My Soldier - Missing Home

Sleepless Nights

A/N ~~ Surprise! Couldn't leave you all waiting too long!

~~ Just want to add a little trigger warning for this Chapter, nothing too serious. Just some threatening behaviour that insinuates abuse towards women. Like I have said numerous of times, this Book is going to include some sensitive topics, but I will warn with a message before anything serious is talked about or explained in anyway.

~~ Please don't think because something may or may not happen, that it is it for this Book. There is a long way to go with this, so don't give up on anything just yet. I promise, it will be worth it.

~~Sunday Night, L.A.~~

Lizzie POV

After hours sitting on the floor, clutching at the phone in my hand as Scarlett tries to talk me away from everything rushing through my mind, I finally mustered the energy to get up and make myself a drink of water. My throat burning with the sobbing and tears over the last couple of hours since talking to Stuart on the phone. The news still not completely sinking in even after I even repeated his words to Scarlett. I know she is as worried as I am by her tone, but she is being the amazing best friend she is and trying to stay calm for my benefit. I want her to be able to talk to me, but even I know right now I just need someone to tell me everything is going to be okay. And thankfully, Scarlett is doing everything she can to try and keep me from spiralling completely. So after Scarlett making sure over and over again that I am okay to be on my own, she had to go and see to Rose. Leaving me to my empty house and wandering thoughts. I tried to dampen the burning in my throat from the relentless crying with some water before going to the bathroom to wash my face, hoping the cold water will help the stinging in my eyes. As soon as I reach the mirror, I can't bring myself to look, knowing how much of a mess I am right now. But how can I even try and hold myself together when the love of my life is missing in another Country, with no way of being able to do anything other than wait. Hoping that someone finds her, or she comes back to me herself. Like she promised me before she left. Oh Harley..

Once I had cleaned myself up a little, composing myself as much as I can, I know I need to eat something, but I have no appetite whatsoever. But then Scarlett's words replay in my head, telling me to take care of myself, making sure I don't spiral so far I lose myself completely. So, I make my way back into the kitchen and try and make something to eat. I pretty much have to force myself into eating enough to keep me going, my finger mindlessly opening and closing apps on my phone as messages come through from those closest to me. I couldn't bring myself to ring anyone else, knowing I can barely hold it together without having to explain everything again. Opting to send a message to Mom, MK, Ashley and Trent to explain everything, adding an apology for not ringing and explaining why I can't bring myself to talk right now. They were all quick to send messages in return, telling me not to be sorry and letting me know they are all here and ready to get the next flight if I need them. I tell them about my plans for travelling to London as I try and give them as much information as possible. I know they all care a lot about Harley, especially Mom, so I want them to know exactly what I do. And then when it gets late, they all tell me to try and get some sleep, knowing I will need as much rest as I can get to keep my energy up. Not wanting to go too much into it, but I know they are all thinking this could take a turn at any moment. So when I said my goodnight's to everyone, including Scarlett, I got myself ready for bed, hoping for any kind of sleep I can get.

Unfortunately, no sleep came easy. I did drift in and out, but as soon as I fell into a deep enough sleep, the dreams that followed were enough to force myself awake. All I can see when I close my eyes is Harley. Some were good, seeing our future together. Seeing how happy we can be. But then the nightmares came, showing me all the things that could happen to her. Seeing her body lying alone, blood and dust. No one able to reach her, no matter what they try. No matter what I try. My thoughts spiral completely as I stay in bed, staring mindlessly at my bedroom ceiling. So many questions running through my mind on repeat, getting worse as the minutes fade into hours. What happened? Who took her? Why did they take her? Where is she? Is she safe? Is she still with the others? Has something already happened to her? is it too late? Question after question tumbling into each other, my eyes watering with burning tears that slowly roll down my cheeks and soak the pillow under my head. My hands clutching at the t-shirt which still smells like Harley. My heart aching, wishing she was beside me, being able to bury my body into hers. Her strong, safe arms wrapping me in a bubble I could stay in forever. I would give anything to be able to feel her heart beating in her chest, telling me she is alive and safe. I'd give anything to know she is okay. Anything to know she is going to come home to me. To see my future in her eyes, looking at me the way she always does. Like I am the only person she truly sees. Her whole World. And that's how she makes me feel. Every minute of every day. The thought of losing My Soldier is too much, I can't lose her. Not now. Not ever.

I dare to take a glance at the time, seeing it has gone past 4 in the morning. Sleep definitely not coming to me tonight. So, I give up, deciding to get out of bed and make some tea. I slowly get out of bed, opting for one of Harley's hoodies to keep me warm as I walk through to the kitchen and make some tea. I can't help but look around, wanting to find Harley standing in the kitchen already making tea. Or getting some water after one of her sleepless nights on the floor. Anything to tell me she is safe. But when I walk into the kitchen, an eery silence throughout my home, it reminds me like a dagger to my heart that the person I love more than anything is still missing. I choke back a sob, gripping the sides of the countertop to stop myself from crumbling at the thought of this being my new reality. Alone without my Soldier. My heart physically hurting just at the thought of something terrible happening to her. I manage to compose myself enough to make a tea, hugging the hot cup between my hands as I take a seat at the kitchen table, not trusting myself to travel too far in the state my body is in. I check my phone, seeing a few messages that I can't bring myself to answer right now, knowing people will worry if I reply at this time of night. So instead, I find myself torturing myself even more when I open my photos, going straight to the album I have named Harley. I go through one by one, smiling on the outside as my heart shatters on the inside. Each time her smile makes my thoughts disappear for a split second until they return even worse than before. The way her eyes hold so much love when she looks at me, the ghost of her hands on the skin across my stomach as she hugs me from behind. Her signature smile she wears only when I am around her across her face, a genuine smile that is saved only for me. And I feel so lucky that I make her smile that way. Only me. Her Girl. I get so lost in the photos that I barely register when a new message comes through to my screen. The name surprising me as I reluctantly come away from look at the photos and open the message fully.

"Are you awake?"

I look over the message again, not knowing what to think as I look at who sent it to me. Tom? Why is Tom messaging me at this time, wanting to know if I am awake? Surely nothing has happened. He would call, right? I fumble with my slightly trembling hands to lift the phone from the table, holding it securely as I send a reply. I'm awake. I couldn't sleep. Is everything okay? Are you okay? I send the reply, nervously waiting for anything in return to settle the growing anxiety in my chest. But before I get any sign of a response, my whole body jumps at the sudden sound of my doorbell. I check the time again, seeing it's nearing 5am. Who could possibly be at my door at this time? My thoughts are so scattered I can barely function long enough to gather myself from the kitchen table to at least look at who is at the door. I clutch my phone in my hand, not knowing what to expect as I wrap myself with Harley's hoodie with my other hand, walking towards the front door. I step quietly, choosing not to turn on any lights just yet before knowing who is at my door. When I reach the door, I lean up slightly to see through the small peephole. My eyes soon finding a smaller figure at my door. Instantly, even in the dim lighting, I can easily make out the figure as Tom. My body relaxing knowing it is someone I know well, even if it is 5 in the morning. I slip my phone into my pocket before unlocking the door. As soon as I do, my eyes study Tom as he remains in his spot, his body nothing like his usual bubbly self. His shoulders are slumped forward, head hanging down slightly until I completely open my door and he raises it just enough for me to see how exhausted he is. His eyes are puffy, red and bloodshot. Dark circles under them as his breathing seems to be heavy and drawn out. He's been crying, beyond upset. No doubt about the same reason I have been a mess all night. After all, the love of my life is also his cousin and Best Friend.

"Tom?" I ask gently, seeing his eyes searching everywhere around us. Unsure on what to do or say. Nothing like the Tom I know and love. He's usually wrapping me in a huge hug by now, bouncing on his feet before he lets himself into the house as if he lives here. I don't like this version of Tom, it's not him. Clearly he is hurting, and needs someone who understands. "Hm? Oh, sorry, I um." Tom stumbles over his strained voice as he tries to make any sense. But nothing comes and I know he is just as lost as I feel about all this. "Come on in Tom, I was just about to make some tea." I encourage him, seeing his eyes brighten ever so slightly at my invitation. "Thank you, Liz. Tea sounds nice." He manages to reply, a ghost of a smile on his face as I stand to one side and bring him inside. As I close and lock the door, Tom slips off his shoes and jacket before I lead him towards the kitchen. "Have a seat Tom, I have some Yorkshire tea if you'd like some?" I offer, seeing him smile a little wider before it quickly shifts to the realisation of why I have those tea bags. "Harley's favourite." He whispers, but I catch it. Seeing his eyes gloss over. Fuck. "I'm sorry I-" I begin to stumble now, but before I can, Tom quickly re-composes himself as best he can and smiles in my direction. "I'd love some. Thank you, Lizzie." I smile and nod softly in his direction before busying myself in making us both some tea. When they are done, I bring both mugs over to the table, sliding Tom's to him. He thanks me again, hugging the mug in his hands as I sit down with him. A small, comfortable silence falls between us as we just seem to be gathering our thoughts. I find my eyes glancing between my tea and Tom, seeing his eyes filling with tears threatening to fall before he blinks them away as best he can. My heart aching all over again seeing him this way, knowing Harley would hate the both of us being this way.

A few minutes pass, a few sips of tea later and I can't bare seeing Tom holding all this back anymore. As much as I am breaking apart, I need to be here for Tom in Harley's place. Knowing she is who Tom turns to when he needs someone. I look up from my tea, seeing Tom lost in his thoughts before gently breaking the silence. "Talk to me Tom. Please, don't hold it in." I offer softly, gaining his attention and snapping him from his thought train. He quickly wipes his eyes, attempting to shake away his emotions before looking over in my direction with the ghost of his signature Tom Holland smile. "I just did not expect to get news like this about her. I still don't know what to think." He finally gathers his voice enough for me to understand, his tone still strained and unsure. "None of us expected this, Tom. But we need to stay positive. Stay strong for her." I try and comfort him, but his eyes glossing again let me know he is holding something back. But before I can try and get him open up, he does. "I can't lose her Liz." My heart shatters at his words, how his voice cracked at his admission. A tear finally slipping past his eyes and rolling down his cheek. I quickly reach over the table, gripping his free hand to comfort him and myself. "We aren't going to lose her Tom. It's Harley. She's going to come home to all of us. We just need to be here when she does." I add, squeezing his hand as he nods his head gently in silent agreement, I hope. He squeezes my hand back as we just share a moment, letting some tears fall. Both of us needing this time to just let it out. Together.

"Have you heard anything more from anyone?" Tom asks once we both try and compose ourselves as best we can, finishing our tea but not making any effort to move from the table. "I just had a few messages checking in, but nothing more on Harley yet." I tell him, seeing him nod slowly in reply. "Stuart said you are flying to London?" Tom asks further, seeming to want to keep the conversation going between us. A distraction maybe. "Yeah, I'm going to make some arrangements and fly as soon as I can. I need to be there for Maisie and Stuart." I add, making him smile a little more genuinely at my words. "That's sweet of you Liz. Maisie will feel a lot better having you with her through all this." I smile at his words now, cementing I am doing the right thing by going to London. "I'll be back in London as soon as I can be. Stuart told me not to worry but I just, I need to be in London, no matter what happens." I can see the pain in his eyes, knowing he hates being tied to work right now. But it's probably for the best that he is busy, until we know more. "I know Tom. But Stuart is right, stay busy, just until we know more. It will help." I add, making him nod slightly in reply, hopefully agreeing with my words. Another small silence fills the room as the first rays of sunrise start to shine through the window. But right now, time is not something I am worrying about. And Tom seems to feel the same as he checks his phone when is buzzes on the table. I give him some privacy, taking our empty cups and deciding on making some coffee as I make Tom another tea. I hear him tapping on his screen before the quiet comes back.

"When was the last time you heard from her?" Tom breaks the silence again. His question catching me a little by surprise as I sit back at the table. I see his eyes a little wider with hope as he looks in my direction. No doubt hearing this will give him some comfort, hopefully. I think back to our last conversation, instantly a smile breaking out across my face as tears fill my eyes. Tom seems to panic a little, reaching over for my hand as he sees me getting upset. "I'm sorry Liz, I shouldn't have-" He starts to ramble, but I gently stop him and smile more. "It's okay Tom. They are mostly happy tears." I comfort him, making him sigh a little as he relaxes slightly, my hand still in his as I gather my thoughts hoping not to cry again. "The last time we spoke on the phone, she was telling me about the day she had. She sounded upset and exhausted. I was worried about her not sounding herself, but then when she told me what she had done, I was beyond proud of her." I begin to explain, seeing Tom completely focused on what I was telling him. "She had delivered a baby girl at the Medical Centre." Tom's eyes widen in shock, but a small smile also crosses his lips at my words. "A young girl was found just outside the Medical Centre. She was carried inside, and Harley instantly got her into a room. She then quickly discovered the girl was in labour, and with Natalia's help, she delivered the baby girl." I can't help but beam with pride as I tell Tom the story, his eyes shining with adoration for his best friend. But then my smile starts to fade as I think about Harley's words from that phone call. My heart shattering for the millionth time tonight.

"What is it, Liz?" Tom asks softly, squeezing my hand as he sees my change in expression. "Harley then started to talk about wanting children, something we had talked about before, but this time she sounded so sure and excited about the idea of having a family with me. Making me so fucking happy Tom." I finally break again, tears streaming down my face as I replay her words in my head, hearing her excitement all over again. And knowing that there is a chance that our future has been taken away from us if she doesn't come home to me safe and alive. Tom jumps from his seat, kneeling beside me and wrapping his arms around me. Both of us now sobbing as reality hits both of us all over again. "I can't lose her either Tom. I won't survive without her." I sob into his shoulder, feeling his arms tighten around my body for comfort. "We won't Lizzie. She'll come home. She will." His words sounding almost desperate as we just find the smallest comfort in each other. Both of us missing and hurting about the same person, someone who means so much to both of us. Making us family right now. So, we spend another hour or so, hugging and talk about what we can bare to talk about before Tom needs to go and get ready for work. As much as I try to argue, telling him to take the day, I understand why he wants to be on Set with people he can confide in. I watch him drive away, telling him to text or call whenever he needs to before coming back inside myself and clearing away the cups from the kitchen. My body feeling completely drained but still not enough to try and sleep. Instead of even trying, I decide on getting a start on packing for my stay in London. Not knowing how long my stay will be, but having a feeling it's not going to be a short visit.

I lose all sense of time as I pack my suitcase, taking my time as I fold and organise everything in front of me. Thankfully, it's bound to be a bit warmer in London, so I don't have to pack as much in terms of layers. I make sure to pack some of my favourite hoodies anyways, some of them being Harley's anyways. I am nearly finished with my suitcase already before hearing my phone ringing on my bed. My body using any strength it has left to jump off the floor, not wanting to miss any phone call. I scramble to grab my phone, holding my breath as I look down at the screen. That breath quickly releasing when I see who it is calling. "Hey Mom." Instantly I feel my voice breaking as I sit on the bed gently, hearing my Mom's soothing and comforting voice already enough to bring me to tears. "Oh sweetheart, you sound so tired. Have you had any sleep?" She can always see right through me, even when she can't see me. My lip quickly being pulled between my teeth as I try and hold back my tears before having to say something. "Not really." I mumble, hearing her sigh softly into the phone. "Oh Liz, you need to try and get some rest. I know it's hard, but you need to take care of yourself right now." She quickly comforts, and I know she is right, but it's just too hard to see her when I close my eyes. "I know Mom. It's just so hard, and I can't not think about her." I admit truthfully, knowing I need to be honest with the people around me. Especially now. "I can't begin to imagine how hard this is for you Lizzie. But Harley would hate for you to be struggling this way, she would want you to be taking care of yourself. No matter how hard it is." She adds and I know she is right. She always is. Especially when it comes to a serious situation like this one. "I know, but I just, I need her to be okay Mom. I can't, I just can't." I ramble, but my Mom seems to understand as she just listens to my teary words. "Liz, honey, take a breath for me sweetie." Mom gently stops me, and I do as best I can. Breathing slowly as I can feel my eyes stinging beyond anything I have felt before. But having people around me, people that care about me and want to be there for me, makes me feel like I will get through this. for my sake, and Harley's.


24th June, 2019

~~Day 52, Nigeria~~

Normal POV

23 hours. That's how long we have been in this Cage. I can see everyone is exhausted, but we have not been given time to even try and sleep. Any of us. So, it has been a long nearly 24 hours. Not only are we all on high alert, not knowing what is going to happen, but the constant presence of these "guards" banging and shouting abuse at us is making it impossible to have time to relax. And as much as we know this is all a way of trying to intimidate us, it doesn't make it any easier not to react to it. All four of us sitting unable to settle our constant adrenaline and tense bodies. Thankfully, they have been giving us water and a small amount of food. Enough to keep us alive. Nothing more. They don't like us talking, so checking in on my small team is impossible. Right up until we seem to get a small break in the shouting and presence of people outside. A now strange silence coming over all of us, eyes searching as if not to believe it. We catch the sound of engines driving away, but distant voices let us know we are not alone. We seem to wait a few minutes before I turn and finally ask if everyone is okay. Everyone nodding in reply, giving a small yes as I see Natalia fighting to not fall asleep there and then. "Jones. Get some sleep whilst you can. Guys, you to. I'll stay awake for now, don't worry." I see them all try and protest, until Natalia and Kai cannot fight it any longer. They get as comfortable on the floor as they can, lying close to where I am still sitting with Tyler before they soon fall asleep. "Tyler, get some rest, seriously I don't mind." I try again, but he just shakes his head softly and moves over to sit by my side. "It's all good Lane. I'm not feeling too tired yet." I smile and nod, not wanting to force him into anything, and thankful for the company. We stay quiet, letting the Natalia and Kai fall into a deep sleep before I turn to Tyler to properly check in with him. "How are you doing Tyler? Truthfully." I add, making him shift a little uncomfortably before he sighs, eyes still trained on the floor. "I can't help but think about her, you know. At home, terrified about where I am and if I am coming home." He begins, talking about his Wife but not daring to mention a name, just in case anyone is listening to us. "We uh, we have news we wanted to share with everyone when we finished the Tour. But right now, I don't know if-" I stop him gently, not wanting him to slip into that way of thinking. "We're getting out Tyler. We're going home. Alive." I add, making him nod and smile softly before he continues. "I know but, you know, anything can happen. So why wait, right?" He jokes, making us both laugh quietly between ourselves as he nudges my shoulder.

"Well, are you going to make me wait much longer or do I need to wake the others?" I joke after a few moments of quiet, seeing Tyler stuck in his thoughts again. He chuckles, making me smile as he shakes his head in reply. "Nah, let them sleep." He adds, making me groan in annoyance. "Alright come on, I'm getting old over here!" I whisper yell, making him just laugh again before he finally gives in. "Alright, alright. Well, let's just say there may be a Tyler Junior on the way." He whispers, and it takes everything in me not to jump up and celebrate. "No way! Tyler that's amazing! Congratulations." I whisper yell again, now beaming over as I pull Tyler into a hug. I feel him chuckle as he hugs me back, squeezing me tightly before we part again. "Thanks Cap. I can't for him to meet his badass Auntie's and Uncle's." He teases, making me chuckle along with him in excitement. "So, you already know?" I question, but he just laughs a little more shaking his head in reply. "Not yet, but I have a feeling." He adds, and I can't help but shake my head laughing. We talk more about how far along his wife is, seeing him almost swooning over the unborn baby already just takes me back to my conversation with Lizzie. Being excited over the idea of being in his shoes one day, seeing the smile on his face as he talks about everything. It's nice to be able to escape the hell we find ourselves in, just for a moment, before we quickly get pulled back to reality when a heard of guards suddenly start shouting from outside the Cage. Instantly my head snaps up, along with Tyler's, seeing at least 4 or 5 people standing against the Cage starting to scream at us all. Natalia and Kai are abruptly woken up, both of them jumping up from their sleep as they snap into action. They find us behind them, all of us now on our feet in a defensive stance as the voices rise in volume. Then once they know they have all of our attention, the words become vile. "Wait until we get our hands on you! We will do everything to you!" "Look over here pretty girl!" "Don't be shy!" Instantly I pull Natalia behind me, knowing that it is her they are pointing towards.

I keep myself protectively in front of Natalia as the guys come to my sides. The vulgar words spilling into the Cage as I feel Natalia tensing up, grabbing the back of my top to try and protect herself. "MOVE! We want to see the girl!" "Just wait until we are done with you all! Your first pretty girl!" I can't help but cringe at their words, knowing that Natalia will be feeling even worse behind me. So I try and protect her as best I can, with the help of Kai and Tyler. My heart now pounding in my chest as the lock of the door keeps shaking with the force of the guards hitting the door, trying to get as close as they can to us. my worst fear is having to fight our way out of this, but I know I am never letting them lay a hand on Natalia, or any of the team behind me. Over my dead body will any of them get hurt. The shouting continues until an even louder voice booms down from behind them, causing them to disappear one by one. When they are all gone, I finally relax a little, turning around to check on Natalia. I turn around, feeling her slowly letting go of my top as I do. As soon as I meet her eyes, I can see the tears threatening to fall, the fear behind them breaking my heart. I hate seeing someone so strong being broken down like this. I need to try and keep her strong, but anyone hearing what we just did would be the same. Wanting to be anywhere else but here. Which only makes me even more protective of all of them, knowing we need to get out of here. "Talk to me Jones." I whisper, my hands on her arms as I see her breathing become heavy and slightly erratic. "I'm okay Lane." She replies shakily, not convincing me one bit, but I know she is trying to stay as strong as she can be. "Just breathe. No one is going to hurt you. I promise you." I reassure her gently, making her slowly nod her head in reply as she blinks away her tears. I wipe the few that fall from her cheeks, feeling her breathe in deeply as I do. "We're getting out of here Natalia." I add, making her smile ever so softly as I rub my hand up and down her arm comfortingly before we all move to sit down again, drinking some water and falling into a small silence as we all get lost in our thoughts again.

After a few hours, getting some small breaks between the shouting and screaming, we get another longer break. Tyler takes his turn to sleep, Kai trying to get me to join him but there is no way I can sleep right now. So, Kai ends up getting a little more sleep, putting up some protest before his body gives in. I make sure to get Natalia to eat and drink something before we sit and just take a moment. But as soon as I hear Natalia's breathing become heavy, I know she is trying not to get upset. I quickly turn to her beside me, offering her my hand to take. She doesn't hesitate, squeezing it tightly as her eyes stay on her lap. "Talk to me Natalia. Don't bottle it up." I say softly, letting her know I am here. I catch her look over at the guys on the floor before she takes a breath and then begins to talk. "I'm scared Harley. I shouldn't be, but I am fucking terrified. I'm scared I'm not making it home-" Her voice cracks, tears falling as she slumps forward slightly. I quickly pull her towards my shoulder, letting her find comfort as she cries almost silently. her hand now tugging at my sleeve as she struggles to hold it all in anymore. I wrap my free arm around, hating seeing this side of her. No one should feel like this, but it does come as a risk with the job. It happens more than people realise. But we need to just stay strong and trust in each other to make it through. "I know it's hard, but I promise you, we are all going home. We'll get through this, together." I comfort her as best as I can, holding her as she cries it all out. But the sound of Natalia's cries seem to trigger the thoughts I have tried to ignore in my head. Knowing that Lizzie will be home, getting upset and worked up over knowing by now that I am missing. The thought of her being upset kills me. Not only Lizzie, but Dad, Maisie, Tom. Anyone I hold close being upset and worried about me. Not knowing if I am safe. I don't want anyone to worry about me, I just wish I could reach out and tell them I am okay. Tell Lizzie I love her and will keep my promise. But for now, I just have to try and stay strong. Not only for myself, but for my team, and for everyone at home. So I can make it home.

No matter what, I'm coming home to you. I promise.