Not just me & you anymore (G!P)

C. 2 - Maya

Hi everyone!

Thank you so much for your warm welcome.

Here a little chapter for you.

See you soon and happy reading

My mother has been in Italy for five and a half months and I still haven't gotten used to the idea, let alone the presence. The news of her breaking up with my father and that she was about to moving in here drag me into a spiral of emotions so strong and so different among them that sometimes it seemed to me that I was struggling just to stay on my feet. It doesn't surprise me that she was leaving my father, indeed I was finally happy for her. It surprises me the idea of my mother so much willing to revolutionize her life just to get closer to me. For years I was deeply angry with her, because I never felt defended, understood, appreciated and loved by her either. Sure, when it was time to stop them from doing radical surgery on me she stepped in, spoke her mind and won, but that was the only time I felt I mattered to her. After the anger, which distance had somewhat extinguished over the years, I began to feel disappointment and a touch of envy for those who managed to have a healthy and adequate relationship with their parents. Only after Carina and I experienced our first year of love together and then broke up did I begin to understand my mother. I cannot explain what kind of mechanism was triggered in me, but at some point I realized that I was no longer even disappointed, just sad at the idea of not even having the shred of a dialogue with her. I think I forgave her the moment I made the effort to call her, on a winter afternoon, and she burst into tears after the first word. In that first call full of tears, silences, sighs and embarrassment I understood my mother. I understood that for years she had been imprisoned in an unhealthy love relationship, she had been enslaved by it, and only after experiencing love myself, with Carina, did I realize that I could understand her, because before I would not have had the means to understand how love can transform you. I was fortunate enough to be transformed for the better, to have bathed in positivity with my relationship, even if I took into consideration only our first year together, but I realized that the same power of love that had affected me, could affect others in a negative sense, as it did my mother. When she told me she wanted to move to Italy, however, I was afraid: cordial relations, albeit sometimes more friendly and confidential than usual, would have to intensify, phone calls would have to become in-person meetings, and I panicked. Part of me then was deeply worried about my mom: changing continent, state, city, habits, home, language, everything....

I keep walking up and down a living room that I still don't quite feel is mine. There are still some boxes with a few books, some board games and logic games, which I am crazy about and for which Carina never stops good-naturedly teasing me, and some embellishment items that I wanted to take with me that are to be arranged around the living room. For now, we thought it appropriate that my moving in with Carina and Viviana was already more than enough change, but I have already begun to put it into Carina's head that the idea of completely moving house to find one that we could choose, decorate, furnish and fill together would be wonderful. My mother's arrival that practically coincided with this huge change in my life certainly did not help in managing my emotions.

C < love, can you please calm down?> Carina asks me, coming to my back and hugging me from behind. I stop and sigh, while I feel she puts her chin on my shoulder. < it's just a dinner..>

M < an official dinner..>

C < I don't think you have to give her so much explanations, indeed we already live together..> I smile.