The Nearness Of You

12

Jinnie

He's here..

My whole body tensed as I saw him, Seungri, sitting at one of the tables near the liquor bar along with his friends. The moment I laid foot inside this place I instantly saw him there, talking and laughing as he converse with a guy and a girl. He looks so vibrant it made me smile. I like to see him look that way. It was refreshing.

Afraid I might get sensed by Yesung who's walking alongside me, I decided I should take my attention away from Seungri. He wouldn't like it. I know it'll start another unwanted conversation and I don't want it to be a reason to affect my singing. It's the only thing I love to do and I want to put my heart on it everytime I'm doing it. But just as I was about to remove my gaze from Seungri, he then took sight of me. We locked eyes but I instantly looked away, pretended that I didn't see him and walk in a haste towards the dressing room. I didn't want to do that but I had to because Yesung will be guarding me the whole night. I shall do what I have to do because I already made a decision. And remembering that sends a sharp, stabbing pain in my chest.

"Hi, Jinnie!" Alyssa's voice shrilled in my ears making me snap back to reality. She gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I gave her the tiniest of smiles.

"You seem troubled and gloomy. Is there something wrong?" Alyssa looks at me worriedly. She really is a nice girl. I can read her thoughts and know that she's sincere in asking.

I shook my head and put up a bright smile. "No, there's nothing wrong. I'm fine, Alyssa. Thanks for asking." I answer her. "How about you? How have you been doing?" I ask her as I made my way to one of the dressers, put out my make up kit from my bag and started to apply some color on my face. Alyssa stood beside me and watch as I dab cosmetics on my face.

"Same old, same old." She answers me and went quiet for awhile. I can feel her staring at me as I do my thing and it made me look at her. Something's bothering her and I can hear her saying Yesung's name inside her head.

"Alyssa? Everything alright?" I ask her. She looks a bit weary when I turned to look at her and I became worried myself. She didn't respond and just stares at me. I can see it in her eyes that she wants to talk to me about something but she's holding back. I let go of the make up I'm holding and grabbed her hand. "C'mon honey what's wrong? You can tell me."

Alyssa's eyes went a bit glassy and turns away from looking at me. I saw her bit her lip and trying hard not to stifle a sob. I look at her closely and feel a sufficient amount of pain in her chest. I want to dig into her thoughts but I respect her privacy. She's nice to me and I don't want to pry on her. I can read minds but prying was never my business.

"Aly--"

"It's Yesung." She finally spoke and turns to me again. "I just feel ashamed of myself, Jinnie.."

I shook my head looking confused. "Now why would you say that?" I ask her gently.

"The last time I saw him I was a bit drunk and I couldn't help not to hit on him. I made a bold move and I told him things that I guess made him totally pissed off. I went too aggressive all of it slipped out of my stupid mouth. I never had the chance to control it." She croaked.

Oh, this poor girl.. I couldn't help not to feel pitiful. It was obvious she was rooting for Yesung but her feelings will be unfortunately unrequited. But I don't have the heart to tell it to her directly so instead, I tell her this.

"Yesung is a good guy, Alyssa. I'm sure he understands what happened the last time. He never gets mad. He's a patient guy I tell you." I smile at her. It's true though, Yesung's always been very patient to me eversince.

"I don't think I could face him ever again." Alyssa lowered down her gaze. "I'm so stupid."

"Aly, you're not stupid. You just like him. Just, forget about what happened. Don't think much of it. I think it's not a big deal to Yesung anyway. He never mentioned it to me you know? So, lighten up." I held her chin up and smile at her warmly.

Alyssa nods her head and let out a tiny smile. "Tell him I'm really sorry.."

"How about you tell him, hmm? He's part of the crowd. He's here."

Alyssa's eyes widened in panic. "H-He's here?" I saw her swallow hard. "Oh my God, Jinnie. I.. I c-can't.."

"It's fine. We'll talk to him together later. Alright?" I assured her.

"I don't know.." Alyssa looks anxious now. "I'm scared.. I don't even know if I could still sing."

"Alyssa, just calm down." I try to relax her, "You can't sing well tonight if you keep on thinking about it. And you are a great singer so don't let it be the reason to hinder such greatness. He'll be watching so I guess you have to perform well. Have him see that you're worth something." I grin at her.

"Well I guess you're right.."

"Mmm hmm.." I mumble. "Now let's fix that smudged eyeliner of yours and make ourselves look good shall we?" I winked at her and it made her laugh. She thanked me and hugged me tight.

We managed to keep ourselves busy by applying make up on our faces and after that put on our dresses. Mine was a white, long fitted dress that emphasized all of my curves. Alyssa's was a cyan tube dress that matches her blue eyes.

"Here, let me fix your hair." Alyssa grabs a comb and started to braid my hair. She loves to play with my hair and I must admit, she does it pretty good everytime.

"Hey Jinn?" She asks me as she busied herself with fixing my hair. Damien called for me a few minutes ago and I would soon be up on the stage. "I saw that Seungri guy again in the crowd awhile ago. He really seems so into you. Are you like, going out or something?"

I couldn't think of an answer so I just shrugged. "No we're not. I guess he just became one of the many patrons of this bar."

"Oh. But you know, I only see him if you'll be performing for the night." Alyssa tells me looking oblivious as she continuously fiddle with my hair.

I laugh. "Let's not assume, Alyssa." I tell her jokingly.

"There." She tells me looking pleased with what she had done with my hair. "You're really pretty, Jinnie. I wish you and that Seungri guy would go out and become a couple. I think he likes you and in my opinion you guys are like, a perfect match. He's handsome and you're beautiful. Plus, a good singer."

I stare at our reflections in the mirror. If only all of the things Alyssa said could be possible, I surely would've want for it to happen too. But I know that it's not. It can't be and it won't be. I just gave her a bitter smile as a response.

Seungri and I, we can never be..

A/N:

So... This would be my last update for now. I hope you guys are still reading. ;) Anyhoo, I would like you guys to check out some of these works.

"The Hidden Prince of Main Street" by @tamingthefox and "The Boy With The Blue Eyes" by @James_Moriarty

Both are awesome authors with amazing and interesting stories. :) So what're ya waiting for? Go check it out! ;)

--Katie <3