Weight of Words

Heart on Hiatus

I don't like you with all your sarcasticy cleverness.
I don't even like any of your witty charm or your caring thoughtfulness.

The way I'm drawn to you gets under my skin.
Drives me crazy and I hate the state it puts me in.

I can't stand the way you know something's wrong.
I don't even have to say a word. No matter if the distance is prolonged.

I get so frustrated with myself when hearing from you makes me smile. I notice I'm doing it and mentally scold myself for awhile.

I can't be the one who's all wrapped up in something when it's nothing. My safety defenses sending the sounds of warning.

Sometimes like an idiot I accidentally let things I think slip. Panic hits I start cussing myself because I was never supposed to feel let alone say it.

I tell myself I'm the support and nothing more.
Get over the stupid butterflies and these
unwanted feelings I'll have to figure out how to ignore.

Took me years to achieve this "never again" status.
If it involves him it sends that the hell on hiatus.

Yes.. I do believe
I may have...made up a word..

Anyways,
I'm screwed & not the fun way
Sadly..