Before I would have said I was looking for my other half. Now I find it disturbing to think that you are not complete without the other.
Often when I discover something new it's because my children have advised me to do so. I was able to get into the Marvel universe when science fiction and I are two different things. I've been able to appreciate current French singers (disregarding a certain vocabulary of course) when it's not an area I would have naturally turned to. I followed a first Kdrama with my last one "It's Okay to not be Okay" and I got hooked. I discovered the world of Japanese anime when I find the Japanese culture a bit too rough; I got into it with the movie "Your name", the series "Demon Slayer", "The way of the apron", "Spy family" and just recently "Romantic killer". With this last series, my daughter and I wondered which of the three male characters would suit us best. Since then I've been doing a little soul-searching to figure out what kind of person I might be interested in. I think I'm setting the bar a little high, but at least I won't run into a big loser anymore.
If I sum up all the little romantic films I've ever seen, all the old films I'm fond of. I add to that the Kdramas and the anime heroes and I arrive at the following criteria; sorry Mr Darcy because even if I am a Jane Austen fan, the big dark brown men are not for me. I want simplicity! So first of all I imagine someone taller than me, handsome of course with a slender musculature, classy, very gentlemanly, smiling, decisive.
On another level I would like him to be rich (to be honest I have given away poverty), with whom I can exchange, whom I admire and who admires me in return, with a sense of humour I don't want a half. I want a full person who is with me because they want to be, not because they need someone.
When I arrived in Asia my beliefs about the place of men and women were shaken. I am a feminist at heart; every human being should have the same rights without denying the differences between the two sexes. In France, the most important thing for a girl is to earn a living and be financially independent before anything else. She has to be strong, to lead her life as she wishes. Being in a relationship is the icing on the cake. A boy has to show his frailties, help with household chores, know how to take care of children, consider the woman as his equal in every way. The situation in Asia (as far as I have seen) is totally different. Here women are apparently weak, need a man to defend them. They devote themselves to their family when a child arrives (offspring are essential). They only go out groomed and dolled up. Taking care of their appearance is considered basic. They must appear feminine. Men take on the role of protectors, strong, virile, authoritarian, gentleman.
In what world do I want my daughters to live? What kind of world do I want to live in? Being alone, I realise that I am not made for solitude. I need human contact, exchanges, sharing, solicitation. I want someone to take care of me, to protect me and support me in my choices. I want to question my certainties, to laugh, to experience intense happiness and moments of serene fulfilment.
I can't wait to experience all this. But should I wait for it to happen or should I take action?
Do you know what to do?
YOU ARE READING
FROM THE NORM TO THE MARGIN
Non-FictionTo tell my life story is to talk about everyone's life, to share our worlds. I prefer to remain hidden in order to open up. Come and discover me through the pages. Perhaps you will also find yourself through my wounds, my doubts and my hope for a...
