𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗞𝗢𝗞𝗨 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗦

soulmates, heartmates, star-crossed lovers, whatever!

It was at the dead of night that Dazai had stumbled upon this disheartening revelation. He was just thinking about ways to annoy, perhaps even kill Chuuya, like every single day of his life seven years after meeting him. His mind thought of burning Chuuya's apartment building down, along him with it because that would be ironic.

Then that train of thought was interrupted by his mind wandering off to him and Chuuya's past. Then their partnership. Then their current relationship— re-hate-tionship.

Then about the obscene amount of trust Chuuya places in him. Then about the obscene amount of trust he places in Chuuya.

He was stuck in his bed with unblinking eyes as he thought even further into their past, to their first meeting.

'Hateful kick at first sight', he calls it.

Despite being kicked through a many hard surfaces and essentially being stepped on like a carpet, he still went ahead and worked with Chuuya against Rimbaud.

It's because I wanted to live. He remembers saying, but a voice instills a chill up his spine with its next statement. You wanted to live because of him.

The memory is definitely unpleasant, especially the part where he holds Chuuya's hand. He had wasted his first hand-holding with the midget, how frightening.

He remembers being fond of Chuuya. His hateful glares and tasteful reactions to his endless teasing brought a satisfactory feeling to him, for some apparent reason.

He remembers the first time Chuuya had used Corruption. Completely destroyed a block, all because of Verlaine's tricks. He went feral, but then again, he always is. The second time was with the fight against Verlaine— giving up the chance to know about his identity and whether he was a human or not because Dazai had told him it was the best course of action.

He was so ready to initiate plan B, practically waiting to die but Chuuya was already heading head-first into battle, relying on him to bring him back to sound mind.

And God did it feel amazing, nullifying Arahabaki.

Getting off-track here.

His brain was stuck on the topic of 'Why does Chuuya trust me so much and why me, him?'.

The way they could comminucate without a word shared throughout a hard fight, how a brief glance and a small fierce smirk from Chuuya would be telling enough— it was almost like their souls were stitched together to make one whole. It's like they've known eachother their whole lives, and the ones before that, funnily enough.

It's almost like he was the one filled that hole in Dazai's traitorous organ.

Haha.

...

Fuck.

———

Dazai is banging his head on the couch's arm rest, groaning because he can't get that infuriating thought out of his restless head. He wasn't even able to get a wink of sleep that night. He's cursing under his breath, cursing at Chuuya with a passion. That's a lie. Most of the curses were towards himself.

He crawls over to his desk and goes on his laptop, typing on the keyboard with dread and embarassment.

soulmates

One of the first things that pop up are 'signs that help identify your soulmate' and he hesitantly clicks it. This wouldn't get anything right, right? He just needs a confirmation to finally have peace in his mind, so he can finally sleep this week. Applying concealer for his eyebags get tiring.