the life of ariel winters - jim chapman

Chapter 21: trying & thinking

A/N

Hey guys, hitting you with another update. But I just want to take a moment and say thank you so much to whoever reads this book! It has like 740 something reads which is amazing!!! This is my second book that I have written, the first one deleted because I was a horrible writer. I only got to like chapter 15. But this is at Chapter 21 which is amazing! Your votes and comments have been pushing me to write more chapters so thank you to everyone that does that also. Thank you so very much.

Enjoy xx
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Ariel's POV

It was hard to lie to him like that. I'm not a pathological liar, or even a good white liar. I've always been bad at it, them always knowing when I am lying. I don't think he believed me back there, either. Alfie always knows when something is wrong. He will always call me out on it, or help me. He just knows when something has happened that put a damper on my mood. But how could he have not seen what was happening? How could he not see that I haven't ate since last night, which it is almost seven o' clock right now?

I'm not saying that I need help. Chad has been great so far. But I just feel like we are going back to where we once was. The era of my destruction. The period of time where I was not even a human being anymore. I was just a pile of bones able to walk. My fans have been tweeting me, asking where my vlog that I promised them is. It's all edited, I did that yesterday, but I just don't have the energy to upload it. I don't want to do anything but lay in bed.

Chad left to go to some party, so I went back to my hotel room to go lay down. I thought about eating, but I quickly pushed that thought to the back of my mind. Just the thought of eating repulsed me. Chad would hate me, not even wanting to touch me if I had a little bit of fat on my bones. I'm currently laying down in bed, listening to Get Out Alive by Three Days Grace. It's kind of ironic, isn't it? Just the word ironic makes me think of Dan and Phil.

~Flashback~

"Hey, you can stay the night here if you want. We have a spare bed. We can even have a Marvel Movie Marathon. Alliteration not intended." Phil chuckled as he passed me a warm cup of tea he just made.

Chad and I had just broken up, probably one of the worst feelings ever, and I had nowhere to go. I stormed out of that house, leaving everything I owned behind. I couldn't go to Jim, Alfie, Marcus, Joe, and Caspar's house because they all hated my guts, along with Zoella. They all hated me because I was being a dick to all of them. I let Chad brainwash me into forgetting everything that was important in my life. My dad, my friends, my subscribers. Everything.

But for some amazing reason, Dan and Phil didn't hate me. They were the only people that I could think of who would actually let me in their presence. They let me borrow some pjs, made me tea, and offered me to stay with them. It was great. They are literally angels sent from heaven, no joke. If you ever send them hate, I will personally kick your ass because they are the sweetest and nicest people you will ever meet. And I'm so thankful to have them in my life. Mostly because of how much we both love Marvel.

"That would honestly be great, Phil. Thank you both so much." I smiled at them, just wanting to show my gratitude. Dan smiled and cuddled into his part of the couch, getting comfy for the start of the movie. Of course, Phil picked The Avengers, the best Marvel movie ever!

I felt content there, sitting in those comfy pjs, watching one of my favorite movies with two people that I love very much in a friendly way. But I was still sad, I didn't have my bestfriend in the whole wide world there with me, or any of my other bestfriends. Jim Chapman was not there, comforting me, telling me everything will be okay.

Right then, I knew I had to fix everything with him. All of them. I had to gain back their trust and beg for their forgiveness. And that's exactly what I did.

~•~•~

A few days later, I met up with Jim and did everything in my power to apologize to him. He deserved it. I knew that I had hurt him the most. Even if he didn't want to be friends, I had to have his forgiveness.

It was amazing how understanding he was, but he's always been like that. He said that he was sorry, too. He was crazy for saying that though. He had nothing to be sorry about.

The next few weeks was a little tougher though. Not everyone is as understanding as Jim is. But I pulled through, eventually having everyone back. Jim asked me to move in with him and the boys. I said yes, just wanting a fresh start.

And the rest is history.

~End of Flashback~

I'm just trying to make everyone happy. I'm trying to make myself happy, Chad happy, Jim happy, Alfie happy, Dan happy, Louise happy, and etc. But it's so hard. Everyone else doesn't want me to be happy. They don't want me with Chad so they don't want me to be happy. How selfish of them is that? Can't they just try to be at least a little happy for me? Or even pretend.

New Text Message:

Dannyboy: are you feeling alright, love? i heard you weren't feeling well so I just wanted to check in. Phil sends his love. he would text you but he lost his phone. 💝 xx

See, a literal angel. And Phil is a ray of sunshine. They are honestly made for eachother. And it was really sweet of them to check in. Even though I'm not really sick at all and was just lying. I will feel horrible if I lie to them but I can't blow my cover. That sounds like I'm a spy.

Text Message Sent:

Me: thank you for checking in! that is literally so sweet of you and phil. but yes, I'm fine. my stomach is feeling a little better. xx

Let's hope that this sinking feeling in my gut will go away soon, though.

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A/N

Oh man, was this fun to write. I really hope you enjoyed the chapter because I really enjoyed writing it. yeah, only three days since the last update. That's like a record or something. picture above is of Chad.

Again, thank you to whoever reads this book, it means a lot. :)

Please vote & comment.

My Favorite Quote:

"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end." - John Lennon