Hello, Heartache ~Uchiha Sasuke Love story~

Chapter 49: Trying To Go Back To Before

'Are you sure you're going to be all right?' Nii-san asked, looking deeply concerned.

I smiled weakly and nodded. 'I''ll be fine. I'm just moving back, aren't I? The place isn't foreign, y'know.'

'I still don't get why you have to move back.' Masoto grumbled, pouting. 'You seemed fine living with us.'

Nii-san and I shared an amused look at Masoto. I ruffled his hair and laughed.

'Come on, cheer up!' I said. 'Look on the bright side. With me gone, you won't have anyone to constantly nag at you to help with the chores.'

'I'd rather that than you gone ...' he mumbled, looking away.

I sighed, walking towards him before wrapping my arms around him. 'I'm sorry, Masoto. I just need some time alone. I - I'll come back in future -'

'Is it a promise?'

My eyes widened slightly, not expecting those words to come from Nii-san.

I pulled away from Masoto and stared at Nii-san, forcing a smile. I nodded.

It's been about a month since the war's ended and everyone's trying to get back to their usual lives. But you couldn't get back those who were gone. You couldn't bring back people from the dead.

Since the war ended, I've been living with my brothers in the Tsukino compound. With our parents gone I thought I needed to move back and thought it'd be better. But I just couldn't. I couldn't stand being in that house any longer - being reminded only of bitter memories I held on to for so long about my parents. And it didn't help that some of my clan members gave me disapproved looks every time I walked past them. For no apparent reason.

Another reason why I continued living with my brothers for quite some time was because then, they'd always be around me.

Occasionally, I would see Sasuke approach me and all I needed to do was stick to my brothers and they'd pull me away from him. It hurt each time to see Sasuke look like he wanted to talk to me but only have me stay away from him. But I just couldn't bring myself to forgive him and at the same time, I wanted him.

I couldn't keep using my brothers as human shields to avoid Sasuke. I had to do it on my own.

***
I moved the last box into my room and sighed with relief.

Finally, I'm done moving all my stuff.

I stretched my arms above my head, letting out an inhumane sound (best I lived alone. That sound could have scared away a herd of cows) and glanced at the clock on my desk.

Four in the afternoon.

Deciding that I needed some fresh air, I walked in front of my full-length mirror, checking whether I looked alright to leave the house.

I was dressed in my casual attire - no weapons on me at all. Just the usual, maroon jacket, black shirt, bermudas and of course, a maroon ribbon tied around my wrist.

I left the house in a daze, looking up and seeing the dark grey sky. The cool wind caressed my cheeks and tousled my hair. Shoving my hands into my pocket, I began strolling around the village, looking around.

It looked like it could rain any minute but I enjoyed the weather right now and Konoha was usually sunny and bright. I usually just enjoyed the overcast sky.

I was suddenly hit with a feeling of longing. Otousan and Okaasan were gone. Neji-san was gone. So many people were gone. I would never see them again. Ever.

From the war, Nii-san lost an ear. I left the war with a deep scar across my thigh.

I made my way to a park bench and slumped onto it. Putting my head into my hands, I began to feel tiny droplets of rain fall onto the exposed part of my skin. I ignored it.