Not just me & you anymore (G!P)

C. 30 - Maya

Hi everyone!I'm really sorry/not sorry about the last chapter! I'm here a little earlier than usual with all the news and explanations..and..you'll also find out the little girl's name!Thanks always for your support.See you soon

Thirteen days ago I officially became a mom. Now, in hindsight, I know that nothing could have really prepared me for the moment, but it is also true that I could never have imagined such an odyssey.

For thirteen days I have officially been a mom, but I have not yet experienced a full one with my daughter. Not totally at least. Carina's delivery and subsequent moments have been tumultuous, which is putting it mildly.

Thirteen days ago I barely made it in time to see my daughter's tiny little body emerge from Carina's body and scream at the top of her lungs about her new arrival to life. Immediately after that, I was literally dragged away from Amelia, and I no longer fully understood. I am still not fully aware of what happened in those moments, I only know that Carina had a major hemorrhage and had to stay under the knife for the next two hours. Things then seemed to be on the upswing right away, they tried to get Carina back on her feet right away for a more optimal recovery, and most importantly, they brought our little one to our room.

Holding her for the first time was a unique emotion for me, something I will never be able to explain. And I finally understood what Carina used to tell me, every time she teased me because I read endless books to "prepare" myself for the event and she, between the serious and the facetious, looked at me with the air of a know-it-all, telling me that nothing could ever really prepare me. Of course, she was right. What I did not expect, however, and even that is not in the manuals, is the wave of intense emotion that invaded me the moment Carina picked up our daughter. Seeing her there, sitting in the hospital bed, in her white gown, hair messily gathered and eyes sparkling at the sight of the baby, was something magical. Watching the way our little girl's impossibly small hands wrapped around Carina's fingers, the way her crying immediately subsided as soon as she smelled her mamma... was something amazing to me. And absolutely addictive, like a real drug.

Everything seemed to be going well, the baby immediately attached her sweet little mouth to Carina's breast, and there was absolute regularity and normality in the napping, then in the "squawking goose" crying to demand food, and on and on in a continuous cycle. I spent those first few hours in absolute ecstasy. I could not take my eyes off every little detail unfolding around me: from the magic of breastfeeding, to the delicate features of my sleeping daughter, to the tired but happy features of the beautiful woman of my life.

Then, on the third day, when it would be time to finally go home, everything began to go downhill, toward a possibly irreversible collapse. In the last tests before discharge, they found some values that were a bit off in the little one, which seemed to indicate some infection, the origin of which they could not find. I went into a total tailspin, completely anxious, while Carina did the devil's own thing to be able to remain hospitalized there, so that she was always available for the baby and assisted, even when, fortunately for only 24 hours, they had to take the baby to the ICU.

I was really afraid that I would have to hit rock bottom right after being at the height of happiness. I never believed in God, but suddenly, even though I knew that it doesn't really work that way, I would have been ready to recant, willing to make any kind of vow as long as it led to the resolution of the problem. I didn't go that far, partly because things slowly began to improve, although they still couldn't name this infection that affected the child. Since things stabilized, she and Carina stayed in the hospital one more night to ward off any danger and try to get them to recreate a healthy complicity, which they had never really lost.