Supanova

A dry sensation

"It was so hard to be vulnerable to admit your deepest and darkest pains, most people didn't."

Nova
"I'm sorry what?" I ask the man in disbelief.

"You do know Amir is dead, it's been all over the news." He says confused.

"I guess I haven't been watching it lately." I say lowly.

"Nova who is-" she stops in her tracks when she sees who it was.

"Hello ma'am I'm sheriff Douglas I just had a few questions about the deceased Amir Williams can I come in?"

"Of course, come on in." She smiles throwing a worried look towards me.

"O'Neil." She yells, calling my dad to the kitchen.

He walks in looking around in confusion.

"How can I help you sheriff?"

I just have a few questions for your daughter."

"What happened Is she in trouble?"

"No sir we just need more information on the death of Amir."

"Amir is dead?" My dad asks in disbelief.

"Yes sir," he nods "if you give me a chance, I can explain everything,"

"Of course, come have a seat." My dad motions for everyone to follow him to the table and we all go to take a seat.

The sheriff explains to us the details of the situation and how everything leads to me. I didn't even know that Jordan would remember me let alone tell the sheriff that Amir hurt me, he was telling all my business. I knew my ear was itching for a reason.

A part of me felt sad for his death and the people it hurt but another part felt at ease. I hated the fact that I felt relieved I didn't have to worry about him hurting me. I felt guilty almost if I had something to do with it when I didn't. But feeling this way made me just as guilty.

"When was the last time you communicated with Amir?"

"I don't remember exactly it's probably been over two years you see I went away to a boarding school not long after the umm..." I stop myself not sure if I should tell him what happened.

"After what?" He asks worriedly.

"After he kidnapped me." I say almost in a whisper a look of shock crossed his face but soon goes away.

He was the eighth person for me to admit my trauma to, every time I admitted it my stomach twisted in knots and my throat went dry making my mind to think of water I and once I got it, I would overindulge and cause myself to choke drowning my lungs in the water.

Admitting was a step into healing but my body seemed to disagree maybe because it was hard it was so hard to be vulnerable to admit your deepest and darkest pains, most people didn't.

He starts writing down on his note pad then looks back up at me with sympathetic eyes the kind of look that made me feel like my pain was seen, it was heard, it was understood.

But the expression left just as quickly as it came going back to his usual cool and neutral demeanor.

"We're there any reports of this?"

"No, I was too afraid."

"Do you mind giving me the details of the night?"

I nod, clearing my throat, trying my best to get the dry sensation to go away.