Not just me & you anymore (G!P)

C. 27 - Maya

Here I am, hello everyone!Thanks for continuing to read this and supporting me and my story. I remind you that italics are flashbacks (precisely following chapter 22). 
See you soon!

These last few days have definitely been stressful for me, dividing my time among a hundred thousand things to do, and I imagine that for Carina they have been stressful the double, because to the tasks that in any case concern her is added the burden, and not in a figurative sense, of being in the ninth month of pregnancy. On the one hand she is suffering from not being able to do all the things she used to do, and on the other hand, as the birth approaches, she is beginning to have her first fears. Lately I've been coming in late at night because I'm trying to run around as much as possible with the new house, but I often find Carina still awake in bed because she can't get a good night's rest, can't find a comfortable position, and so we find ourselves chatting, sharing thoughts and fears. It is still a new thing for me, because there is a part of me that will never get used to being so open and free, in relation to another person, respecting my thoughts and feelings. However, I think it's a new thing for Carina as well, specifically with the pregnancy, because she always makes so many comparisons to me about what it was like with Viviana, how lonely she felt and how so now she feels free to be able to share even the smallest detail, which maybe in other circumstances would be superfluous.

Tonight, however, I managed to get home early - relatively early, because Carina and Viviana were already at the table eating dinner - at least I did not miss Viviana's good night for the umpteenth time and especially a quiet evening in Carina's company.

I got up only to check that Viviana was asleep and turn off her light, before returning to the living room, where Carina is lying down watching TV. Or rather, she was lying down. When I come back, in fact, I find her sitting up and seeing her fanning herself with a fan, I think she is hot and uncomfortable, again not being able to find the most comfortable position for her.

M < can I do anything?> I ask, approaching her from behind the couch and resting my hands on her shoulders, trying to give her a little massage and relieve the pressure.

C < will you get me a glass of water, please?> I nod and bend down to kiss her head, before carrying out the order. My feet are bare, but otherwise I still have the pants I've been wearing all day and a shirt: they were already halfway through dinner, I didn't want to miss even more of that convivial moment with a shower.

I return in front of Carina, with the required glass, and only now do I realize that she is wearing a shirt of mine, unbuttoned so much that it almost leaves her breasts free, and not far from her lie a pair of black leggings. I frown, a little confused by her chosen clothes.

M < why are you dressed? > I ask, getting straight to the point. Carina snorts as I sit down next to her.

C < I wanted to look a little pretty for tonight...I knew you'd be back earlier than usual...and instead I look like a cow..> I laugh, leaning in to leave a lingering kiss on her cheek and barely brushing her hair away from her face.

M < don't say that, dummy..>

C < I'm making you feel sorry for me, you're not finding me sexy!> she exclaims. I shake my head and don't respond, taking the remote control in my hand. I have learned that if I get into such a dialectic with Carina, where I try to counter her feeling ugly, fat, dirty and who knows what other adjectives her mind is capable of producing, we don't come out alive. Whatever I say, she has the answer ready to retort and we end up arguing. Always. So I've learned to keep quiet, hoping the bomb will defuse itself. I have tried hard to make her understand that in my eyes nothing has changed, in fact that I find her as exciting as ever, perhaps more so, but my actions do not seem to have convinced her and perhaps not even the words.