FROM THE NORM TO THE MARGIN

The final word.

This will be the last chapter in this compilation of moments from my anonymous human life.

On the afternoon of the 24th of December, my wife accompanied me to the supermarket to do the shopping for the next day's cooking. As we were leaving we realised that we had finished our 4G package so no more internet outside the house. In France this is not really a problem but here we use it daily to get around (among other things). As we absolutely have to go there, between two heavy showers (the rainy season is in full swing) we went crossing our fingers that there would be wifi in the Bintang Market.

We fill two big bags with groceries, impatient to start cooking. It must be said that we don't cook much here, because we're lazy, because we don't have the usual ingredients, but also because ordering or going out to eat doesn't cost more. It's still a mystery to me. On the way out we are delighted because even if it is raining, we are sheltered while waiting for our Gocar which we were able to order by connecting to the shop's network. But little by little we are disappointed; the successive drivers cancel after ten minutes of waiting and it goes on like that for about an hour and a half. You might say to me: why wait so long?

Good question, but you should know that the times indicated on the application are relative, very relative, and if we cancel by ourselves the race is not refunded. Then we are stuck more than half an hour's walk from home with two big bags that weigh a ton each, in a city where the pavements are almost non-existent and it's raining like crazy. All of a sudden a taxi passes us asking if we need a ride (we have a two hour wait, so YES!!!). I rush to his door to tell him to give me the address and he answers that it's ok for him. We rush into the car, relieved because the nerves were starting to get the better of us. I quickly call myself an idiot because I totally forgot to ask for the fare and here the tourists are ATMs on legs so I fear the worst.

We are locked outside, in the rain that continues to fall with our big bags of provisions, trying to find a solution as quickly as possible (we have things to put in the fridge and this is becoming critical). There are days like this when it's better to stay in bed. Fortunately, some guys from the laundromat in front of the house don't hesitate to come and help us. Well, they congratulate us for the second place in the football world cup, which irritates us, but we keep on smiling because we are so relieved that they open the damn door for us.

As soon as I get inside I convince my daughter to go out again before the deluge that is coming, to renew our 4G subscriptions because tomorrow it will be impossible and it is almost vital here, especially for foreigners. Here we are again, exhausted and at the end of our rope. Just as we were coming back, it started to rain heavily. We are in a bad way. On top of that, I've got a headache with the owner who sends me workmen when I'm not at home, whereas I've been waiting all morning for them at the agreed time. And on top of that he takes the liberty of asking me what I'm doing. No, but I have a feeling I'm going to get this one. And when I start to get annoyed he doesn't answer anymore. A real guy.

It is 7.30 pm when we return. We don't have the energy to start baking so we decide to sit down and watch a little Christmas movie first

The tension drops and I realise: all these little glitches were happening to me all the time in France and I always ended up managing. It's not that bad, if I look closely we found all the ingredients we needed as well as a way to get home and help to open the lock of the house. Plus we have internet on our mobiles again. All this to say that finally this day is full of positive events. So why dwell only on the difficulties.

This is what I think the next day when we celebrate Christmas Day with my boy and his friend, far from the rest of my family who I miss. But that doesn't stop me from spending a beautiful day cooking with those I love and who are around me. Life isn't all about exceptional, easy moments with all those we love around us.

I have learnt from writing my story that my life is as I see it and what I do with it. Nothing can make my past disappear, not even distance, it is part of me. It has made me what I am today. But I am worth more than it. I am determined to take it on as a strength and create a future for myself as I have always dreamed of by following my path, even if it requires sacrifices. I decide to be happy by being me.

I wish you to find your path too if you have not already done so.

With all my affection.