Til Forever Ends

Iris

"And I'd give up forever to touch you
'Cause I know that you feel me somehow"

Elizabeth pov

I rushed inside of the hospital, repeatedly asking the nurses at the front desk to let me see her. But, they didn't. It didn't take long for me to fall to my knees, tears flowing down my face. Life felt dull, meaningless. The thought of a life without her broke me down even more, to the point where it was becoming hard to breathe. It felt like oxygen ceased to exist. I sat on the ground with my head in my knees, crying my heart out. Because that's all I could do. Cry.

Suddenly, Kevin's voice made me look up instantly. "Liz.."

I could tell he was drained, by the eyebags on his face and his sluggish posture. Due to this, my heart broke even more. Slowly but surely, I managed to pull myself up. I wasted no time to engulf him in a hug. "I don't know if she's going to make it, Lizzie. She's been in surgery for hours."

At his words, I shook my head frantically. Tears were flowing out of my eyes nonstop, and it felt like with every one, energy was being drained from my body. I was trembling nonstop, unable to even mutter a word. It was as if my ability to speak had been taken away. And the more time passed, the angrier and guilter I felt.

"This is all my fault-" I muttered between sobs. "If I hadn't seen Robbie-"

"Stop, Lizzie." Kevin cut me off. "I don't know what happened tonight, but it isn't your fault. It was a terrible accident."

At this point, my heart was beating at a rapid pace. I felt like the air was full of knives, stabbing my whole body. The stinging pain in my heart never abandoned me as I stood there, feeling like only a half. I couldn't help but blame myself, if I hadn't met Robbie last night, we could've been at our home, finding comfort in each others safe embrace. I would've been in the arms of the woman I planned to propose to, feeling safe and sound.

I shook my head as I began to feel dizzy, "I c-can't-"

"Okay Lizzie, I need you to breathe." He states, guiding me to the seats in the waiting room. "Come sit down."

As I sat there, I felt like I was suffocating as a punishment. Flashes of my last minutes with her filled my mind, only making matters worse. I blamed myself. I should have stayed with her. Then, worst case scenarios began to cloud my whole head. Loud sobs escaped my mouth, but no matter how much I cried, the tears were neverending. This felt like a nightmare that was impossible to escape. All I wanted to do was wake up to Y/N staring at me with those mesmerizing, love filled eyes of hers. I wanted to feel her, but I didn't.

I don't know how many hours have passed, I completely lost track of time. Everytime the doors to the operating room opened, I immediately turned my attention to them. But like always, there was no update on Y/N. At one point, Kevin advised me to take a minute in the bathroom. Hesitantly, I did.

I stood in front of the mirror, gripping onto the sink like my life depended on it. I stared at myself, seeing my bloodshot eyes from the many hours of crying. For a second, I closed my eyes, and all I saw was her. Flashes of our memories replayed in my mind like I was reliving them. And for a second, I forgot. But as soon as I opened them, I was instantly reminded that Y/N was fighting for her life right now.

I leaned against the wall, allowing myself to slide down to the floor. My sobs were uncontrollable as I pulled out my phone, and went to my contacts. Somehow, I found myself staring at Y/N's number, pressing the call button. I didn't expect an answer, because all I wanted was to hear her voice. And I did. I listened to her voice-mail over and over again, finding comfort in the sound of it. Though, that was soon put to an end once I was told that her mailbox was full. I threw my phone as hard as I could, allowing the heart-breaking sobs to escape my mouth again. "What ifs" constantly invaded my mind, only making the guilt take over my whole body.