Weight of Words

Anti-Love

Looking at my life I want to cry, but instead I suck it up. No lover of mine has ever treated me like I was good enough.

A failed marriage full of violent pain and ultimate betrayals, kind of always had my mind thinking unconditional love was never real.

I've always had to alter myself for these men. Men who in their heart, wouldn't let me in.

Every single one of them the same, saying the words I needed to hear. They loved playing mind games.

No matter how broken I was when they found me, no matter how many times I told them to let me be.

Each one claiming to be different, each one of them having their own way of ignition.

I was an ignorant woman who no matter what, wore her heart on her sleeve. Always taking the chance on one of them, I wanted so badly to believe.

Now I struggle with nothing but demons. They love to haunt me late at night, when I try sleeping.

Undeniable, I live with self medicating. Full of regret, alcohol, music and hell raising.

Full of words I'll never tell anybody. My personality trait is being sarcastic and kind of cocky.

I think love is something that only exists within writing, that's the only time I can feel it's ever trusting and inviting.

I shut the world out, I refuse to let anyone in.
After all, thats how my self destruction first began.

For all my single, don't want to mingle,
relationships are bullshit readers.
Like me.
💔
Happy effin V day.