Call Me Mom

3.4K 157 23
                                    

A/N ~~ Bit of an emotional one after the events of the BBQ..

~~ Sorry it's a little late, life has been a little crazy lately....

~~ And also... 100k views on Book 2!!! That is insane!! Thank you all so much for the continuous support and love! It means the World to me <3

~~Saturday Night, L.A.~~

Normal POV

Thankfully, after the emotionally draining afternoon we have had at Jarnie's house, it didn't take Lizzie long to fall asleep when we did eventually come to bed together. We had already arranged to stay the night at her Mom's since we knew we'd be having a couple of drinks at the BBQ so it meant we could relax and enjoy ourselves without worrying about one of us driving. The rest of the BBQ was great, everyone made sure to help Lizzie forget about what happened with her Dad and soon enough she seemed to just relax in the laughter surrounding us both. I decided on just pushing everything I was feeling to one side and kept myself busy with Trent on the BBQ making sure everyone had plenty of food before putting all my attention on Rose when she asked me to play Football with her in the yard. Obviously Tom joined in with us, as well as Trent, so we kept Rose very entertained as everyone else enjoyed some drinks and conversation. I made sure to keep checking over with Lizzie, even though I knew she had more than enough people around her to take care of her, I couldn't help but glance over at every chance I got to make sure she was okay. And every time I caught her laughing and smiling it made me feel a little better each time. But that lingering bubble of anger and hurt never left my body, and still hasn't yet. Scarlett, Colin and Rose were the first to leave to get Rose to bed, as much as she didn't want to leave. Scarlett came to me first, pulling me to one side away from everyone to make sure I was okay. I couldn't lie to her and she quickly pulled me into a hug. I never expected to build such a strong bond with Scarlett, but she is so understanding and never judges anyone so it is very easy to trust her. No wonder she is Lizzie's best friend, they are good for each other. She took the time to talk with me on how I was feeling and listened to every word. She told me if I needed to talk, I could ring her day or night before she eventually had to leave to get Rose back to bed. Not too long after they left, everyone else began to slowly leave as the night soon caught up on all of us.

Trent and the Twins all stayed to do a clean up before they headed home leaving just me, Lizzie and Jarnie. We sat for a little while with a drink under the stars out in the yard to unwind before we all called it a night. Jarnie made sure we were both okay before letting us go off to bed. So after Lizzie got into the shower, I got us some comfy clothes to change into for bed. I soon got a shower after Lizzie was finished, washing away some of the lingering stress of the day before getting out and dressed to join Lizzie in bed. I made sure Lizzie was feeling okay before she soon drifted off into a deep sleep in my arms. But after hours of lying wide awake, my mind will not turn off enough for me to sleep. Lizzie is still asleep in my arms, her head tucked into my chest as her breathing is calm and peaceful. I find myself just watching her dream, not knowing what she is dreaming about, but seeing her like this gives me memories to hold onto when we are apart. I use every way possible to try and stop my mind from slipping into what has happened today, but no matter how hard I try I get flashes of the harsh words that I will never be able to forget. The look in David's eyes looking into my own. The way he didn't hesitate to raise a hand to me. Wanting to inflict any type of pain, not caring who it would effect. Eventually, I look at the time and see how late it is and decide there is no sleep coming to me soon. I glance out the window and see it is a calm night so I carefully slip out from under Lizzie, making sure not to wake her as I leave her comfortable before grabbing a hoodie and slipping into it and some joggers and then head downstairs for a drink of water and a walk outside in the back yard to hopefully process through how I am feeling. I walk downstairs as quietly as I can, heading for the kitchen after slipping into my trainers, grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge and then gently letting myself out the kitchen door to find a seat in the yard.

The Moon is lighting up the night sky with how clear it is tonight. I get comfortable on one of the chairs outside, leaning my head back so I can take in the views above my head. The flickering of the stars as they shine brighter than the City lights. I take in some deep, calming breathes. Filling my lungs as I try to relax my body. I let my eyes close softly, letting my mind replay the events plaguing my mind. Step by step reliving his venomous words as if he is right back here infront of me. I understand that he wants to protect his daughter, but there is only so much I can take before I end up snapping. There is nothing I wouldn't do to keep Lizzie safe. I would take a thousand bullets for her in a heartbeat. I want only what is best for her, nothing less. I just wish he would give me the opportunity to prove that to him, to show him his daughter is safe with me. There will never be a day I don't put Lizzie first. She is my World. And I want her to be happy beyond anything else, no matter what that looks like. I try thinking about everything I have said and done infront of him, hoping to find an answer to why he dislikes me so much. But I can't pin point anything. I huff out, running my hands over my face in frustration. What more can I do? I hear soft foot steps across the yard, and instantly my mind thinks it is Lizzie. But when they get closer, I hear a gentle tone of voice letting me know that I am no longer alone. "Harley.. It's just me." Jarnie gently lets me know so not to startle me. I lift my head up from the back of the chair, my lips pulling into a small smile as I see Jarnie standing in the dressing gown I bought her for Christmas, two mugs in her hands as she waits for me to come back from my intrusive thoughts. "I thought you could use a tea. It's an English Breakfast Tea, Lizzie told me that would be the best one to buy for you." Jarnie sweetly hands me a mug with an instantly comforting smile on her face. "That's very sweet of you Jarnie, thank you." I reply easily as I take the cup from her hand gently, taking in the familiar warm scent of a homemade cup of tea.

"Do you mind if I join you Harley?" Jarnie asks gently, instantly I nod my head. "I don't mind at all, please do." I return, making her smile only grow as she sits in the seat next to mine, getting comfortable as I hug my hands around my warm cup. "I will admit, I had to double check how to make one of those properly so I hope it's good." Jarnie jokes as she nods towards my cup, making me laugh lightly. "I'm sure it's perfect Jarnie, thank you." I quickly reply as we fall into a small, comfortable silence. Taking in the calm night around us before I feel Jarnie's eyes on me again. I don't say anything, knowing she will say what she wants to soon enough. I am so thankful that Jarnie is the way she is with me, unapologetic and genuine. She did not have any pre-judgement of me and gave me a chance before determining her opinion of me. And I love the relationship we are growing, especially with how close and important she is to Lizzie. I would not be able to cope with coming between them. I catch myself just watching them both together, almost jealous of how close they are. I wish I had that kind of relationship with my own mother. But thankfully, I have the one I do with my Dad, which means more to me than he will ever know. "I see you can easily get lost in your own head Harley." Jarnie calls me out softly, snapping me from my spiralling thoughts. "I do. It's been a habit since I was young unfortunatley." I return just as softly as I slowly turn to face where Jarnie is already watching me with gentle eyes. "I know nothing anyone will say to you will help, but I want you to know that one person's opinion does not determine how everyone else sees you Harley. My ex-husband is stubborn and set in his ways, do not let that deter you in anyway. Your good for my daughter. Never forget that." She tells me with a slight sternness to her voice, making me smile as I blink away some tears that suddenly build in my eyeline at her kind words.

"Thank you Jarnie. Don't get me wrong, I have dealt with my fair share of hate all my life considering my sexuality, but it's different when it comes from someone like that. I don't want to be the reason for Lizzie to feel any type of hurt when it comes to her family." I ramble some of my thoughts, knowing I can trust Jarnie with anything. "And that right there is why he will have no choice but to see how good you are for Liz. You put her before yourself no matter what it is. You protect and love her with everything. He will see it in his own time." She adds and I nod softly in agreement. Trusting her words. "I hope so." I reply and she reaches over, squeezing my arm comfortingly before we fall back into another small silence as we drink our warm drinks and take in the night sky gently passing by above our heads. I keep getting the feeling that Jarnie wants to say or ask something but is hesitating for some reason. So I try and break the silence between us, giving her the chance to maybe bring it up. "This is a good cup of tea." I joke softly, making her laugh. "Thank you Harley." She says in return sweetly with a gentle smile. But something behind her eyes tells me she is thinking heavily about something. I hear her turning more towards where I am sitting to her side, a small sigh leaving her throat before she begins to speak in the softest tone. "You never talk about your Mother, Harley." She begins and instantly my chest constricts to the point I nearly lose my breathe. I was not expecting that right now, but I understand it. "I uhm, I don't see her anymore." I reply a little breathlessly. "What happened?" She asks gently. I then realise Lizzie has not even talked to her Mom about what I have told her, and it makes me only love her more. As well as being surprised that Jarnie has not read the article from our magazine interview when I mentioned it, but then again, I know she is not one for Celebrity Gossip like that. Or maybe she wants to hear it from me instead..?

"She uh, she killed herself when I was 18. I was on Tour in Africa at the time." I explain slowly, letting the words come out as carefully as I can. A silent minute passes before Jarnie puts her cup down on the small table and reaches for my free hand on the side of my chair, gripping it tightly causing me to look back up from my feet to meet her softened gaze. "Oh my- Harley.. I'm so sorry, I had no idea." She begins, slightly stumbling over what to say. "It's okay, I don't really talk about it much. We had a very, complicated relationship." I reply softly, finding comfort in the grip she has on my hand right now. "Complicated how?" She asks with a careful tone, almost scared to ask. I take a deep breath before shifting to face Jarnie better, knowing this is going to be a deep conversation. "She didn't agree with my sexuality. So much so she would raise her hands to me. As did my older Brother. She said she always knew I was different from a very young age, but didn't know exactly what it was until she found out about me being gay." I ramble a little, feeling strangely comfortable with Jarnie. "Oh Harley.. That is terrible." She near enough whispers, taking a minute to still process my words so I just let her. "And you have a Brother?" She questions, and I nod my head softly in reply. "I do. He is my Mother's son, not my Dad's though. His name is Steven. He is 3 years older than me, but we have never got along." I add and she nods softly in reply as she takes it all in. We talk about how my Mother found out about my sexuality and then what happened between us after that. I told her about what she would do to me and what she would say. A wave of relief leaving my body as I talk about everything more freely with Jarnie. I catch her eyes filling with tears that she tries to blink away, but they stay put before slowly falling down her cheeks the more I tell her. But instead of stopping me like I expected her too, she encourages me to carry on. So I end up talking about more than just my Mother. Covering my time in the Army and losing James.

My Soldier - Missing HomeWhere stories live. Discover now