I Hate You ~ Louis Tomlinson

SAD DAY

It's been a week since Natalie was hurt, about two months since she moved in with the boys which is crazy to think about. He relationship with Louis only seems to have gotten worse, she wouldn't have believed the things that happened a few short days ago if she hadn't lived through it.

He is back to being annoying, and rude, he ignores her half the time. She basically has whiplash trying to keep up with his mood swings and better yet her own emotions. 

It was hard for her to see that side of Louis because she knows she may never see it again.

She pushes that out of her mind as she continues trying to do her work. She's thankful in a way that he is back to normal, everyone else isn't. They don't bring it back up, but the vibe is off. Harry constantly feels like she's hiding other things from him even if he won't say it out loud, she can tell. The other boys are constantly asking her if she needs anything.

It's nice, don't get her wrong her, but it's a bit suffocating and she isn't used to any kind of treatment like that. She knows they come from a good place and she's thankful for them beyond belief. She feels incredibly safe which she's not taking it for granted, but it's still something to get used to to say the least.

It's not like she never had people around, she did. It's just their relationship was always conditional. When she did things that people in her life wanted, they were happy she was around. The second, she didn't it was like she was the most awful person in the world.

She was used to doing things on her own and as much as she appreciated the boys help, she's afraid to get used to it.

Maybe that's why she's enticed by Louis, he doesn't try to take care of her, (before her accident that is). He doesn't treat her like she's anything special, but he doesn't ask her for much either.

As much as she tries she can't figure out why she's drawn to him. He is handsome, anyone could admit, but she is usually more drawn to a guy's personality. And though Louis has plenty of personality, the way he acts is not something she usually enjoys.

She had been torn about how she felt before, but him taking care of her, it really sealed the deal. Of course she would do nothing of it, she didn't want to make any moves. She's so afraid of rejection it isn't even funny.

Yes, no one likes rejection, but for her it feels like more than that.

It's just a rainy day, in her mind and outside. In a way, she likes when it rains when she's sad. It's like it's explaining how she feels without her having to say anything. Like someone understands her without her having to talk about it. It's strangely comforting, but it also has a tendency to make her sadder.

That or her really depressing playlist. She knows it isn't helpful, but again she wants something to understand her.

She sighs and continues doing her work. She's working on some outreach, reaching out to some potential partnerships and interviewers. Checking the boys schedules to see when things will fit.

Even though it's part of her job, it's tedious. And it leaves her a lot of room to think, which usually doesn't bother her, but today her mind just won't let up.

What would happen after her few months here were up? The boys would go on and tour and have a great time and be super busy. Where would she be? In her apartment by herself. And it wouldn't be their fault if they forgot her, it happens.

She's barely even heard from anyone back home. She's been gone for weeks, but it's like it didn't even matter to them. It makes her sad, but in a way she expected it. She was waiting for it to happen. Maybe she did it to herself in a way, but she just didn't want to beg for anyone's attention.

She didn't want to have to chase someone just to get a text back, so she lost contact with a lot of people. She's so busy with the boys she hardly even noticed until she did notice and now it's all she can think about.

She moved states for goodness sake, for all they know she could be dead. She doesn't want to go back home.

Natalie is quiet during lunch and Harry definitely notices, but he doesn't want to ask about it in front of everyone. So he just watches her out of the corner of his eye as she watches the rain drops fall down the window.

She says she's fine when he briefly asks and he would have believed her. She said she loved the rain and he can tell she does, but she put her head against the glass and sighed. Who does that if they're not sad? That's like classic I'm sad but don't want to tell anyone about it behavior.

He waits until after work to check on her for real.

"Hey, are you okay?"

She nods, it doesn't convince him even in the slightest.

"I don't want to push you, but you can talk to me. About whatever you need." He urges and she can see its genuine, of course it is. Harry is always genuine. "Do you miss your family?" He asks after a while of trying to narrow down the source of her sadness.

She scoffs at that and then hangs her head. "I haven't heard from anyone in weeks." She says lowly.

"What?" He asks and it's clear he's surprised.

"Yeah, I didn't realize until today, but I think its been like 2 weeks which is actually kind of crazy."

"Maybe they don't want to bother you." He offers. 

"Yeah I mean maybe, but I would still reach out to someone ya know? Just make sure they're okay and say like its fine if you're busy just let me know you're alive even. But nothing."

"I know you would," he says and then pulls her in for a hug. "I'm really sorry that they haven't reached out."

"It's okay," she says her voice still quiet.

He pulls back and looks her in the eyes, "Hey, you have us. I mean I can't speak for everyone else exactly even though I'm sure they would say the same thing, but you've got me."

He can see the hesitance in her eyes so he furrows his eyebrows in a silent question.

"It's not that I think you're lying Haz, but you're going to go on tour and you'll be busy and things just get pushed to the side. And I don't blame you for that, ya know, but you can't promise that."

"Can so," he says and she chuckles at his child like behavior. "Okay yeah some things get pushed to the side, but you prioritize what you want in your life and I want you in my life." He says slowly. 

As an attempt to try to hold back her tears at his kind words she hugs him.

They're sitting on her bed both cross legged and her knees rest on top of his and she scoots closer, bending toward him to put her head on his chest. His head rests on top of hers and he holds her close.

"Face it you're stuck with me," he says giggling and then he falls backward on her bed pulling her with him.

If nothing else, at least she has him.