After the period of confinement due to covid, I make new resolutions. The problem with me is that very regularly I tell myself that I have to change things because I don't live the way I want to. I set myself a precise programme, which becomes less and less ambitious over time, but which is still difficult for me to follow at some point.
In France, in the morning I get up an hour before I leave. I eat a lemon juice on an empty stomach, a green tea, two slices of butter and jam and a handful of dried fruit. I take my time to eat while listening to France infos on the radio (yes, it still exists and it seems that we should all have one in case of disaster). I wash and put on the clothes I prepared the day before (so as not to waste too much time). Then, underground with music according to my mood. The ten-minute walk to my school is devoted to self-confidence-motivation audio. I always arrive about thirty minutes early to drink tea in the still empty courtyard, taking a deep breath, before going on stage with my students and colleagues. In the evening we return home and have a snack that starts light but always ends with plenty of chocolate. My daughter and I talk about our day (I love her school gossip) and after work until at least eleven o'clock and cat grooming before going to bed. I love this routine which forces me to take care of myself.
But since this summer, I've been on my own and I can't follow the programmes I set myself. Meals: when I'm hungry or have the courage to move, otherwise I order. Sport: I bought trainers and two pairs of trousers, which is already a first step. All that's left is to join a gym. We've found out where to go, we'll have to go there. Learning English: I've had a few ideas that didn't work out, but after a lot of trial and error (Duolingo, learning song lyrics) I've finally found something that I think is serious, with a blogger-youTube artist who gives logical advice. I'm super proud because I took a test on her site and I'm between B1 and B2 levels. So for the last two days I've been working on mastering the four tenses and the fifty most used irregular verbs. I'm trying to remember the thousand words and the logical connectors that are most useful. I have also installed the 6 Minute English application which I listen to every day. I'm determined to last a month so that I can really exchange in English. I already don't understand anything in Indonesian so I want to get out of this permanent frustration. Besides, when I get back, I know I won't try to learn again.
Here, making a mistake, having a French accent, is really not serious and you don't feel stupid. In France we don't dare for fear of being judged. It's as if you can only do it when you speak perfectly. It's like running a marathon only when you can run forty-two kilometres. It's stupid but I know it's true. So I have to learn and learn fast. And that I don't give up, which is not easy for me. Let's believe it! It's possible because it's been three months since I started to move around again with ten laps in the pool every day (I know it's an incredible luxury to have your own pool and I'm taking advantage of it), exercises for the "bat" arms (the skin that hangs down when I lift my arms is great!) and others for the deep abs (I'm fed up with seeing this belly hanging down as if it were for an old woman when I bend over). Oh yes, and from time to time I do some meditation. With all this I should be able to compete with Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos and even Dwayne Johnson!
My daughter pointed out to me this morning that no woman in the world is known to have the most capital in business or to be among the most influential people in the world. Why shouldn't this be possible? Is there an age limit to achieve it? Who sets the limits for us? I think it's already ourselves. We have to follow our dreams, stop telling ourselves that it is not reasonable, not possible, too risky. To do this, I think we should not want to talk about it around us. As with everything, it's difficult to make yourself understood. But is it so important to have the approval of others to move forward on our path?
As long as we have the love of those we love, the rest doesn't really matter, does it?
YOU ARE READING
FROM THE NORM TO THE MARGIN
Non-FictionTo tell my life story is to talk about everyone's life, to share our worlds. I prefer to remain hidden in order to open up. Come and discover me through the pages. Perhaps you will also find yourself through my wounds, my doubts and my hope for a...
