My Tears Ricochet // Alicent Hightower

28. I Would Have Killed Them

Davina needed to stop. Her heart was too broken, her head too crowded with conflict. She couldn't deal with Rhaenyra right now, it was late her babies were tired and in pain. She needed to get Aemond some milk of the poppy and a hug. Daeron was practically falling asleep in the great hall.

But her feet wouldn't move any farther she stayed staring at Daemon, still as smug as ever her whole body tense with hatred. After all Davina did, this was how they treated her? She felt Aemond's hand in hers and she sighed feeling herself relax as she held tight to him.

Davina checked on her kids. Practically sobbed Aemonds shirt wet as she ran a gentle hand over his cheek. He didnt even care. He was still so excited he claimed a dragon. Davina held to him as he fell asleep in her arms. Her little Aemond. Draeya and Haenry stayed with him that night as extra protection and security.

Davina wanted to hate Jace and Luke for hurting Aemond, but she couldnt. 

Davina knew Luke and Jace were not violent. Knew they were sweet and cuddly she knew Daemons devil spawns had put them up to it. Probably dragged them out of bed. Davina wanted to hate Jace and Luke but she had loved them for years as though they were her own. They were her nephews. They were of Strong blood and she hated herself for declaring it but she wasnt thinking clearly. She never should have come. SHe should have stayed at home now she felt awful and useless and a monster herself. 

''Gods. Is everyone all right?'' Laenor said entering the room, he had been in the waters since his sisters send off, he missed all the fun.

''A broken nose is the worst." Maester Kelvyn remarked.

'' Thank you, maester. Leave us.'' Rhaenyra requested ''You as well. You've already found enough trouble today.'' Rhaenyra told her boys

''Yes, Mother." Luke agreed as him and jace left only to find Davina in the hallway.

"Ja-"

"Do you hate me?" Jace questioned staring back at her. 

"No. I could never hate you or your bother." Davina corrected. "I just... Jace I'm sorry." 

"It's true though isnt it?" Jace countered. 

"You are my family. I'm sorry I... I shouldnt have said what I did. I didnt mean to hurt you. I know I did. I'm sorry." Davina rasped. Jace nodded stiffly. "But I'm not the only one that needs to apologize and you know it." Davina turned to look at Luke. "I'm sorry. I am truly sorry and wish I said those words to your mother and perhaps a handful of people... but not like I did... You boys are my family even if I dont like Rhaenyra very much anymore... at all." Davina remarked honestly. "But you attacked Aemond." 

"He-"

"Slung words around and you stabbed him." Davina finished for Luke. "You boys certainly have strong tempers. I think you get that from your Targaryen side though." She offered gently. "He lost an eye."

"He would have killed us." Jace corrected. 

"No." Davina's voice drifted down the hall. "Aemond is a good boy, what he did was claim a dragon. A free dragon. You and those girls came at him."

"He attacked us!" 

"He lost an eye." Davina reminded them. "Your broken bones will heal, he cannot regrow an eye." Luke sighed looking to Jace. "Why did you bring a blade?" 

"I was nervous." Luke admitted. 

"Why? Why get out of bed at all?" Davina questioned. 

"Baela and Rhaena got us up, they... they said someone stole their dragon." Jace admitted. 

"And you didnt think it would be wiser to get an adult?" Davina countered. 

"Thats why I brought the blade. For protection." Luke whispered. 

"The girls got mad, they were shouting and they attacked him first." Jace declared. 

"And if they were doing it then it must be okay for you to attack Aemond as well?" Davina pondered staring back at them. Jace silenced as he looked to his feet. "What has Aemond ever done to you? Either of you!" Davina demanded. "He is a smart boy, skilled boy and you two... you two..." Davina huffed out a breath she felt nauseous again. "You just met Baela and Rhaena. You have known Aemond all your lives and yet you chose these girls you never met?"

"You werent there." Jace grumbled. 

"You are right. I wasnt there." Davina agreed. "I lost my husband. I lost him. He is gone forever just like Aemonds eye. I came running though when my girls got me. WHere was your mother when you needed her?" Davina questioned. 

"I dont know." Luke murmured. 

"Fucking her uncle Daemon." Davina informed them. "Thats where she was. Not with her husband, not taking a damn walk. But breaking her vows again after your father, your true father died in a fire she has already moved on. As though he didnt matter at all. As though the other half of you didnt matter." 

"When Ser Gael left..." Jace recalled. 

"What?" Davina rasped. 

"I asked if he was my father." Jace admitted. "She said we are Targaryen, thats all that matters." 

"I wonder how long it takes her to forget about you too?" Davinas teeth chattered as she took in a breath. "Barely a moon and she is already onto the next. Not her husband, not the name you boys hold... but someone that is going to break her heart. But I dont care about her heart anymore." Davina admitted. "I care about you two. I still love you two. You are my family, my blood..." Davina let out a long slow breath as she turned down the hall. "Dont be like your mother. Apologize and mean it." 

"She's right you know." Luke whispered after a long moment. "I need to say sorry to Aemond. I never meant to hurt him like that." 

"Do you think he will forgive us?" Jace countered. 

"We have to try." Luke whimpered. 

Draeya stood at attention when the door opened. She reached pulling her blade from the table when she saw Luke and Jace. Luke faltered back raising his hands in surrender. 

"I will gladly collect your eye." Draeya hissed. 

"No. No... please dont." LUke whimpered. "We came to apologize to Aemond." Draeya glanced back at Aemond and he nodded once sitting up in bed. 

"No funny business and keep your hands where I can see them." Draeya instructed, Jace looked to her stead hand on her blade. 

"Aemond... I'm really sorry." Luke said nervously, he didnt like Draeya pointing a blade at them but he deserved it. 

"Me too. We never should have... you said some things and we reacted badly." Jace agreed. 

"I never meant to take your eye Aemond, I'm so sorry." Luke declared. 

"We are really sorry." Jace echoed. Draeya looked to Aemond for any sign that she should kill them for him. He didnt even blink. 

"Goodnight nephews." Aemond answered in monotone as he lay back down. They walked cautiously to the door. "And thank you." Aemond added. "For saying that. It took courage." Draeya watched the door close before laying down in between Aemond and Haenry. 

"You have a kinder heart than I." Draeya remarked as she tucked her blade away. "I would have killed them."