Letters to Love

Letter 1

Love,

My whole life I'd been living with the assumption that you were merely a platonic feeling shared between family or in the connections of friendship that are created through years. Lately I have had the overwhelming thought that you are so much more. I saw you in my parents before their divorce, two people who are not blood family and were not friends for long before their union. I saw you in the way they looked at eachother, in the way my father woke up with the sun just to prepare my mothers favorite breakfast so that it would be ready for her when she woke up. I saw you in the way my mother collapsed into my fathers arms after a long day because he was the person she found comfort in, her person. I have long since awaited the same feeling my parents shared, you, and in your absence I have created you within myself. I think you were what they were missing within themselves that they so desperately tried to find you within each other. I think this is why they failed as a couple. I will not make that same mistake.

I have found you in me. Something I never even considered as a possibility. I have opened the door to something so much more beautiful and fulfilling than sitting and waiting for you to come around. I have created you. Everything about myself is something to be grateful for, something to cherish and enjoy. The most beautiful things in life I find within me. While I still feel like I want somebody else in my life to share my joy with, I am more than satisfied without that somebody. This sounds better to me than trying to find somebody else when I have no idea who I am. This does not mean that my journey to you will cease, but that my journey with you will become that much better now that I know what it feels like to have you. The big search for an emotion, a feeling that I had no idea existed to this magnitude, will become the search to discover myself. 

 -P ♡