My Tears Ricochet // Alicent Hightower

29. Exhausting

''I should've been there.'' Laenor remarked softly.

''Those should be our house words.'' Rhaenyra teased

''I have fought dreadful enemies, but I could not defend my dear sister far from home and in agony. I could not defend you.''

''Sit down. Aemond called our sons bastards.'' Rhaenyra informed him and Laenor sighed as he sat. "Davina as well... all but screamed it out." Laenor couldnt believe Davina would hurt the boys not on purpose, maybe to hurt Rhaenyra but no the boys, Davina loved them like they were her own.

''I have failed you, Rhaenyra. Our marriage... I tried. Our boys... I do love them.'' Laenor told her, knowing the truth behind the words.

''I know.'' Rhaenyra assured.

''Deeply. But I have not, mayhaps... loved them enough.''

''I had hoped to bear your children. The few times we lay together. Things might've been different.'' Rhaenyra admitted but in truth she wanted no other man than Daemon. SHe wanted to bare no one elses child but Daemon's. TO feel that love again.

''I hate the gods for making me as they did.'' Laenor said stiffly.

''I do not. You are an honorable man with a good heart.'' Rhaenyra corrected and Laenor chuckled looking over at her.

''It's a rare thing. We made an arrangement all those years ago to do our duty and... yet explore happiness.'' Laenor reminded her. ''But there are times I think when these things cannot mutually exist. Ser Qarl will return soon to the fighting in the Step stones. But I recommit myself to you. And to strengthening our house as we prepare you for your ascension. I will raise our sons to be princes of the realm.'' Laenor assured her.

''Laenor...''

''You deserve better than what I have been. You deserve a husband.'' Laenor told her honestly.

+

"Davina!" Daemon shouted down the hall when he saw her "What's wrong lovely?"

Davina didnt have any words, she didnt have the strength to fight him. Her lip quivered as he stared back at her smugly.

Its an overwhelming pain and a numbness. Loving takes energy. She didn't have the energy to fight daemon to be mad she didn't have the strength.

"Go away." Davina begged but he trapped her between the wall and his body. "Are you happy? You won. I'm broken again but this time I dont want you trying to fix me." Davina declared.

"I just want you." Daemon corrected kissing her and Rhaenyra's eyes went wide as she watched. Alicent felt her heart ached for a few reasons. Davina was her friend and she knew the pain Daemon caused and she didnt want Davina to get hurt by Daemon again. Alicent also wanted Davina. She wanted to be the one to kiss her. Not this slimy man that like to squirm his way back in, not when Davina was so vulnerable.

"I'm done being nice. You opened pandora's box when you fucked her, you fucked Rhaenyra." Davina wiped that snide smile off his face as she shoved him back. "I dont want you anymore."

"You are broken without me. Face it Dav you need me." Daemon declared.

"I dont." Davina corrected giving him another shove and it took all her energy to do it.

''Davina stop it!" Rhaenyra demanded marching down the hall, she could win daemon back. "You've gone too far.'' Rhaenyra warned. Davina stared back at her perplexed.

"You want to talk about going too far?" Davina countered. "The man you suddenly love wants me still. You are nothing to him but a future crown!" Davina shouted. "Nothing. You are nothing to him. I stayed for you. I protected you-"

"YOu didnt seem to be protecting me tonight." Rhaenyra hissed.

"You were fucking Daemon you werent protecting your boys." Davina added. "Its always all about you." Davina shouted. "You are never satisfied. You are the heir. But oh no, Alicent had a son and that wont do. You must hate her because she was chosen to be queen. By they she didnt want Viserys she was a child and yet you hated her for it all the same. You dont want the competition of her having a son. You wont marry though. You fuck Criston. You are forced to marry. I hid all your little secrets. but that Rhaenyra, my trust is for people I like, People I trust. Good people deserve their secrets to be hidden. Bad idiotic people get their dirt dragged up... because why the hell should you be happy if I dont? When its your fault they are gone."

"Mine? YOu cant blame me for that." Rhaenyra hissed.

"I can though. Larys let the prisoners go but you... bitch you abandoned your family. Gave up. You could have said no but you didnt care because you didnt love Gael. Laena dying though that was a lucky break for you wasnt it?" Davina pondered. "Now you get the man you truly desire. Tell me did you love him all this time? Or was there a time when I was crying on the bathroom floor and you telling me something along the lines of he's not worth it. Did you actually believe what you were saying to me or was it all a ruse this whole time?"

"And what of Alicent? Your new pet project." Rhaenyra hissed her gaze snapping around. "You manipulated her as you tried to do me."

"Unbelievable." Davina scoffed. "Daemon has a way of bewitching people."

''I? What have I done but what was expected of me? Forever upholding the kingdom, the family, the law. While you flout all to do as you please.'' Alicent spat. "Davina is right."

''Of course you would say that." Rhaenyra sneered. "You were always trying to steal what was mine. You have no honor. You stole my father, my aunt-"

"You lost me." Davina corrected.

"And she sacrificed nothing to get on top!" Rhaenyra shouted.

''Where is duty? Where is sacrifice?'' Alicent questioned her anger pushing Rhaenyra back. Davina watched her curiously.

''It's trampled under your pretty foot again.'' Rhaenyra declared.

"You have yet to ask about Aemond. I'm not surprised." Davina murmured.

''Yes." ALicent agreed. "And now you take my son's eye, and to even that, you feel entitled.'' Alicent cried out. "You dont care for anyone or anything but yourself."

''Exhausting, wasn't it? Hiding beneath the cloak of your own righteousness.'' Rhaenyra countered smugly. ''But now they see you as you are.'' Rhaenyra remarked.

"And I see you as you are." Davina agreed. "If you come back to the capital, either of you." Davina added glancing to Daemon. "Fury will greet you personally. Bitchy conceded chew toys are his favorite, he loves to rip them limb from fucking limb."

Davina held out a hand for Alicent and she followed leaning into her.

"That was exhausting. I need to sleep for the next moon." Davina whispered leaning her head into Alicent's.

"I will join you." Alicent agreed. "Gods I... I..."

"There's no shame in emotion" Davina assured as they got back to the chambers. "Sometimes it good to let it all out."

"Would you have gone back to him?" ALicent whispered.

Go back to Daemon? No way, she would never do that. Never. She was way past being broken by him but it didn't mean she wasnt human

So did she get feelings seeing Daemon's smug face after behind with Rhaenyra?

Did her heart start beating a little faster?

Did it take her back?

Did it leave Davina a little bit sad? Mad and wanting to rip heads off.

Well, yeah, because Davina was not a psychopath.

"No." Davina assured. "It hurts. I wish I could make it stop."

''You don't have to numb the pain." Alicent assured. 'The world might call you crazy if you see your ex and lose it. But I call it being human."

"I'm glad I have you Alicent."

"Always."