Letters to Love

Letter 7

Love,

I know, it's been more than a week, I'm sorry. The adventures with Jessie just keep getting more and more interesting. They asked me to dinner the other night, not as anything serious just to hang out for a bit and grab some food. We were both talking about how we wanted tacos when we were hanging out at my apartment after the club, so we went to taco tuesday. It got kinda more personal than that night after the club since we weren't really in the playful fun high energy environment anymore. He talked about his ex a little bit and how he missed him for a while and I gave some advice about letting go since he was very adamant about explaining that the relationship wasn't healthy, just comfortable since it was long term. I told him that sometimes the only good thing a relationship can give you is learning how to let go of it. Once you fully learn how to let go once, it eases the difficulty of letting go again, it will still be painful but less of a struggle. The realization that the energy that no longer serves you must be let go, and it is okay to let go, is probably one of the most important lessons I have learned from myself in this process of healing and self love. The past is helpful in shaping the future. If you can't uncover what built your current undesirable behaviors then you can't change them. Most behavior is just habitual and if you can break that habit you can change your behavior, at least that is how I see it. We finished dinner then headed out to find somewhere to get dessert, he thought ice cream would be good but I wanted cookies so we went to the store and got a tub of mint moose tracks and a box of double chocolate chunk cookie mix, went back to my apartment and ate the ice cream while the cookies were baking. Yes we did smoke while eating, I don't wanna hear it, school has been going good and he packs a nice bowl too so hush. Cuddling with him is nice, he is SO comfortable. I don't even know what makes them different but it's just so nice being curled up on the couch together high as hell with snacks and something good playing on the tv. It's like Christmas when it's cold outside and nice and warm on the couch in front of the fire with some awful hallmark movie playing in the background while I sip on a too hot cup of hot cocoa. It's that same warmth I feel when we're together. It's just comforting and I enjoy it more than anything else right now.

-P ♡