My Tears Ricochet // Alicent Hightower

20. Love is a Downfall

Davina didnt remember the funeral, it was a blur of pain. She remembered the smell still in her lungs from the fire, from the people burned alive.

She vaguely remembered the carriage ride home, laying curled up on the bench, her head on Alicent's lap. Valyria laid out on top of Davina asking the angels to return her daddy. 

She didnt feel like a good mother as she spent her days sobbing and barely eating. Curled up with her babies but no energy to do anything else.

When Harwin died Davina cried and cried and cried. She didn't remember leaving her chambers. She lay in bed curled up, she didnt speak, she barely moved. Her children had never seen a woman so fierce turn so fragile. 

''I wanted Davina to be my hand." Viserys remarked "but she is in no shape to rule." Alicent agreed for once, Davina would be a great Hand of the king but she wasnt ready to get out of bed, let alone rule the seven kingdoms. 

"I wrote to your father. He is coming back." Viserys added. Alicent nodded distantly. ''How is she?''

''She lost the love of her life.'' Alicent whispered. ''I don't know that that is something anyone can recover from.''

''She did it once.'' Viserys reminded her.

''Daemon wasn't the love of her life.'' Alicent corrected. ''He was the devil tricking her into thinking she was in love. She loved Harwin. She loved him soo much. He was the love of her life." 

+

''Push, my Lady.'' Laena screamed and screeched as she tried to deliver Daemon another child but it would not come.

''Push! Push!'' She continued screaming and wailing to no avail. 'Push! You must push! Push!''

''It needs to come now!'' the surgeon told her as she wailed out in pain.

''Push! Push!'' they all begged her ''You must push now, my Lady!'' but she was tired and knew it was no use.

''I've reached the limit of my art. The child will not come.'' The surgeon told Daemon ''I am very sorry, my Prince. We could lay open the womb... try to remove the infant by way of the blade. But I cannot say for a surety whether it lives.''

''Would the mother survive it?'' Daemon questioned calmly, bored really.

''No.''

Laena pulled herself up with a grunt dragging herself outside.

''Vhagar, dracarys. Agh!'' she whimpered out. Vhagar stared down at her.'' Dracarys! Dracarys!'' she begged but he just stared at her. she wanted to die a dragon riders death, by fire. ''Dracarys. Dracarys!'' she wailed as she dragged herself to him.

''Dracarys.'' Vhagar wailed out blasting her away. Daemon watched his fire burn away before him.

''Laena!''

+

"Oh, you're up." ALicent remarked. 

"Haenry said the room was starting to smell and they needed to change the sheets." Davina relayed. Alicent nodded as Davina collapsed into Alicents chambers. 

"I could have them draw you a bath." Alicent offered. Davina nodded as she buried under the blankets. 

"Thanks Ali." Davina whispered through a runny nose. "Will it ever stop hurting?"

"I dont know." Alicent admitted. "I hope so, I hope one day you smile again." 

"It hurts, it hurts so much." Davina whimpered as Alicent wiped at her cheeks. "I dont want to hurt anymore." 

"I know, I'm so sorry. If I could take this pain, if I could take this pain away from you Davina I would." Alicent declared as the door opened slightly. Alicent moved to the door confused until she saw Larys. Davina curled up in a ball on the bed. 

"Lord Larys... what are you doing here?" Alicent questioned. 

"DId you like my gift?" LArys countered. Alicent stared back at him confused, her eyes drifted to a teary eyed Davina curled up on her bed. 

''What are children, but a weakness? A folly? A futility? Through them, you imagine you cheat the great darkness of its victory." Larys remarked. ''You will persist forever, in some form or another. As if they will keep you from the dust.''

''But for them... you surrender what you should not. You may know what is the right thing to be done, but... love stays the hand.'' Larys went on, Alicent quirked a brow confused. ''Love... is a downfall. Best to make your way through life unencumbered... if you ask me.'

''Why are you saying this?" Alicent questioned. 

''You've heard the stories of Harrenhal, Your Grace. It was built in hubris by Harren the Black as a monument to his own greatness. Blood mixed into the mortar. It is said to be a cursed place. That it passes judgment on all who pass beneath its gates.'' Larys remarked softly.

''You... You passed judgment.'' Alicent corrected. Alicent had no idea, she didnt know what Larys was planning she would have stopped him. Now Davina had lost the love of her life.

''The Queen makes a wish. What servant of the realm would not strive to fulfill it? I assume you will write to your father now?'' Larys questioned softly.

''Larys... I did not wish for this.'' Alicent hissed. 

Alicent couldnt help but feel responsible. She didnt ask Larys to kill anyone. But Larys did what he did because he thought it would please her getting rid of Gael but Rhaenyra was already leaving.

"You killed them." Alicent realized and Davinas heart stopped.

''Harwin wasn't supposed to go." Larys offered innocently. "But it is for the best."

"Davina lost her husband her children-" alicent shouted "-lost their father because of you and you don't even care."

"Things will be better now that Im in charge." Larys assured her.

"In charge?" Alicent spat and Davina couldn't breathe.

"Will you call upon your father?" Larys questioned swirling his wine nonchalantly. "Will the king?"

"Ser criston." Alicent demanded and he came in. "I need your blade." Alicent declared. Davina stared back at them too numb and too heartbroken to move. Criston held it out confused but he listened. "I'm in charge." Alicent corrected. "I should have done this years ago."

 Larys rose anxiously but Alicent killed him the blade stabbed through all the way. Criston looked from Larys to Alicent to Davina her knees tucked to her chest as she watched in a daze. Alicent yanked the blade free and larys dropped. Wordlessly she handed criston back his blade wiped her hands on the table cloth and moved to Davina.

''What did he do?" Davinas voice was barely a whisper.

''I'm so sorry Davina." Alicent whispered hugging her.

''What did he do to you?" Davina clarified.

''Information f-for fa-favors." Alicent stammered as criston called a few guards to have larys removed from the queens chambers.

''What sort of favors Ali?" Davina questioned gently. But Alicent shook her head. "what did he do-"

"It doesn't matter any more." Alicent corrected. "Why don't I walk you back to your chambers. Less blood." Alicent remarked gently.

''What did he do?" Davina questioned again locking eyes with her.

''Come on you will feel better in the morning.'' Alicent offered hopefully.