My Soldier - Missing Home

Something's Not Right Here

A/N ~~ I want to say again how sorry I am for the wait for this Chapter.. Life is just, crazy and busy and challenging right now so finding the time to sit and get into the mindset to write has been hard. Especially since I have always written longer Chapters to most, it becomes difficult to write a full Chapter in one sitting.. 
  But! here we are.. another Chapter is here and I hope you all enjoy it!

Also, I can't believe we are in December already! This time last year I was in one of the worst states emotionally after the passing of my Dad.. but this year I am working so incredible hard to make the Holidays Special with those closest to me. 

If anyone struggles at this time of year, just so that you are not alone and there are people who will always love you no matter what. My  messages are always open and I will do what I can to help anyone who needs it. it's the least I can do since everyone who supports me with my writing have helped me through my dark times.. For that I am so thankful.

  Anyway.. let's get into it shall we?


18th May, 2019

~~Day 15, Nigeria~~

Normal POV

It's been two weeks since 7 Section arrived in Nigeria. As we had planned, our first few days were spent training with the local troops to get an understanding on their level of training and abilities. We ran some basic exercises, all of us being partnered up with some of the local Soldiers to help them through our usual routines and they were surprisingly very eager to learn everything we went through. It didn't take long though for a few of the Soldiers to have a problem working with myself and Natalia, but thankful our training and a gentle nudge from the other guys made sure that it wasn't a problem for long. After a few days of training at the Base, I took Natalia and we started on teaching some of the Soldiers some basic first aid. Knowing how essential this can be for any Soldier, not just medics, we offered the training to anyone who wanted to learn. I could see some hesitation, but once a few of the guys got involved, more followed. It felt good seeing the majority of the local Soldiers taking part in a female-lead exercise, especially one so important to keeping each other alive at any time or place. We ended up spending more than just a couple of days on the first aid training, going more and more in depth in some of the training since the group wanted to take away as much as they could from what we could offer. Thankfully, Charlie was more than happy for us to continue on for as long as we needed to so we could cover everything and get them pretty much fully First Aid Qualified. Spending so much time doing this meant we were a couple of days late for travelling down to one of the medical centres nearby, but it was something we were happy to be late for. So for the last couple of days, myself, Natalia and some of 7 Section have been travelling to the nearest Medical Centre with some much needed supplies and seeing what they need from us down there. When we first arrived, we were met by a not so happy Doctor named Abu. He was tall, strongly built and spoke near enough perfect English. When he learnt of two British Soldiers coming to lend a hand, he admitted he was happy for the help. But as soon as he found out it was in fact two female Soldiers, he felt very differently, which quickly became a barrier in itself.

"Ready for day 4 with the happy Doctor?" Natalia jokes between us four in the truck. Today we have Kai driving with myself, Natalia and Jake. I have been trying to keep my group small so Charlie has more hands to work with the Soldiers back at Base since they are running some weapons drills, so four of us is more than enough to be at the Centre. "Now, now Jones.. Be nice." Jake teases back, making us all laugh as we watch the locals wave up at us in the Truck, kids running to track us down the winding roads. I love to see how neutral kids always are, no matter where we go in the World. Even when they see the Uniform, they don't judge or back off. They are just too excited for new faces and funny accents. I can't help but get lost in my thoughts watching out of the window, wondering what will happen if Lizzie and I ever have kids together. It's deffinently something I would be open too, but where would we raise them? The idea of raising kids in L.A is daunting. It's always so busy and intrusive. And being away from Dad and Maisie would kill me.. But would we make it work if we moved to England together to settle down? I start to spiral before being jolted slightly forward as Kai pulls up beside the Medical Centre. Suddenly, my mind shoots to my Captain head, not my home head. "Alright guys, same routine as always, unload the truck and take the boxes straight through to the office at the back of the building. Full Uniform at all times unless I say otherwise. Jake your with me today, Kai your with Jones. Everything comes through my radio understood?" I turn as the three of them reply in unison. "Yes Captain Lane." I give them the nod and we all disembark from the truck and gear up before grabbing some boxes and heading inside. The main room is already pretty full of people recieving treatment from Volunteers who have basic medical training at best so it's mainly just cuts and bruises here. Doctor Abu is situated in his usual office to treat anyone with anything more than a minor injury. He is the main source of medication to the locals of this village so he is always very busy. Maybe a little too busy for my liking. Ever since we started coming here, I have noticed a few things that don't sit right with me. But for now, I want to concentrate on helping as many people as I can before looking into anything further.

"Good Morning Doctor." I greet Doctor Abu once I manage to catch him between patients. He gives me his usual grunt in reply as he shuffles through the paperwork in his hands. I hand him the list of medicines and supplies we have brought with us today for him to look over and sign, but as always, it is disregarded on his desk. I hold back my tongue as I silently scold him before clearing my throat and following beside him back towards his office. "Is there anything you need from us today Doctor?" I ask in the politest voice I can force out as he scoffs and shakes his head. "Treat people." Is all he says before calling another patient into his office and closing the door behind him and a nervous looking Women. My gut telling me something that I know I need to look into, but my mind is quickly pulled away from those thoughts as I hear Jake calling for me in the other room. I quickly rush to find him, and I am quickly met by a slightly panicked looking Soldier helping a man onto a bed. I grab some gloves and a overall on my way to them, seeing a very obvious gash on his upper leg which is also very clearly infected by lack of treatment. I do a quick first glance of the man, seeing his pale skin and trembling hands. I take my bag from Jake's hand and find what I need to do a further examination. I check his blood pressure, temperature and oxygen levels, telling me his infection needs treatment without hesitation. "Jake, I need some anti-biotics and fluids." I quickly give Jake the nod as the man looks to me as I move to look at the gash on his leg. "Do you speak any English Sir?" I ask towards the Man lying infront of me. I glance up and he gives me a small nod, letting me know I can communicate with him without one of the volunteers around. "Great. Can you tell me your name and age?" I go through some routine questions, and get the answers I need as I examine the gash on his leg. "Okay that's great Ebulu. Now, can you explain how this happened?" I ask and he nods softly before wincing a little as I press around his reddened skin. "I fell fixing my home, onto a broken piece of wood." He explains and I nod my head to let him know I am listening. "Did any wood stick into your leg?" I ask further, finding out that he removed some pieces himself, but there may well be some left in his leg, possibly the cause of the infection initially.

"Thank you Jake." I take the medication from Jake's hands as he takes his place by my side to lend a helping hand if I need him as his eyes glance down at the mans leg. "Okay Sir, I am going to put you onto some fluids and anti-biotics to help fight your infection before I clean and stitch your leg. Is that alright?" He gives me a confident nod in reply as Jake helps him get comfortable laying back on the bed. I set up he drip into his arm before feeding in the fluids and then giving Jake the anti-biotics to administer. I grab everything I need before moving down to his leg and begining to clean the cut. I end up removing at least 7 pieces of stray wood before cleaning and stitching his leg together. It takes a little while, but eventually I manage to wrap his leg and clean myself up before coming back to see he is asleep on the bed. I check him over, already seeing an improvement before writing everything down for the volunteers to keep up with medication and fluids for him. "Good job Lane." Jake pats my shoulder, giving me a small smile as I grab my bag and we move to the next patient. This goes on for a few hours before we stop for a quick bite to eat together and then continue our day. I can't help but notice more and more women coming into the centre to see Doctor Abu. Each one looking nervous and constantly looking around as they arrive. Each time my gut is telling me something is going on behind that closed door. Just as I finish with my patient, I get cleaned up before noticing Natalia watching the same office door I have been all day. A look behind her eyes letting me know she is noticing what I have. I leave Jake to finish signing the paperwork as I subtly move over to stand beside Natalia as yet another women leaves the office without any visible injury. "What's that look for Jones?" I ask her quietly as I pick up some paperwork to "read" over by her side. "She has got to be the sixth women I have seen leaving his office with no sign of treatment or injury.." Natalia begins to say as she treats her patient's cut to her head. "..Looking very nervous as she does." I finish her sentence, earning a nod from my medic. "Something's not right Harley.."

I can't ignore the feeling growing in my gut at Natalia's words. I give her a subtle nod before returning to Jake and looking over his paperwork before we start to clear things away. Thankfully, there are no more patients right now so we can clean up and start to look into what is needed for tomorrow. I send Jake off to the stock room to count the supplies as I check over everything in the main room between checking in with the volunteers and patients. I manage to subtly make my way towards Abu's office, waiting to see if he is leaving for the day like usual. And as if on cue, I catch him leaving his office. Papers in hand with a bag in the other as he makes his way towards the main doors and leaves like every other day. According to Charlie, he leaves to go home for a few hours, to eat and sleep until he comes back to stay over night before a relief Doctor takes over until the early hours of the morning. As soon as I hear his car engine, I make my way towards his office, glancing around to make sure no one sees me before I check his door. And just as I expected, locked. But my time in the Army gives me some tricks that not everyone knows, so I slip out my pocket knife and make quick work of the lock. 3.. 2.. 1.. Click. I nod in victory, hearing the door click open as I slip my knife back into my pocket and let myself inside. Not without glancing behind me once more. Once inside, I close the door and then quickly search for anything out of the ordinary. I find some scattered papers, nothing important, but I search them none the less. I then move to some of the draws in his desk, finding old prescriptions and supply lists which instantly make me groan knowing he is not amazing at his job. Not that I didn't know that already. I then come across the last draw, and as soon as I pull it open, I hear something different from the rest. Instantly I check for why it sounds different, and lucky for me, the bottom of the draw comes loose with one gentle nudge. Once I lift the fake bottom, I come across some more interesting looking papers. I quickly pull them out, glancing over the statements to see why they are put away so discreetly. "...Prescription for.. Emergency Contraceptive Pills.." I read on, finding blank scripts for the same medication, as well as some unofficial receipts that seem to be to hide the amount of medication are being given. This is not good. I knew.. "Lane?"

I jump a little hearing someone else in the room, not hearing the door open behind me as I was reading. I look up and see Natalia watching me closely with the door already closed behind her. I let out a sigh in relief as I lower the papers slightly and give her my full attention. "What is it Lane?" She asks, glancing down at the papers, seeming to be able to read my mind that I have found something. I glance over her shoulder, making sure the door is shut still before waving her closer. "Take a look, see what you think." I hand her the papers, letting her see for herself, as well as seeing what she makes of them as well. Something I have always been a believer in is a second opinion is never a bad thing, especially in situations like this could be. I give her a minute to glance over everything before she looks up from the papers and already I can see in her face that she is thinking the same as me. "He's forging scripts and selling medication.." She both states and asks, wanting to know if I agree or not. I nod my head in reply as she hands me the papers back. "It looks like it." I add and she starts to pace back and fourth. "Why those pills?" She questions out loud, but at a low volume so no one else can hear. I don't want to presume, but I have seen this before in other Countries. And it is never good. "Let's get packed up and head for the truck." I decide, not wanting to risk being seen. Natalia quickly nods in agreement, catching on quickly before she leaves first as I take some pictures of the papers on my phone and then return them to where I found them. Once everything is back in order, I leave the room with some spare scripts so no one suspects I was in there for no reason. Thankfully, I manage to lock the door before I leave so when I pull it shut, it locks behind me. Once I gather everything together and make sure everything is done for the day, we say our goodbyes and head for the truck. It doesn't take long for Kai to get us going on our journey back to Base. As soon as we are away from the Centre, I turn and see Jake and Natalia watching me for answers. "Usually when these types of pills are involved, it means young girls are getting pregnant out of marriage or being forced into it.." I begin as I explain my experiences with things like this. All three of them listen closely as we drive back to Base, each of us hoping this is not the case, but knowing it's still not good no matter which way it ends up.


~~Tuesday, L.A.~~

Lizzie POV

"Alright everyone, take 5 whilst we move a few things and re-set."

As I am walking towards the coffee machine, I find my mind just wandering. 3 weeks. That's how long it has been since I seen Harley in person. I can't lie, it's been hard. I have never been so up and down emotionally. One minute I find myself relishing in being able to focus completely on my work, but then as soon as I see or hear something that reminds me of Harley my mood comes crashing down. I miss the little things. The subtle touches and sweet words. I adore how much Harley has changed my life for the better and how amazing she makes me feel, but at the same time when she is not here it is a blessing in disguise whilst she is gone and I miss that feeling only she can give me. Thankfully, we have managed to talk on the phone a few times and Harley has been telling me about her time in Nigeria. I love hearing her talk about her job and what she does day to day. As much as I haven't enjoyed hearing how she and Natalia have been treat differently being females, I know by her voice she is not affected by it one bit. She keeps reasurring me it's not the first time this has happened and she knows how to work with it, and from our last phone call she is deffinently doing that. I am so fucking proud of her for being able to teach everyone life saving First Aid and then got them all to learn on field basics as well. She is beyond amazing at what she does, I just wish she could see it for herself sometimes. But instead, it gives me the opportunity to boast about her to everyone at home whenever I am on the phone or see everyone at work. I love being able to gush about her and what she is doing, and I love how everyone close to me is so supportive of her as well. It's ended up being a morning routine on Set lately, since everyone is so invested in her work and what she does I end up relaying everything Harley tells me either on the phone or in her texts to the cast and crew on Set when I get to work on a morning. In a weird way, it almost feels like she is with me when everyone talks and asks about her, it's comforting in a way. It lets me know she is still with me, even though she is physically thousands of miles away. But that still doesn't stop the worry and nightmares..

As much as I want to stop worrying about her, I can't. Memories of Harley's last Tour and what happened is a constant reminder that anything can happen when she is with 7 Section. It's scary to think that at any moment I could lose her. I did some research into Nigeria and the risks she might face, even though I shouldn't have. And what I found was not comforting at all. Some of the extremist groups have done some awful things to outside forces, going as far as killing anyone they see as a threat. So knowing Harley will be seen as an even bigger threat in her Uniform is a constant fear in my mind. I want to be able to trust her training and I know her team are always protecting each other, but no one knows what can happen at any time. Unlike last time, I have been really open with my thoughts to the people I trust, so whenever I get too overwhelmed I ring someone to try and settle those thoughts. Most of the time, it is Scarlett or my Mom I ring, but on occasions I have spoke with the Twins and even Tom. It's been a relief to know everyone is here for support, even Stuart and Maisie have been texting with me to check in and make sure I am doing okay since it is so hard to call with the time difference and their work and School schedules. Having so much support and a lot of work to do has meant that I have had less time to overthink than last time Harley was on Tour, but those moments do take it out of me. Kelly and Janet have been my little saving graces on Set, always keeping me busy and my mind occupied. I adore both of them so much and I am so lucky to be able to work with them again, as well as the rest of the cast. The crew have also been incredible with helping to teach me all that goes on behind the camera since I am more involved in the production side of things this time around. And I am loving every second of it. Being able to explore Leigh as a character is becoming one of my favourite things in acting ((besides from playing Wanda, obviously!)) And instead of dwelling into the emotions of missing Harley privately, I am trying to use them to help my character development of Leigh and her missing Matt. As much as grief and distance is two completely things, the emotions are familiar and therefore easy to use and push into my work.

For the rest of the day on Set, I find my mind wandering more and more to Harley and wondering what she is doing. I know she is now working in one of the nearby Medical Centres with Natalia and different guys from 7 Section, which is where she can do the most help on Tour. I love hearing her talk about how many people she treats and helps on a daily basis in those Centres, but hearing some of the injuries she treats is terrifying. Knowing these people don't have much help and end up trying to treat themselves with some horrible injuries, it makes me so proud to know she is doing everything she can to help people. But then again, I don't expect anything else, that is what Harley does best. She takes care of everyone close to her, no matter what. She is so selfless. After finishing for the day, I picked up some dinner before driving home and taking out my laptop to continue working as I eat. Something that has become a routine everyday. The longer I can work, the better it is for my wandering mind. I get lost in my laptop screen after finishing my dinner that I lose all track of time until I hear my phone beginning to ring. I quickly look over, hoping it is Harley ringing but my eyes widen slightly when I see a different name on my screen. I glance over at my laptop screen, searching for the time as I reach for my phone with my hand to answer it. As soon as I answer the phone, I place it to my ear and hear the softest voice on the other side of the call greeting me with the gentlest Hello. "Hey Maisie.." I reply just as softly, hearing a slight shuffle down the phone before she says anything further. "Is it okay that I rang you?" I can't help but pout at the softness to Maisie's voice, she is usually so strong and confident, just like Harley that I am not used to hearing her like this. "Of course it is, I promised you could ring me anytime." I quickly comfort her, almost hearing her smile down the phone. "But isn't it really late in London right now?" I remember, checking the time again on my laptop screen and seeing it must be at least 2am in London right now. "It's nearly 3am." Maisie admits a little timidly, making me laugh softly. What a little rebel, I wonder where she gets that from..?

"So how come your not tucked up in bed asleep?" I ask gently, not wanting to force her to talk about whatever is clearly bothering her to stop her from sleeping, but wanting to let her know that I am here for her to talk too. "I can't sleep.." She admits quietly, a hint of emotion to her voice. I decide on making myself a cup of tea and move to the sofa to sit more comfortably, knowing this may be a long conversation. But in reality, I could use the break from work. We make some small talk about what Maisie has been up too at work recently as I make my tea. She tells me about her upcoming work and dance routines, sounding a lot more relaxed for now. I get myself comfortable on the sofa, listening to Maisie until she begins to run out of things to tell me. And once she does, I hear her let out a small sigh as I try to work my next sentence as carefully as possible. "So what is keeping you awake tonight Maisie?" I ask as best I can, instantly hearing a small sniffle down the phone. I give her as much time as she needs before she tells me anything. "I miss her.." Is all she has to say as I hear her getting more upset. "I know Maisie. I do too. We all do.." I quickly try and comfort her, letting her know she is not alone in feeling like this. "Your so strong Maisie, you support her no matter what and for that Harley absolutely adores you." I carry on, hoping to soothe her with my words. "But she will be back before we know it, and we will be able to make so many more memories together. Maybe even bring you over to L.A." I add, hearing the small gasp in excitement. "Really?" She quickly asks, making me giggle lightly at her sudden reaction. "Of course, hopefully it will fall on the School Holidays in London and we can make it into a family Holiday." I decide and Maisie quickly starts to ramble on what she wants to do in L.A, including meeting my family whilst she is here. I add in that I will make sure my Sisters visit so she can meet them too, which only excites her more as she makes plans for all of us, which will deffinently need more than a week to cover. But I am sure none of us will mind being together for at least 2 weeks in L.A. I can't help but smile more and more at Maisie becoming less emotional as we plan out a trip together, hopefully taking her mind off of missing her Older Sister, and instead giving her something to look forward too for when she gets back from Tour.

We spend so much time planning our trip before Maisie asks how filming is going. I am a little taken back by her question, but I quickly get into what we have been filming, knowing Maisie is also a fan of the show. She gets excited when I give her some little spoilers about what Leigh gets up too, which only makes her happier. We get lost in conversation about it all before a knock on Maisie's door snaps us both from our conversation. She excuses herself and calls her Dad inside, instantly I cringe a little at the chance of her getting wrong, but she quickly explains who is on the phone and why she rang me. Thankfully, Stuart easily understands as he joins Maisie on her bed and greets me on the phone. "Hi Stuart, how are you?" I add and he chuckles lightly as we catch up a little, a slight tiredness to his voice from waking up. "Thank you for talking with this one, the last couple of days have been hard." Stuart adds and I can't help but let my smile drop hearing that Maisie has been struggling. "I am more than happy to be here for both of you, no matter what time it is." I assure him, and I can hear his smile down the phone. "That's very sweet of you Lizzie." I smile at his words as he says goodnight to us both, letting Maisie know to get some sleep soon before he leaves her room. "He's right Maisie, you need some sleep." I add to Stuart's words, making Maisie giggle in agreement. "I know. Thank you for talking with me Lizzie. But can I ask a favour?" I can't help but scrunch my face up, hearing a change in her tone. "Of course, anything Maize." I say without hesitation, wanting for her to trust me. "Can you not tell Harley about this? I just don't want her to worry about me whilst she is out there, I don't want her mind on anything but staying safe." My heart literally both glows and breaks at her words, she really is so much like Harley and her Dad. I feel a tear escape my eye as I nod my head, even though she can't see me. "I won't mention it to her, I promise." I assure her and I hear her even sniffle a little. "Thank you Lizzie." We let a moment of comfortable silence pass us before we say goodnight, letting Maisie go to get some sleep. "Ring me anytime Maisie.." I add and she lets me know she will and then goes to get some sleep, leaving me to my thoughts as I think about everything we have spoken about on the phone.

I get lost in my own thoughts, wondering if we can make our trip a reality when Harley comes home. Smiling at the thought of having both our families in one place together. But just as much as I let my happier thoughts in, I let the more worrying thoughts in too. The what if's and fears start to creep in, the chances of losing Harley before she comes home then becoming the only thing I can focus on. The thoughts of if I lose Harley... Do I also lose her family? So many fears start to flash through my mind before I feel my phone buzz in my hand. Instantly I look down, opening my screen, hoping it is enough to distract me. As soon as I see a message from Harley, my smile comes back as I open it. I read it over a few times, seeing that she is exhausted from her day and very ready for sleep. It goes on to tell me about her day, meeting more locals and treating some people in need. But something about her message is telling me more than I want too know. A slight bubble in my stomach is telling me something is wrong with Harley. I can't quite put my finger on it, but something is telling me she is either worried about something, or something has bothered her. I know Harley, and I know she will protect anyone she knows needs it. So if something is bothering her, she won't let it drop until she helps as much as she can. And that alone if worrying as I know this could potentially put her in danger. I try and write a reply to her, but the worry I am feeling is coming across in every message I try and write out. But eventually I manage to send her something before I move to message with Scarlett. I quickly explain what I am thinking and how I am feeling, hoping she will be able to talk some sense into me. I even send her a copy of Harley's message so she can see where my thoughts have come from. It doesn't take long before she replies, telling me that it may just be my protectiveness coming out over Harley and she is very well trained to deal with anything she may come across on Tour. I trust her words, and I know Harley is over-qualified in everything she does, but the fear of her being in any danger is over-shadowing all my logical thinking. Eventually, my emotions get the better of me, and tears start to fall. Tears of fear and worry.. The thoughts of losing My Soldier becoming all too much.

I hate this. But I know deep down, My Soldier will come home to me. No matter what..