Loving Chris (TTSPG Book3)

27

I had spent the better part of the afternoon hiking a trail with the gang to a spot by a hidden water spot, taking pictures and videos along the way.

The area was beautiful and the small body of water was enough for us to go swimming and tanning as we soaked up the sun. Everyone looked happy and content as they were occupied with their partners and I squeezed Chris' shoulder as he laid next to me talking to his mom on the phone.

"Yes mom- I know mom. No, I didn't change my mind- at the end of the month- I promise. Love you too. Bye."

He groans as he puts the phone down and I kiss his shoulder as I laid next to him, almost laying on top.

"What was that about?"

"She wants to know if I'm still moving back home."

My heart started to beat faster and I slowly exchanged breath. "And?"

Chris sits up and I followed suit. Sitting cross legged, he rubbed his arm with the other as he squinted up at me. "You know I'm still moving back... right?"

"Yeah... yeah. I just thought-"

"You just thought what? I've decided to move back home over a year ago and was just waiting for my lease to be up. It's up this month end."

"Yeah... I know."

"Damon-"

"So where does that leave us?"

"I-"

"I'm not the long distance kind of guy Chris."

"I'm not asking you to be the 'long distance kind of guy'."

"Then what are you saying?"

I straightened up as I saw him sigh and run his fingers threw his hair and before I knew it I was already getting up.

"Damon!" Chris calls but I fake a smile to the others there and mumbled that I was heading back first.

My footsteps are fast and I tried to hold back my frustrations as I briskly walked, trying to put enough distance between us.

"Would you wait up? Jesus fuck!" Chris snaps as he pulls me to a stop and heaves, throwing my clothes at me. "Stop fucking doing that. Have a conversation with me like an adult instead of leaving when you don't wanna hear things anymore."

"I need to clear my head for a bit."

"This change affects us both. What do you want me to do, huh? I didn't expect you to come back into my life after two years nor did I expect us to be where we're at now. I just think- don't fucking walk away Damon!"

Chris pulls me back again and I'm struggling to not let the tears slip out.

"I'm exhausted." I murmur as I felt defeated and wanted to take a nap. "Please let's talk more when we get back to the city."

"Don't do this D!" He states bluntly and I still stared at the ground, my breathing barely there. "If we don't talk about this now I'll assume you're done trying to make this work and I'll end it right here, right now."

My eyes snap to him and I knew it reflected anger as my boil started to boil. "End it? End it?! You decided to end it the day you decided to move hours away from me!"

"Don't you fucking yell at me!" Chris snaps as he starts to back away. "I'm not the bad person here! You decided it was over when you kissed Danny! You decided it was over when you took me for granted for over three years when all I ever did was love you. Now I'm-"

"And you guys never let me forget it! I was a fucking teenager that had a lot of shit going on internally and I hurt you! There's no excuse for my actions and I've spent the last two years trying to figure my shit out. Now that I have, now that I know what I want... you're leaving me."

"I'm not leaving you Damon." Chris says softly, no longer shouting at me as he comes closer. "I'm moving back home."

"Oh be honest Chris. How many long distance relationships do you know that's worked?"

"I-"

"You even ended thing with your ex when you moved here."

"He is not you!"

"You're right! He never hurt you like I did. Even I now know that there're many guys out there that can and did treat you better than I ever did."

"Why must we always come back to this?"

"Because-"

"I know you're picking a fight because it's easier for you to-"

"It's easier for me?! Nothing about this is easier for me!"

"Damon!-"

"You have no idea how much I love you. How much I-"

"Then stop arguing." Chris says softly as he holds my arms to the side.

"I can't lose you."

"You won't."

"Then stay. Stay with me. Don't move."

"Damon."

"I love you Chris."

"I-"

I slip my hands around his waist and pull him closer for a kiss as I didn't want to hear him say he can't stay. I felt like my heart was paining and I knew he felt my emotions from the harshness of my kiss. All too soon he's pushing me from him and I swore I heard my heart stop for a second as I found myself struggling to breathe.

"Please stop crying." Chris whispers as he tiptoes to meet my face.

I realize that I was shaking with tears running down my face as he grips both my hands in his.

"Don't leave me again." I murmur as I stare down at him and he sighs.

"Let's head back okay?"

I nod as I let him lead me back and I say nothing as he puts me in my car. I'm still dazed and speechless as I picked at my fingers and by the time I looked up, Chris was driving.

I wanted to ask why we were leaving or if he let the others know but words refused to come out my mouth. With every tree passed, every street passed and the sun slowly fading so that the moon could shine, I felt my heart beat just a bit slower as I felt the inevitable coming.

Could I survive it this time?