Euphoria • jordan poole

ghost of christmas past

Jordan sighed as he stared at the newly shoveled driveway of his home. A few inches of snow came in last night and he wanted to be able to leave without the struggle. Christmas was approaching and he wasn't looking forward to it at all. If you asked him a few years ago he would've told you that Christmas is his favorite time of the year besides basketball season. Things have changed now. His mom and mother in law were in town and decided to take the kids out just to give Jordan his free time.

"I got the flowers, water, scissors....I feel like I'm forgetting something", he mumbles to himself.

He snaps his fingers grabbing the waterproof blankets and the Christmas decorations that his mothers wanted him to put up. Grabbing his keys he makes his way out of his big house.

• • •

Jordan drags the wagon behind him and he walks through the same path he's been walking through for the past four years. Once he gets to his designated area, he brushes the snow off of the tombstones and lays the waterproof blanket down. The wind blew as he changed out the flowers with red roses, cliche but a favorite. After he place the decorations around the stone and plot he takes a seat releasing a sigh.

Y/N Y/M/N Poole
November 4, 2001 December 24, 2036
wife, mother, daughter, and friend

"Hey baby I'm sorry I haven't been able to visit you these past couple of weeks. Things with work are getting crazy and handling the kids is another job on its own. I finished Christmas shopping so the kids can have a good Christmas. I got you a few things too and put them on your side of the closet. I don't think I can keep doing this though. All the kids in the neighborhood call me Mr. Scroog around this time of year. The holidays just get more depressing each year and it's starting to affect me mentally. I just want to be with you but I can't leave the kids behind."

The man remove his gloves so he could wipe off his tears before they froze on his face. Jordan can't lie and say these few years haven't be tough. Being a single father handling a teen, a pre-teen, and a first grader. Yeah his mom and Y/N's come in and help from time to time, but it wasn't enough for him. All he wanted was for his wife to be with him and in his arms. He kisses the graphite piece and picks up all of his things before saying his goodbyes.

Ever since Y/N's death, the guilt and blame has been weighing on his muscular shoulders heavy. It all could've been prevented if he wasn't being a dickhead that day. He thinks that's why he's quiet now...because he's afraid that he's going to lose somebody else close to him. He pulls off from the grave sight hoping that his kids will put him in the Christmas spirit.

• • •

Pulling up to the Poole residence, he cuts the car off and slowly gets out not wanting to fall. There have been too many times where he busted his ass on the pavement and Y/N laughed. His ears perked up when he heard screaming meaning that the boys were tormenting their sister or it was the other way around. Walking inside he sees both of his mothers placing gifts under the Christmas tree while Aiden, Keegan, and Noelle argued over what he assumed was the tv remote. Once he placed his stuff down he plucks his two boys in the ear giving them a scowl.

"What did I tell y'all about arguing with your sister?"

"No Noelle been acting like an ass all day pops."

"Language", both grandmas warn their grandson.

"We'll just give her the remote y'all probably been hogging the tv all day."