Love,
I am so tired of hurting. It seems that every effort I make to become closer to you I am simply pushed away. Every time I find a new aspect of myself that needs healing it seems the list of things is never ending. I am slowly unraveling myself inch by inch and I cannot imagine the grueling task of winding everything all back up, pretty and perfect. I am realizing far too quickly that there are more things about growing up than I anticipated dealing with. How do you seem so sweet from one side but on the other there is nothing but bitterness and sorrow.
I think about my dad a lot and I realize the thing I truly miss is the man he used to be. Now don't get me wrong my father is very much alive, but more often than not it seems like I have lost him to you. But what you are to him is completely different to what you are to me. I feel like he has lost himself in finding you. I miss the man he was before they split, I miss the joy that filled my heart when I heard him calling me 'pumpkin' from their room that was just down the hall from mine and my sisters. But I know that man is gone. He is now the shadow of the dad I used to know. Now married to his new wife he drones around distracting himself with work. But maybe I'm wrong, maybe this is the man he always was and now that I am older I'm seeing what he truly is. Neither thought is comforting and my inner child is hurting more than ever with the thought of not being able to have that relationship with him again. That young spirit within me will heal in due time and mourning that loss is one part of the process that I am not yet ready for. Healing is hurting.
-P ♡
YOU ARE READING
Letters to Love
RomanceThis novelita follows the inner feelings of a young writer who is experiencing love in a different light for the first time. This is accomplished through a series of letters written to 'Love' by the writer (the main character, I suppose). 'Love' in...
