Not just me & you anymore (G!P)

C. 37 - Maya

Hi!

Here comes the storm... (and remember in italics are flashbacks). Thank you for reading, always.

See you soon. 

As I was on my way out of the office, I passed Caterina and took the opportunity to make small talk, before giving a quick check of the clock and realizing I had to leave.

M < I'm sorry..> I interrupt her, resting my hand on her arm. < I have to run, but I'll see you later, okay?> I wink at her and slip into the hallway taking the way out, but after just two steps I am brutally stopped by Andrea, who stands in front of me like a hunter in front of his prey and pins me by the shoulders. I look at her a little scared with my eyes wide open.

M < Andy, are you okay? What are you doing? >

A < me? > she whispers, but it's like she's screaming so indignant. < what am I doing? I should be asking you that question!> I really look at her without understanding.

M < what are we talking about?> however, I don't give her time to answer. < Andy, whatever it is can we talk about it later? I have to go..> I manage to take a step, but her words restrain my movement.

A < is it her then? Is it Caterina?>

M < Cate is what...?> I squint my eyes: I'm getting suspicious that Andy is about to suffer some kind of stroke.

A < your lover...is she? > I burst out laughing immediately.

M < my lover? Are you serious?> Andy snorts and grabs me by the wrist, dragging me into my office.

A < don't play dumb. Not with me.. not anymore...!>

M < Andy, I swear to you, I have no idea what you're talking about...!>

A < then let's do this..> she says, putting her hands to her face and taking a deep breath. < I don't want to know anything...don't give me answers if you don't want to, but you have to know that Carina has it all figured out..> at this point I'm even more confused and I'm the one who brakes Andrea's exit.

M < no, now you stop! What are you talking about?! And be clear please!> Andy sighs, but then spills the beans.

A < Carina asked me to meet one day and told me so many things, which I shouldn't share with you, but the summary is that she fears you have an affair...I burst out laughing in her face, but then Carina brought up a series of facts...of facts, Maya. Evidence. Proof. And I began to think she's right..> I close my eyes absorbing her words, leaning back against the desk behind me. Right now my nonverbal communication is making a clear perception of an admission, but that is not the case. Not entirely at least.

M < it's not what it sounds like..>

A < here, I suggest you use a different phrase with Carina..> I just smile, dejectedly.

M < as if there's a phrase that would fit at this point! You have condemned me without even hearing my opinion.>

A < I asked you and you denied the evidence..but that's okay, Maya. I'm not the one you need to talk to..> and so saying she leaves, leaving me alone in the sea of my own guilt and with an appointment that I will definitely be late for, but that perhaps at this point it would be better to cancel.

And that's just the beginning of how I found myself sleeping on this couch, which on the day we bought it didn't seem that uncomfortable. The day we first made love on it didn't seem uncomfortable either. Yet now it seems to be made of thorns and nails. Andy says it's my guilt. Yet there is a part of me that is still deeply and inexorably convinced that I am not to blame at all. The other part of me is the one that instead has turned on the television, albeit without sound, just to have some form of company and feel less of that burning sense of loneliness that assails me to spend a night on the couch, as if I were grounded.