The Bang To My Sex (A Dan Avidan Fanfiction)

Sneaky Wingman

I got back to my house, and parked. Getting out, I checked my phone. A text from Dan.

"Good morning. Hope you're feeling okay! :)"

I smiled, responding. "Just got back home. I feel good. Suzy made breakfast"

Unlocking the door, I walked inside, locking it behind me, and flopping down on the couch.

"Oooh, nice"

"Mhmm" I quickly ran out of things to talk about.

Apparently so did he, because he read it, but didn't respond.

To kill time, I grabbed my laptop and checked my email every few minutes, hoping Arin had sent over the newest episode to edit. That's something I could tell Dan.

"Oh! Btw, gonna be editing a bit more in the future. Got some episodes lined up to work on, and Arin and I even talked about maybe editing a 10mph episode in the future!"

"That's awesome! I bet you'd do a great job"

"Idk, there's a very specific editing style yall have for those. I probably couldn't replicate it. But I'd do some basic editing"

"Ive still gotta convince you to be on one"

I shook my head. "Not happening lol"

"Awwwuh, come on. At least consider it?"

"How about this? I'll consider being on guest grumps for a game play episode. Then I'll go from there. Deal?"

"Hell yeah! Deal!"

I laughed. "I wish I could've heard te excitement in your voice just then"

"Just know I did a little happy dance where I'm sitting haha"

"I believe it lol. Idk why you want me on GG so bad"

"Because you'll love it. And I know the Lovelies will too. You've been a friend for so long, it's only natural"

There's that word again. Friend. I screenshotted the message and sent it to Arin, with no context, to see his response.

I responded to Dan while I waited.

"Yeah, that's fair. It's terrifying but exciting"

"As with everything in life"

I smiled. "That's why I could never do what you do in NSP. It's definitely not for everyone, but I'm okay with that lol"

"Fair. I'm not sure how I even do it honestly. I just... do haha"

"Well, it's working. I'm gonna get to editing. Call me tonight?"

"You got it Lovebug"

I smiled a sad smile as I sat my phone down.  In the same conversation he called me a friend, he also called me his pet name for me.

I just wanted to punch him and hug him, at the same time. I wanted to scream at him, and cry to him. I wanted to ask him why, but ask him why not. I wanted to put it all on the table, but keep it to myself forever. It was all so confusing and hurtful.

My phone buzzed.

"I wouldn't over think that one. You have been our friend for so long. And since you two aren't a thing, technically he's right, yall are still friends"

"Yeah, but in a later message, he called me Lovebug again. That can't not mean something. Anything.. I just want answers, ya know?"

"I know. I know how that feels. I really do. But when he comes back, definitely sit down and have a serious talk about"

"Oh god, I don't even want to think about that rn"

"Don't right now. But just keep it in mind. It'll all work out. I promise. Have I ever steered you wrong?"

I laughed, about to text back sarcastically, but he cut me off.

"Don't answer that lol. Point is, trust me. He's my best friend. I know him"

"Okay. I trust you. Send over the episode so I can get to work"

"Sending in about 10. I don't need it immediately though. Take your time"

"Will do"

I kept refreshing my email, until his came through.

This video was a one off game, probably couldn't get more than one or two episodes out of it. Stopping every so often to cut out some dead air, I mainly just listened to it while I straightened up.

One point made me stop in my tracks to listen. They were talking about tour stories from the past. Memories, funny moments, whatnot.

Dan spoke up. "Speaking of tour, I am going on tour very soon. I think I'll be on tour by the time this episode goes out, actually. Not to date the episode or anything. Oops."

"Eh, its fine. Are you excited?"

"Yeah! Yeah, very excited. It's been a long time, it'll be nice to get back out there."

"Got any plans before you leave?"

I paused it. I realized this was Arin's not so subtle way to bring me up on the channel. Taking a deep breath, I hit play.

"I do actually. I'm spending my last day with a friend." He imitated a posh voice at the end, giggling a little.

"Ooh, what kind of friend, Dan? A lady friend?"

"Mayyybe, but we're gonna grab some food, maybe see a movie. We'll see. Just spend some time together, ya know? It always sucks to leave, but once I get out there, there's not reeling me back in. I'm like a.. like a.. a bass, out in the ocean. Are bass even in the ocean? I don't know, but a generic wild fish."

Arin laughed. "A wild caught Alaskan salmon."

Dan laughed. "Sure, we'll go with that."

I paused again. Goddammit Arin. I was both happy and upset. Happy that he found a way to bring me up, but upset at the same time. I just wasn't sure why I was upset. Maybe just because I didn't want anything publicized, or maybe it was because I didn't want him to drag anything out of Dan he wasn't comfortable with sharing.

Either way, a sense of relief washed over me. I smiled at the screen for a few moments, thinking about the undertones he used on "friend". Each time the word was used, I believe the meaning changed slightly.

I called Arin. A few rings later, he picked up.

"Hello?"

"You sneaky fucker!"

He laughed pretty hard, sighing at the end. "I'm just trying to help you."

"I know, I appreciate it. I think I might have over reacted about him using the word friend honestly. I feel so stupid, but it seems like he uses it differently than I interpreted it. The worst part is, he has no idea how much it upset me, but I can't talk about any of this with him. He doesn't even know I.." I sighed.

Arin stayed silent on the other end, waiting for me to continue.

"Arin.."

"Yeah?"

"I.. I love him. I love Dan."