Weight of Words

I'm not okay

Wish I had someone to talk to who could understand. I have no one since he alienated me from my family and friends.

He left me with nothing. I feel every broken pain filled emotion. How could he do this to us?
All for a two month type of notion.

He said I wasn't affectionate enough.
He doesn't understand that I only reacted to his hiding lies and for me, that was all too rough. I couldn't possibly sweep all that under the rug.

I tried to love him in every way.
I tried to explain how I felt, but he never listened to the words I'd say.

He just didn't want me.
Looking at it, it's all too clear to see.

How can a woman spice things up for a man who isn't trying either? Every time he told me he was at work, he was going to see her.

I didn't know until I found her name, that she too was married and doing to him, the same. Yet, in my heart it was me who still took all the blame.

Why is it so hard for two people to be completely committed? One gives their all and the other wants to remain undecided.

Words mean nothing to me anymore. I constantly want to push people away and keep a locked door.

I tell myself no one will except me for exactly who it is that I am. I'm not worth loving. I'm something no one can stand, all thanks to him.