My SpaceHey Kitten: A Riddlebat Story

Chapter 22: Emos Just Wanna Have Fun

Okay we pulled up, hopped out at the batcave. I was so excited to show the Riddler my home. We were going to have so much fun together! I started planning our day together: we could hang out in the gaming room, the indoor bowling alley, the indoor (or outdoor) swimming pool, the movie theater, or one of the living rooms. Eddie's mouth gaped open (he tended to do that a lot) as we stepped out of the limo. It was probably because Alfredo had just mowed our lawn (pre- explosion). He prided himself on that lawn– he was a connoisseur of lawns. There was so much to see!

"We probably can't tour the whole house in a day, so I can just show you my favorite places."

Eddie must have been really stunned at that lawn because he didn't respond. I could tell he was absolutely flabbergasted. It was probably because we didn't have an indoor water park because the house was too small. Alfredo (rip) thought it was important to keep me humble. We walked in and were greeted by Marinara, who was probably here while Alfredo was gone. She was so STUCK UP. She didn't let me play MCR out loud or put my monster side bangs in front of my eye. THIS WAS SO STUPID. I was a grown man; I didn't need a baby sitterughhhhh.

"Hi Ms. Marinara. Why are you here?"

"Good morrow to you, sir Bruce! I am hither while Alfred is hence. I see thee still art into that emo stuff, aren't thee? I see thee hath brought a friend!"

"Yeah... a friend...nothing more..."

"Maketh sure that gent knoweth all the house rules, and I desire thee knoweth we doth not allow shoes within this manor."
"OKAY! UGHHH WE KNOWWW!"

"A proper sir doesn't not useth such tone! Now who art thee, sir? Your attire seems... exotic."

"HI I'M EDDIE!"

"I believe thee mean... Edmund. From what manor doth thee hail?"

"PRISON."

"Oh...," she mumbled.

Oh God this was painful to watch. I had to put an end to this. Eddie didn't fit in with Marinara's ideas of high class society. I didn't want him to embarrass himself.

"Okay, okay, Marinara-"

"Mine name is Marina, and I expect thee to address me as such!"

"Alfredo lets me do it!"

"Well I do not knoweth how that gent alloweth thee doth, but at which hour I am heareth this is what we doth."

"Okay fine ughhhh... Let's go Eddie."

I led him inside, up the spiral staircase, past (several) living rooms, and into my room first.

"It's kinda small, but I think we can squeeze in."

"ARE THOSE FANTASY WOLF BED SHEETS?!"

I really wanted Black Parade bed sheets, but Alfredo and I settled on this really epic hyper realistic wolf with an awesome galaxy background. You could say I related to wolves; they liked the night and had inner demons (probably).

"Wait till you see my sick band posters," I began, pointing to each one, "The Black Parade, Nirvana, XXXTentacion, Pierce the Veil, and Radiohead."

"YOU LISTEN TO RADIOHEAD TOO?!"

"Yeah, I relate to Creep a lot. What do you listen to?"

"You've probably never heard of them... they're pretty underground. Weezer, Oingo Boingo, Daft Punk, Car Seat Headrest, and Lemon Demon are my favorites."

Suddenly, Marinara slammed open the door. God, she was such a pain in my bum. I just wanted Alfredo back. He was cool and let me do fun stuff. He was also not canonically homophobic, unlike Marinara.