I Hate You ~ Louis Tomlinson

LIKE YOU MOST

"So, how was it?" 

Is the first thing Natalie hears when she walks out of the conference room. Her mind is reeling, she's so conflicted she can barely see straight. 

She looks up to find Niall, bright and shining smile, waiting for her to answer him. 

She can't return his smile so she puts on a fake one. It's passable. 

"Oh, today was just a performance review. She's not sure when I'll hear back about the tour." She says lowly. 

It's not true, but she can't tell them. She didn't give Linda an answer, she couldn't bring herself to make a decision that quickly. She's not sure time will even help, but Linda told her she'll need a decision by the end of the week. 

"Do you think you'll get it?" Liam asks kindly, clearly curious and oblivious to the small torture this has been for her. 

"Yeah, I think so, but can we go home? I'm tired," she says and tries to deflect from any further conversation about it. 

"Yeah, yeah of course love." Louis says huddling her into him, wrapping his arm around her shoulders. 

She sighs a shaky breathe, feeling a small comfort being so close to him. They all head outside to the waiting cars, but the two of them fall back a bit. 

"Alright?" Louis asks, fully stopping to assess her once their out of the view of the rest of the boys. 

"Yeah," she breathes, rolling her bottom lip into her teeth. 

"Mine," Louis says sweetly and kisses her so she stops gnawing on her lip. 

"Yeah. I'm yours Lou, all yours." She says folding into his chest. 

He huffs out a little laugh and she can feel it vibrate against her cheek. 

"I meant your lip, shouldn't bite it like that love."

"Oh yeah," she says moving back to look at him. "That's yours too."

She smiles and kisses him. She keeps her eyes closed even as she pulls back, leaning up on her tippy toes. She rests her forehead against his and whispers, "Let's go home."  

Louis nods against her and takes her hand. 

The car ride is quiet. It's just her, Louis, and Zayn in their car, the other boys in the other one. 

Natalie is trying not to worry, but she's so conflicted. She can't tell Louis, can she? 

Honesty is the best policy and all, but she has no idea how to say this to him or how he'll react. Or even how she wants him to react for that matter. 

She thought she'd feel better once she knew whether she really wanted to go or not, sadly that's not the case. She knows she should just talk to Louis about this, she knows that. Her sweet, lovely boy. She knows he'll help her, it just doesn't feel fair. It's bad enough she's been so anxious the past few days, she feels bad that he's had to take care of her so much without this too. 

She also knows they gain nothing from her not being honest. 

She'll tell him, just not yet. She sighs and leans against the window. 

"Hey," Louis says, rubbing up and down her arm. She looks up at him, "I'm here, okay?"

She nods and folds over, laying her head in his lap. She can't bring herself to look at him right now. She doesn't even know what she would say.