𝗦𝗢𝗨𝗞𝗢𝗞𝗨 𝗦𝗛𝗢𝗧𝗦

a cup of wholesome, please!

"And where exactly is Dazai right now?" Kunikida scowls, hands crossed to his chest while red in the face from anger. Dazai had been disappearing every time at lunch for the last two months, always returning half an hour late or not coming back to
work at all. It would make sense that Kunikida would get pissed off by now, if not earlier.

Ranpo shrugs, "I dunno."

"What do you mean you don't— Argh. Why are you not saying where he is?"

"He wants you guys to find out for yourself, obviously. This is just as amusing to me as it is to me, seeing you all so confused as to where he's galloped off to these weeks." Ranpo smirks with mirth, sugary remains on the sides of his lip. "Although, I will suggest you go ahead and check out the new shopping district. Dazai's been a little late with his payments!"

Kunikida's eye twitches. "Payments?"

"Of candy, 'course. We all know Dazai doesn't have enough money to pay me to keep quiet of his whereabouts. Now, run a long! Shoo! Tood-a-loo! Poe's gonna be comin' over and I don't want anybody disturbing us."

"Fine." Kunikida turns around, eyes landing on Atsushi.

"Atsushi-kun, come with me. I think we'll have a better chance of dragging Dazai back if you come with."

Atsushi can't find any courage in himself to say no so he just nods, standing up from his desk and following Kunikida out the door like a duckling.

———

They both walk through a small crowd of people, Atsushi taking in the light and cheerful atmosphere, admiring the vivid colors of the area. Kunikida still very stern and pissed off looking.

"Wow... Come to think of it, I haven't had the chance to check this place out! Have you, Kunikida-san?" He turns to look at the blonde pushing up his glasses. "I'm afraid not. I haven't the time, and I'd have to renew my schedule for it."

He looks around, expression suddenly turning annoyed.

"I found the idiot. Come on Atsushi-kun! I'm going to beat some sense into that bastard!" Kunikida stomps his way to the café Dazai is currently residing in, sitting by the window talking to somebody.

"Oh but my mademoiselle, are you sure you don't wanna take up my offer of a double suicide? Just imagine it! Us jumping into a river, hand in hand in the sunset, Wouldn't it be romantic?" Dazai clasps his hand over the woman's palm, said woman smiling with an underlying emotion.

"I'm sorry Dazai-san, but I'm afraid I must decline. I don't find the idea of dying with an unfaithful man such as you very romantic at all." She says, pulling her hand away and bowing politely. Dazai gasps theatrically, "Unfaithful? How so?!"

The bell on the door dings and he turns around with a shining glint in his eyes.

"Hauh! Ch— uuuuunikida-kun." Dazai's smile dissolves into a small, empty one.

The woman leans into his ear with a smile, "This. This is what I meant." and walks off.

"You! So this is where you've been going these past few months?! You have been skipping out on work for a cup of coffee?" Even Atsushi thought that was a stupid reason. He was biased though, he didn't really like coffee.

"Hmmm. I haven't been skipping work for coffee— I skip work for something else that starts with a 'C'."

The bell rings again, and Dazai gasps with hearts in his eyes.

In his mind, he sees a bee buzzing around Chuuya's head like a crown, a few hearts beating and an arrow through one of them. Even a little cherub— Cupid, perhaps— holding a bow and pointing it towards said hearts.

"Chuuuuuya!" The brunette calls out, jumping up from his seat towards the redhead.

"Oi! Get off me, asshole!" The other doesn't even try that hard to pry his clingy arms away from his neck, an outright invitation to let him continue his shenanigans.

"Did you get shorter, schnookums?"

"What the fuck gave you that idea?! And don't call me that!"

"Haha, you're so fun to irritate, chibikko. Who would I latch myself onto and harass if not you? Life would be devoid!"

"That sounds very co-dependent—"

"Ane-san!" Dazai whines to Kouyou beside him.

"And very concerning. Now get off of Chuuya, Dazai."

Kunikida stands in awe behind them.

Atsushi's jaw is mere inches from the floor.

Chuuya's patience is one hair stand thin away from imploding.

Dazai smiles, ecstatic to see what kind of mayhem and chaos his plans will lead to.