Flower Bouquet || h.s

2.3-mistakes

It's been four days. I haven't gone to school in four days. Every time I make the effort; get up, get changed, grab my backpack, I feel to nauseous to catch the bus and end up dry heaving on the bathroom floor or having a panic attack. I think I'm being foolish, completely irrational but since I still haven't told my parents about what's got in on, they think I'm acting just the perfect amount of insane.

I've reassured them several times that I'm not being bullied or harassed at school and that nothing extreme has happened to me like rape or an incriminating picture of myself being exposed and it was nothing mild like a test I didn't study for or the workload of school itself. I placed loosing my best friend above school but a bit lower than life altering situations.

The only person I've talked to about this whole situation has been Louis. He comes over everyday after school and my parents let him into my room and we lock the door. I've promised them every time he leaves and every time he comes over that nothing is going to happened behind closed doors. They trust me and respect Louis otherwise they wouldn't let him back into my room. Or maybe they see him as another Harry.

Louis usually talks to me about school, homework, classes and I try my hardest not to talk or ask about anything to do with Toni or Harry. He's noticed I've turned over all the photos of Harry and I in my room which is a substantial amount unfortunately.

But toady, Louis asked if I wanted to get Harry off my chest, do some ranting. At first, I went over things he did in high school but then I began remembering things from middle school and elementary school. Before I knew it, I was relaying to Louis nearly every little thing Harry did or does that pisses me off.

"And then when Harry and I were twelve he.." Louis held up his hand and I had enough sense to stop.

"Adelaide you need to calm down." I squeezed my eyes shut and breathed out slowly. Adelaide. Harry called me that when he was being serious. I didn't want to tell Louis to not call me that because it was my name I just.. I wanted to stop being reminded of him. "You're very upset and I understand why so maybe.. Maybe we should change the topic." Even though he brought up ranting about Harry, I nodded my head.

"You're right." I replied immediately, opening my eyes. "Please tell me about your day." Louis smiled warily and began to speak. He told me about what his soccer buddies were doing and how their girlfriends were. He told me about all the drama he had heard around school, though if Toni and Harry were the center of a rumor, he didn't share. He then asked what I did.

I always had the same poor pathetic answer. I watched TV, did some homework, had lunch and watched some more TV. Louis was interested anyways, wanting to know what I ate and what I watched and everything in between.

"I really don't deserve you." I blurted out suddenly. Louis looked startled and looked u prom my hands, which he had been holding.

"What do you mean?" He questioned, arching an eyebrow.

"I mean, you listen to me go on and on about Harry and I know I'm not the best girlfriend or the best kisser or anything and I can't help thinking you should be with someone else and not me because you're well.. You."

"I like you." Louis said with a small smile. "You're cute when you're worried and frantic and beautiful every time in between." I blushed.

He left not long after that, politely declining the offer to stay for dinner, as he was here eating with us just the other night. He kissed me goodnight and goodbye and I waved goodbye as he drove away. Sighing in relief, I closed the door. I still felt queasy thinking about Harry but Louis had made it better just by listening.

--

My phone was ringing. It's what woke me up in the middle of the night that Friday. After groaning and turning over, I grabbed it off my dresser. Harry's name flashed across the screen. My throat tightened so I denied his call. As I was settling back into my bed, he called again. The first time could have been a possible butt dial but he couldn't do it twice in a row.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Adelaide." Harry chocked out. I sat up. He sounded like he was in distress. He sounded upset. It was only after I had decided to wake up that I knew I shouldn't even care. Harry didn't care about me. He thought I was lying. But I cared anyways.

"What?" I asked lowly.

"You were right." My chest felt a little lighter as he said this. "You were right about everything." He had definitely been crying. I could hear it. "Toni was cheating on me and it wasn't just with Chad either I.. Oh god." He coughed a little to clear his throat. "I feel like such an asshole Addie. I didn't believe you but you have to believe me I didn't want to believe it was true. I never thought Toni would be capable of such a thing."

"Harry." I said slowly, so he would stop talking and listen to me instead. "I was your best friend. How could you believe a girl you've only know for a few months, not even a year, over your best friend whose known you for thirteen years."

"Was?" Harry repeated. I sighed.

"Yes, was." I said slowly. "You were the one who said we shouldn't be friends anymore."

"No, no, no, no." Harry rushed out. "Addie please I need you. I.." I cut him off. If he kept going, I knew I would give in.

"To what Harry? Put you back together again?" He sounded chocked up. "Okay, so we become friends again, I fix you, you're fine. What happens when you get a new girlfriend?"

"Addie." Harry whispered.

"No Harry just.. Just listen okay?" He didn't say anything. "So you get a new girlfriend and I find out she's cheating on you or worse will you not believe me again? Will you side with her?"

"Adelaide that's not fair." Harry said firmly.

"Fair? You want to talk about fair?" I demanded. "Was it fair that I lost my one true best friend? Was it fair for him to cut me off like I was nothing? You know, I always knew I was more invested in this friendship than you were, I just never wanted to be proven right." He was quiet and I knew I was being harsh but this was the hard truth, Harry and I weren't friends anymore, no matter how much I wanted to just forgive him, I couldn't.

"Addie."

"I love you Harry." I said slowly. "But I can't do this anymore."

"Adelaide." He cried out. I could tell he was crying again.

"Goodbye Harry." I hung up before I could hear him start to cry. I hung up before my own tears slid down my cheeks.