Loving Chris (TTSPG Book3)

9

Morning comes slowly and with it the troubles of my mind. Sighing, I threw the sheet off me as my brain protested any and all movements. I hadn't slept a wink last night and even though there was a pressing headache at the back of my neck, I couldn't afford to call in sick just because I didn't know if my ex was seeing someone.

Slowly, I prepared for the day. I skipped my usual early morning exercise routine and lazily walked around the house as I tried and failed in calming my mind. Deciding to make coffee, I welcomed the strong taste of the energetic drink before staring at his number on my screen.

I wanted to text him or call him but I was a chicken shit and I groaned before resting my head on the island. I felt as though I was going crazy and I sighed before heading to the shower, leaving my dirty dishes behind for a later time.

Instead of driving the car, I opted for a taxi and closed my eyes on the short drive to work if only to ease the slowly intensifying headache. Paying the driver, I pulled on my shades before slowly walking to my office. I hadn't seen Danny as yet and I was happy to not have to deal with him so early in the morning. Stacy was not so easy to avoid and as I sat in my office, head on desk, she walked in.

"Morning D."

"Humph."

"Rough night?"

"Hmm."

"Girl from the party?"

I raised my head, eyebrows following suit. "What?"

"Oh, that was a hit and run wasn't it?"

"A what?" I asked confused.

"Hit and... oh never mind. Why do you look so tired? Its 8:30 in the morning."

"I couldn't sleep last night."

"Why?"

She takes up a seat on the only other chair in the room and I sighed as I leaned back. "I'm confused about something... about me and someone."

"Family drama or girl drama?"

"My ex..." I trailed off as I waited for her to connect the dots.

"Your ex?" She asks, not putting two and two together.

"Yea... the guy who dumped me?"

"Ohhhh. Yeah. What happened?"

"We kissed." I waited for her response once more to see if I should go on.

"That's a bad thing or..." she trailed off and I sighed.

"I'm not sure. We got to talking a few times. You know, about our feelings and the past and stuff."

"And?" She pressed.

"I don't know. I felt as though we both still had subsurface feelings for each other that we were both willing to work on."

"But."

"He disappeared on me for a few days and when he came back he wasn't alone. He was close with the guy. It was as though they were seeing each other but I'm not sure."

"Do you know if he was seeing anyone before you guys kissed?"

"I heard he was seeing a guy but that it was new. I thought when we kissed and by the way we talked it wasn't an actual thing but now I don't know and I want to know and I can't stop feeling like an idiot."

"Why don't you ask him?"

"Because I'm afraid of what he'll say. I hurt him really bad in the past. Our entire relationship was rocky from the start and even before and the good days were far outweighed by the bad." I say honestly. "I just feel as though I deserve this."