I Hate You ~ Louis Tomlinson

NOT BOTH

"So, I assume you know why you're here so let's cut to the chase," Linda begins. 

Her welcome is not friendly or warm in the slightest and that does nothing to settle Natalie's nerves. She sits there twiddling her ring around her finger. She's surprised, but her mind doesn't have the time to dwell on it. 

"Sure, that'd be fine," Natalie says before her mind catches up with her. 

"Right," Linda gives her a tight lipped smile. It's not even a smile really, but it's trying to pretend to be one.

"I'd like to begin by evaluating the work you've done so far. You've done well, there's no denying that." She says with an appraising nod.  

"You have had some obstacles to get through, but you seem to have found your own way to get through them." She says with a judgmental tone.

Natalie doesn't know if she's seriously overthinking this, or if she's done something personally against Linda to offend her. They've not had too much interaction besides email, but she's never gotten the impression that they were anywhere close to enemies. The few times they'd met it seemed to have gone great.

Now she's second guessing herself and wracking her brain for any moment where things could have gone awry, all while trying to listen to her performance review. 

"Engagement has gone up quite a bit, which is good. That was our primary purpose for hiring you. You've done well encouraging the boys to be more active on their socials and it does seem natural to the fans, not forced. Well done on that as well," Linda says. 

Natalie's hearing it, she's hearing that she's done her job well, but the words and the way Linda says them are so different. 

If she's done so well and completed all the tasks they've given her, why isn't Linda happy? She's not looking for a thank you, but some indication that she means the words she's saying would be quite nice. 

"And well, it wouldn't be a review if we didn't speak about areas that were less than perfect. The main thing is, you could have utilized the bands page more. I know we spoke about it being used more frequently as the tour came closer so we would like you to be sure to focus on using the account more for the remainder of your time with us."

It's in that moment Natalie's stomach drops, it's in that moment she realizes she wants to go with them more than anything. 

She thought if her choice was taken away it would make it easier, but she feels like her heart is breaking. No, touring with them wouldn't necessarily be easy but she wants it. 

Natalie nods but hangs her head as she waits for Linda to continue. 

"All that being said, we would like to offer you a position on the tour," Linda says and Natalie's head snaps up. 

Her mind can't catch up, her heart can't catch up. They've only been talking for like 15 minutes, but she thinks she's felt every emotion possible in the short time. 

When her mind does finally catch up, Natalie smiles, but it's gone as quickly as it comes. 

"But that's not all, if you chose to take the position, you have to break up with Louis." Linda says, almost defiantly as she crosses her arm over her chest and leans back a bit from the table. 

What?

Natalie realizes she didn't actually say anything when Linda raises her eyebrows at her. Natalie's just sat there, leaning forward with her eyes wide open, stunned. In all her many nights of worrying she never expected that. 

"What?"

"It's a condition of you taking the job." Linda says plainly. 

"Why? How did you-" Natalie begins but her voice cracks. She clears her throat and starts again, "How did you know about that?" 

"It's not hard to tell dear," Linda says, sighing and unimpressed. It's funny how she uses a term of endearment, but her voice reflects nothing of the sort. "And we've seen the Instagram. Everyone else might not know who you are, but I do."

"Oh," she says quietly and looks down. 

Her mind is reeling. If the decision felt impossible before, it actually is now. Like the definition of impossible. She knows it for sure now, she can't leave Louis, she doesn't want to. Not to mention she loves her job and if she doesn't take the job she loses him in another way.

If she tells Louis, she knows he'll be very unhappy, no telling what he will do. She doesn't want to put that on him.  

"Why, though?" She asks and her voice sounds so small. 

Linda softens for a second, but brings back her steely composure at what must be a record speed, "It wouldn't be good. Louis needs to be focused and so do you. This is not a small task and we don't give it out to just anyone. You are great at your job, but some things just have to be." 

It's quiet again before Linda continues. 

"You can have the job, or him, not both."