Loving Chris (TTSPG Book3)

4

I got to her apartment complex and fished inside her purse for a key. Finding one, I got out, got her out and lifted her baby style as we headed inside. A few persons on the short walk from my car to her door gave me weird looks to which I ignored.

I entered the small apartment and searched for the lights before putting her on the couch. Heading for the kitchen, I grabbed a large bowl and a glass of water before heading back to her sleeping form. Fixing her properly onto the the couch so that she slept comfortably, I left the bowl closest to her on the floor and covered the water on the coffee table.

I scribbled a note on the notepad I found near the landline, which indicated she didn't live alone, before I left the place. I ensured it was locked securely before heading to my car and driving back to the club.

Whether Stacy was ready or not, I would drag her ass home with me because I was now over the party vibes. Getting back there the club seemed more packed and I groaned as I had to force my way towards the bar. It was difficult for me to find her and so I had no choice but to talk to the bartender.

"Hey, the girl I came here with, you happened to notice if she's still here? Maybe if she came for a few more drinks?" I asked hopefully.

The bartender raises his eyebrows as he wiped a glass and I waited impatiently.

"That was quick. You sure she finished?"

I was confused as to what he meant then realized he saw me leave with the girl after she touched my knees. I rolled my eyes before watching him.

"Nothing happened." I clarified.

"She not your type."

"Look, I get you're hot and all and any other time I'd be interested... maybe, but I'm looking for a friend of mine. Can you just tell me if you've seen her?"

"She left a while ago with a guy."

I rolled my eyes as I fished for my phone to call her just to make sure she wasn't being taken advantage of. My eyes connected with Chris' yet again and this time I held his stare moments before Stacy answered.

"Where are you?" I asked, ignoring my panicked feeling as I head towards Chris who sat next to Trent, Alexis no where to be found.

"Oh! Hey, I'm headed home with this guy. Saw you leave with that hot chick so I didn't think you'd be coming back anytime soon." She giggled and I rolled my eyes. "Bye hun, see you on Monday."

The call was cut as I arrived and I inhaled as I no longer had a buffer.

"Hey."

"Hey." They both responded.

I gave Trent a small smile before refocusing my attention on the guy I was actually there to see.

"Is it okay if I talk to you for a minute?"

Chris ignores my question and my face but gets up and walks away. I stare after him, not knowing if he chose to ignore me or wanted me to follow after him.

"That's your cue to go after him." Trent says and I gave him a confused look but obey immediately.

It took me a minute to catch up with his fast retreating back and by the time I did he was bracing my car.

"That was fast."

"What?" I responded dumb. "You're smaller than I am and I had to force my way between people."

"Was she not worth it?"

I stared at him for a second genuinely confused before his next words made the conversation clearer.

"Or do you still feel guilty when you get caught by me."

"What?" I answered shock but stepping closer to him. "You left me. You moved on-"

"I don't care what you do and who you do it with."

"Then why-"

"At least we both know you're straight now."

"Are you seriously labeling my sexuality right now?"

"You should be happy! That's all you ever wanted right?! To feel normal. To fall for a girl and follow the 'norm' of society. I-"

"I loved you-"

"I confused you- Look, I'm just happy you're moving on and this whole stint you were in, you've finally managed to get out of. You can stop wearing the stupid ring now and go be happy with whatever girl bats her eyes at you."

"You think that I'm over you?"

Chris looks up at me and my heart slowed at that look he gave me. For a fleeting second it looked as though he held hope but I knew that wasn't the case because I knew he was over me.

"You think that I'm happy?"

"I-"

"Seeing you with other guys? Seeing you happy and laughing without me. Knowing that you've never felt this way when I was with you. Knowing that I haven't seen you cry in two years."

"Damon."

"You think I give a fuck about my sexuality. You think I care about something as stupid as being gay or bi or whatever shit I was too concerned about when I watched you walk away from me... after I destroyed us."

"Damon." Chris warns as I've now closed the gap between us and had my hands pressed against either side of him as he braced the car.

"You think it makes me happy that I've officially lost every good thing in my life?"

"It was your choice." He whispers quietly, not wanting to talk loudly and inevitably bringing my face closer to his. "You were bad to me."

"I know."

"You were toxic-"

"I know."

"You made me hate myself."

The tears that slipped from his eyes completely broke my heart and I knew exactly how he felt because I wasn't stupid to the things I did to him. Every fiber in my body wanted me to pull his face to mine just so I can kiss away his sorrows but I refused to be the old me.

The toxic me.

"I'm truly sorry." I say, caving a bit and wiping his tears away.

"Why wasn't I good enough for you?"

"You were the best thing that happened to me."

"Why do I only cry when I'm with you?"

He presses his head against my shirt and I had to force myself not to break as I knew he was right. I kept breaking his heart and even though two years had almost passed, I now knew he was just as pained as I was... maybe more so.

Chris pulls away from me before running a hand on my chest and I let him. His eyes are completely focused on his fingers as they trailed upwards and I never took my eyes off his face.

"Why do you still wear this?" He asks, his fingers pulling the ring from beneath my shirt and looking at it.

"Because I refuse to forget you. I refuse to let you go. This is selfish of me but I can't seem to let go of you."

"Why haven't you kissed me yet?" He asks quietly, finally looking up at me.

Although he's stopped crying, his eyes are glossy.

"Do you want me to?"