FROM THE NORM TO THE MARGIN

A social life under construction.

We are two days away from the Christmas holidays. Last night I didn't have the courage to set an alarm at three o'clock in the morning to follow the semi-final of the World Cup. So this morning, the first thing I did when I woke up was to take my phone to look at the results and then I got a message from one of my daughters in France who sent me a "France is in the final! So my children know me by heart.

So the day starts well and I know what I'm doing on Sunday night... I'm not a big football fan but I've always seen my dad put on a tracksuit and sit on the sofa watching the games with passion, shouting Oh! Argh! I even had my mum who was really into OM in the good old days and used to carry the blue and white scarf around in her car. On the other hand (it's my gambling side) I didn't miss the 1998 and 2018 football world cups. Each time I had a little present for my thirties and fifties with moments of incredible energy during which all the people talk to each other and become buddies. Thank you to the French team.

My youngest daughter tells me that I don't need a special occasion to make conversation with the people around me. I've never considered myself a people person. But for the last four and a half years, if I look closely, I find it quite natural to communicate, both with strangers I just meet and with people I get to know: whether it's during open days in high schools (where I'm in sales mode), during my training courses (we're not going to spend two days in a room with each other) and again when I discover the inhabitants of Bali, who always surprise me. 

When I arrive in a place, it's impossible to focus on anything specific. I have an overview without really seeing anything. I rely more on my feelings. It seems that outwardly I give the impression of a rather haughty and self-confident person. But inside I'm totally lost and looking for reference points. I don't hesitate to give a smile, to say hello. It comes naturally to me. I was brought up like that. I'm tired of these people who are always sulking, who have a blasé look all the time. They exist in France, but also here, on this island of paradise. Faced with such people, I always think of the line from Death on the Nile "you can't catch flies with vinegar". If you want life to smile on you, you have to get off your asses and do your bit.

This afternoon, I attended the fair of the French school in Bali. I went with my daughter and one of her classmates. Unlike before, I was not at all apprehensive about being in the middle of people I have never seen, who do not necessarily speak the same language as me and with whom I have nothing in common. I felt like I belonged and that I was participating in the life of my child's school. I want to support all those people who spend energy to make the walls of a school a place of exchange and shared moments. I smiled, shook hands, bought, discussed and applauded. I remember all this as a moment of social life so precious for my balance, without any stakes. 

I hope to show my daughter the importance of simply exchanging without necessarily expecting something, just to have the feeling of participating in building something.

In addition, I discovered an association that needs volunteers to help the most underprivileged inhabitants by distributing meals, creating gardens, making toys... I think I've just found what I'm going to do some of my mornings; go to this association to help pack the meals that are to be delivered. I want to do something but I hate to make a long-term commitment. I always keep my promises even if it's complicated. So I do as little as possible to do things with desire without losing my smile. I think I've found a new project to expand my circle of trust. It's my daughter.