Love Revived

Belonging

"Jesus Jack!" I yell snatching my hand back from between my legs to cover my breasts. Jack's eyes drift down my body before meeting my eyes.

"Sorry Gwen, I thought you fell. I–I–" He says, his eyes wandering down my body and back once again.

"Ummmm, Jack?" I ask tentatively. "Could you get out?" Jack drops down to his knees and I shirk back. "What are you doing?"

Jack's hand reaches out across my body to my stub and he gently takes it. His eyes softening as he gently rubs it. "I am truly sorry Gwen." I remain silent as he rubs my stub with his other hand coming to rest on my knee not seeming to care if he gets wet.

"Jack," I warn and try to shirk away but he doesn't move. Instead, he moves closer and I can't help but freeze. First, his lips grease my lips and I suck in a breath. I have not been needy from earlier but doing this with Jack feels off. I find the strength to unfreeze myself and push at his chest. "No Jack." His jaw clenches but he doesn't move. "I love you Gwen don't you see that."

"I do– I am just not ready." He leans back on his heels, finally removing his hands from my body and out of the water's way.

"Then when? When Gwen? When will you be ready?" I lean forward and cut the water off. Turning it, I looked at Jack still trying to cover my breasts, and slide my knees up to my chest.

"Jack, I need time–"

"You didn't need time for that fucker to have you, did you?" I open my mouth and close it, too shocked to say anything at first. I don't know what to say so I just glare at him.

Jack's face has a hard edge to it that brings tears to my eyes. He watches me, his eyes softening. "Jack, please," I beg. "You are my best friend. Please, Jack, I need time." He sighs heavily, defeat dropping his shoulders.

"I'm sorry Gwen. I just care for you so much."

"I know."

"I will leave you alone, but call me if you need anything, okay?" I nod as he gets up and glances at me one more time before exiting the bathroom. I stare blankly at the door half expecting it to open again, but it doesn't and I get out of the bathtub I was sitting in. I throw on some joggers and a large shirt. With the large shirt that hangs almost to my knees, it hides my stub of an arm completely making it look like nothing is there. I feel my emotions bubble up and shut them away before I cry once again. I need to be strong... No, I am strong.

As I exit the bathroom I see Jack sitting on the couch with his head in his hands. Against my better judgment, I walk over to him and plop beside him on the couch. "Hey," I say.

"Hey," he responds with.

"Is everything okay?"

He sighs heavily and lifts his head looking forward. "I am. I just love and care for you so much. I came back for you when no one else would. I fought for you in the hospital. I saved you." He stresses.

I look forward defeated. "I know."

"Then why?" He asks, turning towards me. I look back at him to only see sadness reflected in his eyes.

"I am not ready Jack. I have told you this before. I don't know if I will ever be ready." For you...

"But you–" I hold my hand up to stop him.

"You saw him...taking advantage of me," I admit, even though I liked it and want more, no not more, Bie. I want Bie. Jack's face hardens as his jaw clenches. I rush in to defend Bie, "Bie is... was a good guy. He saved me from zombies, got me water and food... He was our chance for the cure. I was watching him change right before my very eyes."