Loving Chris (TTSPG Book3)

15

Why haven't I done this more often?

This crying thing...

It felt freeing, as though all my stress and anxiety had come out through tears.

I sat on one of the unoccupied benches outside the hospital that Chris had led me to, after I had calmed and even though I got eerily quiet, I never let go of him.

He was sitting almost on top of me and as I buried my nose in his hair, he let me hold him. My legs were lazily parted across the bench in such a way that I was perpendicular to him, yet he turned his body so that we could be closer.

"Are you okay now?" He asks softly and I squeezed him tighter.

"Mmhmm."

He chuckles softly before tapping my hand and I reluctantly released him. "We should head back inside."

"Can't we just stay here a while?"

"I have to check on Trent."

"Trent?" I asked, looking at him as he stared ahead.

With our position, I could observe him perfectly and I couldn't help but notice the few stitches near his temple or how strands of his hair had a mixture of dried blood and dirt in it.

Running my hands through them, I watch him stiffen before relaxing into my touch. "Are you in pain?"

"No."

"What happened?... can you talk about it or is it too soon?"

"Its not."

He stops, looks at me, thinks for a second before finally falling against my chest.

"We were all dancing when it happened. Me, Lex, Trent... I was mad at you because you told me I was a mistake-"

"I never-"

"And I took it on so much that they decided a night out was the best thing to distract my mind."

He chuckles as he idly create circles on my leg. "I don't know why you affect me so much." He whispers.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I guess I now know why moths are the way they are."

"And why's that?"

"They know the flame is dangerous to them but it's the light of their world. The only thing worth dying for."

"That's very intense... don't you think?"

"We danced for hours yet it felt as though no time had passed at all. We were having fun, you know. Too much fun. One minute the music was loud and welcoming, the next, we heard screams and people were falling so quickly."

I put both hands around his waist in a way of me reassuring him that I was here.

"It took us a moment to understand what was happening but when we saw Alexis trapped underneath a dying guy... god that was so scary."

"I know baby." I murmur, squeezing him tightly before releasing.

"I don't know if I called Dan or if Trent did but we managed to grab her and we hid beneath the bar until the cops showed up. We didn't even go with the ambulance when we were rescued. Dan wouldn't let them touch us. He was more scared than the three of us combined... I guess it was because of all the blood."

"Did they find the guy?"

"I don't know." He replies softly. "But we forgot about Trent's heart condition. As soon as the stress wore off, he fainted and well... I don't know if he's awake yet."

"Do you wanna go-" I stopped talking as I felt a slight tremor through his body.

Without having to look at his face I knew he was crying and so I went silent as I held him.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. Your body is overwhelmed and your mind is now feeling it."

"I was so scared."

"I know baby. I know."

I tilt his chin to me and although tears flowed freely, he looked so beautiful that I was tempted to kiss him.

The only thing stopping me was the haunting of my past mistakes and I knew that this time my words had to be louder than my actions. I didn't know what to say to him to let him know that he was safe with me but I was determined to try.

At least I knew I was.

Chris on the other hand, did not want to hear how safe he was with me or how things would get better.

His lips connected with mine and the mixture of salt, dirt and heat was all I needed to break my composure.

What I'm sure was meant to be testing of water had turned into a hunger filled explosion as we got lost in each other. Nothing else mattered to us. The dreary night sky above us with tiny stars nor the always hectic hospital in all its chaotic glory wasn't enough to pull us apart.

He needed me just as much as I needed him and we would have stayed like this if the clearing of throat didn't part us.

"Hey... am... ehem." A guard says as he tries to look at the small spot on the bench we sat on, hand massaging his neck in awkward silence. "I ah... I know you guys are probably... you know, am but this is a hospital and I am... I'm not trying to be a bigot or anything, it's just that you can't... yeah."

For the first time tonight I see Chris trying to hold back a genuine laugh and I smiled as I stood, pulling him with me.

"We're sorry sir. I guess we couldn't contain ourselves. We'll get back inside now." He says politely, dragging me with him.

I shake my head as I quietly followed behind before falling into step with him. I knew there were many people on the inside and even a few near the entrance yet I couldn't stop myself.

I couldn't stop myself from pulling him to a stop, bracing him to the wall near the entrance and kissing him one last time before we had to be civil around humanity.

"What was that for?" He asked once he could breathe again.

I ignore his question, opting instead to head in search of the others and I smiled as I heard him follow behind me.

I knew there was a smile on his face that mirrored mine without me having to look and for some reason that broadened my smile even more.