She can't seem to remember us.
It plays in my head over and over again like a broken record. I drop down to the edge of my bed so deep in thought of what Mackie just told me hours ago. He was not joking around or trying to play with me like he always does. I can tell by the way he looked at me, he's serious. I tried to get some more details about their meeting and he said some things. I believe I heard it but it just didn't sink in to me because one thing is screaming in my head.
She can't seem to remember us.
That's impossible. I tell myself, but why would Mackie tell me that. I have so many questions in my head that needs answers and I might not be able to sleep tonight because of that. My plans of starting to move on and not having thoughts of her tonight just thrown into the trash, just like that. Now I fight the urge to do something, anything. Call her mom, well that would be strange and awkward since we haven't spoken in two fucking years. Her friends, well that would just reveal my secret of still loving her after a long time.
"Fuck" I curse under my breath getting more and more bothered by the situation. Now I glance around hoping to find some kind of answers to my questions and my eyes landed on my desktop. I tell myself no. But then my eyes keep darting at my computer calling me in some way. But I close my eyes and shake the thought in my head. Its been a long day and I'm pretty tired. Maybe I just need to clear my head.
I let out a huge sigh and got up to get ready for bed even though I'm still thinking about it right at the moment. I went for a bath to try and take her off my mind and somehow not to overthink things. I used my mind tricks to distract myself from her. describe something or just say something. I started saying things I see in my bathroom out loud like shower, towels, sink, bath tub and it goes on and on. It repeats when I ran out of things to say. I find it helpful because as my mind is thinking it, I could also hear myself saying it. It was kind of working but just for a moment. Because as soon as I was dressed and ready for bed, I get a glimpse of my computer again and it just comes rushing back to me again.
"No Lizzie, you've done it for almost two years you can't just throw all of that effort away." I say to myself as I avert my eyes from my computer and started getting under the covers. Maybe Netflix would take my thoughts away from her. I grab the control and turn the TV on and put some random series on Netflix. To be honest, I don't even want to watch TV. I want to watch something else maybe her videos. Fuck! Why can't I take her off my mind.
"You know what, Fuck it! I can't torture myself like this." I turned off the TV and get off the bed storming to my computer and turn it on. I wait impatiently for it to finally open, my stomach churning at my level of anxiety right now. I need to know what happened to her for the last two fucking years because If I don't get anything right now, I will be forced to call Kevin and ask him myself. I'm pretty sure he has a clear idea on what happened to her.
As soon as my desktop appears. I went straight to the internet and to YouTube. I literally shouldn't be doing this and if the twins were here they would've thwacked me in the head or something again. So I'm really thankful I've moved out and I can do whatever I want right now.
"nowthisisliving" I say to myself typing the familiar name on my keyboard before hitting enter. And there she is. My heart starts beating loudly in my chest as my hands had gone sweaty and cold. I clicked on her channel and see the last upload. I felt a little more anxious when I saw that she just uploaded 2 fucking days ago. Oh God, should I be doing this, probably not. But even though, I find myself clicking on that video before it starts to play right before my eyes.
The video starts off with her lying about making another video from her last video which is when she dyed Peach's hair pink and that's when we were still together so now I'm having second thoughts on what Mackie said to me earlier.
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Reruns (Elizabeth Olsen Fanfic)
Fanfiction(Book 2 of Photograph) It's been 2 years since Elizabeth and Shannon's relationship faded into nothing and with the countless events that had happened in those 2 years, they haven't heard any news about each other mainly on Shannon's side. Elizabeth...
