FROM THE NORM TO THE MARGIN

My little sweetie.

With children there is never a dull moment. Sometimes I just want to have a day where nothing happens. Maybe I'd just go round and round in circles. I don't know, I've never tried it and it's not going to start today.

I'm going to be a grandmother now!!!!!!!!I wake up this morning after only a few hours of sleep. In the evening I only manage to switch off when my eyes are ready to explode. I spend evenings eating Kdramas. I have temporarily given up books. Yes, you heard me right.It's eight o'clock here and since yesterday afternoon my fourth child has been in the maternity ward because her water has broken. So I immediately check my mobile phone to see if there is any news and if I haven't heard the notifications. And there, voice message.She ended up asking for the epidural which she didn't want to hear about before. She tells me that the pain has become unbearable. From her I know it must be very violent as she was sick enough as a child to suffer in silence to only complain in extreme cases. My poor baby.Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

She is in the delivery room and her roommate and friend is by her side. It must be said that she wanted to leave to make a life for herself in a city without worrying about whether the family was close by. Her sisters who stayed in France are several hundred kilometres away. The same goes for my sister, my brother and my parents. She also encouraged me to go to Asia. As if on purpose, her friend broke her foot the night before, so she is off sick and can stay with her.I'm following the progress of the work live. It's weird to imagine that your child is going to give birth to a little being. It's also weird for my generation to imagine that during this time she's still sending me Snap messages to keep me informed of what's happening to her. I'm on the other side of the world and I'm kind of with her at the same time. I hope that all these means of communication convey the love and tenderness of a mum who is worried about her baby having a baby of her own. I know what it's like to give birth. If I could, I would make sure that my daughters would never experience such intense pain. And that's an understatement.

One centimetre at three in the morning in France. Then four, I tell myself that it's progressing and that she will soon be free of pain and fulfilled in front of this new little face that I can't wait to discover. Five, it's going well. Six, my throat starts to tighten. I feel that I already love this little piece. Seven, then nine, my heart is speeding up, the moment is approaching. Ten, they are waiting for him to decide to go down into the pool. I wonder how she can still use her mobile. It must still be okay. I haven't heard from her for an hour now. Neither have my other daughters. This must be the most precious moment, our treasure must be here. I want to see her face. It's too hard to wait... And if her silence means there are complications. It's becoming unbearable. And then she sends me a video with Lucy massaging her legs on the sheets. 

But that means WHAT!!!!!

I swear to you. Have kids, it's guaranteed permanent stress. Especially when they tell you: "Don't worry mum, I've got this". But who came up with such a stupid and scary phrase as that?What can I send my chick? Can we give flowers to the maternity ward? Why am I thinking about this now? Who cares? All I want is for my daughter to finally give birth, for everything to go well, for her to be happy and for the baby to be healthy. Especially since the surprise pregnancy was difficult. My daughter is only nineteen. She is so young. I wanted her to have time to live for herself. She chose a different path, her own. I can't help but worry, even though I'm convinced that she will be a good mother.