Love,
In the weeks since I've written I can't help but feel like the entire universe has been slowly chipping away. I'm drowning in my own mind, in my own life. I have no clue how to get out. Every time I get one step ahead, I feel like my legs are taken from under me and I am left to crawl through the bleak desert that is this limited existence. I've never cared much about the thought of death, but it's been weighing on my mind since moving here. I can't help but think that all these attempts at healing are useless. How could I care so much about my own healing and not consider the other people around me who I feel I am pushing away in the process. I cut them out for my own good, persistent negativity is never good for the heart. I feel like through this process of healing I have been lying to myself about who I truly am, like I don't actually love myself, but I hate myself so much I feel I need to change everything in order to be worth loving. But I know that isn't true. Maybe I don't know. Building this relationship has been so rough. I feel like I'm the only one ever trying, because truly I am. Who else is there to put forth effort when bettering a relationship with yourself. Everything feels like a jumbled up mushy mess inside of my head and I don't know how to deal with it. Between work and school and my own brain and thoughts I feel like I have no room to breathe. No time to take a break. Life is going and I can't keep up.
I'm not myself right now, Love. And I don't know how to get back.
-P ♡
YOU ARE READING
Letters to Love
RomanceThis novelita follows the inner feelings of a young writer who is experiencing love in a different light for the first time. This is accomplished through a series of letters written to 'Love' by the writer (the main character, I suppose). 'Love' in...
