A riddlebat fanfic riddled with angst, lactose intolerance, and love confessions. Bruce Wayne, the Batman, goes undercover on a social media website to hunt down the Riddler, a streamer who has been terrorizing Gotham by exposing its corruption thro...
The Industrial Revolution and its consequences had been a disaster for the human race. They had greatly increased the life-expectancy of those of us who lived in "advanced" countries, but they had destabilized society, had made life unfulfilling, had subjected human beings to indignities, had led to widespread psychological suffering (in the Third World to physical suffering as well) and had inflicted severe damage on the natural world. The continued development of technology would worsen the situation. It would certainly subject human beings to greater indignities and inflict greater damage on the natural world, it would probably lead to greater social disruption and psychological suffering, and it may lead to increased physical suffering even in "advanced" countries.
I thought about this while on the train; I was going to Arkham to visit my boo, the Riddler. I could never visit my parents since they were dead. I was an orphan. I hope Eddie was doing okay. I worried endlessly for him. I checked his SpaceHey and twitter every hour. The sadness I felt knowing he probably hated me was unbearable.
While on the train, I decided to listen to some music. Night Visions by the Imagination Dragons was my choice. Radioactive was my favorite– the lyrics were just like me. I related to Demons as well– I had a beast inside and inner demons that no one could possibly understand (I didn't have a father figure). The devil shivers when I lose my temper. I glanced over, and I saw myself in the reflection of the window. It was emo; my cold gaze gave away all the darkness and angst inside. Who was I? Vengeance? The Batman? Bruce Wayne? Or just a simple boy with a couple million dollars and no parents who lived in a mansion and got everything he wanted? God, my life was so hard; I was an orphan.
The train ride to Arkham was mostly uneventful except for my epic tunes and some middle schoolers snickering at my outfit. I knew the studded belt was pretty epic. So the entire ride, I gazed out the windows longing for the Riddler, who would probably want nothing to do with me now. He was so pathetic, aquatic, and an incel. I had also decided to get him a cake:
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Were we tired of the cakes yet? It was emo, just like me. I asked the lady to add G Fuel to the frosting instead of lactose. In case it did have milk, I could just stop over by the Arby's outside the prison.
Finally, the train let off; I tried to slap the door frame on the way out, and instead the door closed on my hand. Ouchies. I fucking hated that door; it was so evil and cruel like this one physics teacher I had once who used to work at the orphanage and was once a flapper. This door didn't know I was neurodivergent and a minor like three years ago.
I quickly changed into the Batsuit. I then took a short, escorted ride to the doors of the prison. I told the guards that I was here on behalf of the GCPD; I needed to further question the Riddler. The head of Arkham, Dr. Jonathan Crane, met me outside. I told him his insides were ugly just like his shoes. He looked like he specialized in cruel and unusual punishment and made corn husk dolls in his free time. He was orphan material, or at least I hoped he was.
He welcomed me to Arkham Asylum and showed me inside. It looked like some place Zak Bagans would go. He was my hero; he wore all black and was just like me fr. The inmates looked miserable; they screamed a lot. At least they probably weren't orphans, like me. They probably had no idea what it was like to have credit card privileges taken away from them. I scanned the rows of tiny, dilapidated cells in search of Eddie, to no avail.
"When can I see the Riddler?"
My tour guide smirked. From his eyes, I could tell that he probably got lost in a corn maze once. Or created the Zara website. God this guy smelled like he didn't have a father figure.
"Ah yes, my favorite subject. We will see him shortly."
"Subject?"
"All Arkham Asylum patients are subjected to... experimental treatment. For research."
Was this even legal? This had to have violated some civil liberties. I didn't know if I even wanted to see him anymore. If I could stomach it. I wouldn't be able to control myself.
I was led to a visitor center entirely encased by glass. Eddie sat, chained to a desk in the center. Was I to watch him from behind the glass, like an animal? Why wouldn't they let me in?
He stared at me, without a word.
"Let me explain. Please."
"I have nothing to say to you."
"Please-"
"YOU ABSOLUTE TRAITOR! YOU IMBECILE! HOW COULD YOU? I TOOK A SHOWER FOR YOU! I HADN'T LEFT MY HOUSE IN MONTHS! I THOUGHT... I thought you were going to propose. I thought we had something."
"Propose? My brother in Christ, it was an intervention. I was trying to prevent this. I can't stand being away from you. My heart... I love you."
"Then why... did you turn me in?"
"I didn't turn you in, I swear. I have no idea how they found us. Just like William Shakespeare said, 'I would never turn you in. I love you; I will help you figure this out'. I'm submitting my amicus curiae brief right now."
"You're a friend of the court?!?!?!?!"
"Only for you. ACAB"
I approached the glass that separated us, carefully raising my hand to meet the cold, glistening surface. Eddie started to lift his hand, but his movements were strained from his hands shackled to the table. He backed out of his chair, and with a horrible SHREEEEEEEEEEEEEK the metal table grinded against the tile floor with each step the prisoner took. Eddie awkwardly placed his hand against mine and gazed into my eyes.
"I'll keep you updated; I promise. Surely the court will have mercy on a misunderstood orphan. Just hang in there, please. I'll visit you as often as I can."
"I'll try. Thank you."
I started toward the exit.
"I love you," Eddie whispered.
"I love you too."
On the way to the train station, I wondered if I was doing the right thing. Just... waiting it out, trying to legally appeal Edward Nashton's case. But something boiled inside of me, as if I knew deep down that no one was going to let this man out of prison. The court would never be merciful on someone who killed the mayor, the commissioner, the district attorney, and possibly countless others. Still, he didn't deserve to be there. He was only doing what he thought was right. He fell victim to the failure of this city and wanted to expel its corruption. How was he any different from me? The people he killed had been abusing the system and would have never been caught. Eddie only hurt guilty people, not civilians. I kept telling myself that. That would be how we would win this case.
But Jonathan Crane. I could still see his cold, dead gaze as he bragged about his unethical experimentation. What was he going to do to Eddie? I must have thought about a hundred horrible torture methods.
Just do the right thing and go home, I repeated.
I looked into the eyes of the middle schooler who had screamed "EMOOOOO!" in my face just moments before and saw Eddie. I could hear his screams as he begged for the nightmares to stop.
Just do the right thing and go home.
Dr. Crane smiled as he watched his new test subject cry in pain (agony even). He laughed at the thought of what he'd do to him tomorrow.
Just do the right thing and go home.
The train pulled into the station, but I would not go in. I thought of Eddie, who would wonder where I was to save him...
Go back.
I ran out of the train station, racing back toward Arkham Asylum.
