until Jinnie came around, and I realized all this time it was her that I need. It was her that I've  always been waiting for. It was only her. The only problem is, she already has a boyfriend.

"Aish!" I violently scratched my head to the point I almost smacked myself. I suddenly felt mad. She's already committed to some good looking, well-mannered man with an angelic face. How am I supposed to beat that? Also, there's the fact that I'm not the type of guy who steal other guy's girlfriends. Oh for crying out loud! I still have the decency. But, I just couldn't forget her. Her eyes, her lips, her hair, her voice. Damn. She must've cast a spell on me. Well, it's sure as hell very much working.

An exasperated sigh escaped my lips. What shall I do? I've finally liked another girl, but I don't think this is going anywhere. It's like finding a chest full of treasures but you can't take it with you and have it for yourself. What I even feel towards her is forbidden. I should be ashamed of myself.

You can still be friends with her you know? My thoughts tells me. Yeah, right. That's possible. But being "friend zoned" isn't. It would only give me unbearable torture.

Well atleast you can be close to her. Again, my thoughts said to me. True, but I have to deal with seeing her boyfriend as well. What's worst is the thought of the three of us hanging out together. The picture of me being a third wheel, so not cool.

Then just freakin'  forget her!  Yeah, maybe I should. Only question is, how? She already made her way into my system. I couldn't shook her out of me. It ain't easy.

My eyelids went heavy all of a sudden, and before I could sleep sitting on that kitchen counter looking miserable I stood up and marched towards my room like a robot. I let my body fall on top of my bed taking a last glance at my bedside clock and saw that it was already 5:30 a.m. I still have three hours before going to work. I close my eyes and whispered her name before giving in to sleep. If there's a will, there's a way. Tomorrow I'll think of some better ideas on how I will get close to her. Because unfortunately, forgetting her is not an option.

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