Loving Chris (TTSPG Book3)

14

Everything flashed before us as Derek broke the speed limit and I wanted to tell him drive faster if only to soothe the ache in my chest.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

I was not about to lose another person.

I was not about to go through this pain again.

Not again.

I felt like I was seconds away from breaking and although I didn't look it, I could feel the meltdown coming.

Tapping on the dashboard, I leant forward as I silently willed the car to go faster. The little pointer was fast passing 100 and with that my heart rate went up a notch. It wasn't the fear of death, no, this was the fear of losing him.

This is why I fuck up everything. This is why I push people away by hurting them.

Fuck!

I closed my eyes for a few seconds just to calm myself down but they quickly flew open as Derek smashed brakes, pitching me forward only to stop short as my seatbelt held me back.

"Shit!"

I looked up to see a few cop cars barricading a club as two ambulances pulled out. Our eyes slowly followed every movement and my heart slammed against my chest as I saw tens of people panicking, talking to the cops, screaming, hugging each other as they cried or held their body as their face contorted in pain.

"Eric." I whispered and we were speeding towards the hospital once again.

I barely saw the cops spare us a glance as they continued what they were doing and I couldn't find it in me to care about anything else as I unhooked my seatbelt and leaned forward.

"Fuck! Just breathe man, breathe." Derek shouts, even though I know he didn't mean to.

He chances death as he squeezes my shoulder whilst speeding and I try my damndest not to lose my shit in his car.

The last panic attack I had was the day Levi died on the hospital bed in front of me and it was so bad the doctor had to intervene. All I knew was that I freaked and then fainted. Derek was so scared that he treated me like I was the cancer patient a month after that and I knew he didn't want to go through it again.

"Breathe, god damnit." He panicks and I try to do just that as he hits 120.

Please don't be dead.

Please don't be dead.

I repeat this over and over in my head but yet my mind kept forcing the memory of what we just saw, to the forefront of my brain.

I tried to stop my train of thought as Eric pulls into the hospital and I'm already stepping out the moving car as he slows near the emergency entrance. I have no idea where I'm going or who to look for besides Alexis but that doesn't stop me as I race towards the waiting area.

The hospital is semi packed and there are a few officers here as they did fuck knows what. I could feel my panic attack right at the surface before my eyes landed on a stressed Alexis as she paces up and down in a far corner of the hospital.

"Damon?"

I turn as I hear Danny's voice before we quickly head towards each other.

"Where is he?" I ask and even surprised myself at how calm I sounded.

"He-"

"What are you doing here?!" Alexis demands in a hard voice and I all but snapped at her.

I was clearly not in the mood to deal with anything at the moment and she didn't seem to pick up on that.