Axel

40

I S A B E L L A

The rage i felt as i sat in that hot, tiny car was almost suffocating. I was so so angry for so many reasons i felt like a ticking bomb waiting to go off.

I was angry at him, for going missing, for worrying everyone around him, for taking those stupid drugs, for taking away my ability to think of anything else but him.

And if i find him at that address, i was afraid i was going to flip. It even made me burn with fury thinking about what i was going to do if i had found him there after two weeks of hot tears and worry without any contact.

Whilst i knew he was battling addiction and fighting his own demons whilst trying to stay alive i couldn't help but feel so angry.

He had given up his whole life for those little white pills, he had chosen them over me and here i was still begging him too stay.

And he didn't care, he didn't care about his best friend, he didn't care about me or his life, he only cared about getting his hands on illegal substances.

It hurt, and it made me doubt everything we ever had. Did he feel what i felt?

When he touched me, did it burn him the way it burnt me?

When he looked at me, did he get lost in my eyes the way that i got lost in his?

When he kissed me, did he feel the burning passion and need that i had felt for him?

God, i was so tangled into his webs. So so so tangled.

I wondered if he thought about me at all in the past two weeks, because all i seemed to think about was him.

He was addicted to powder and liquids, and i was addicted to him.

It hit me that this was probably stupid, driving to a place i have never been too, alone and not even knowing what i'm going into.

But it was the heat of the moment, and i was a stupid girl. A furious stupid girl.

I chewed my bottom lip, until it bled and i could taste metallic on my tongue. We drove into a part of the city I've never been to before, nor even knew existed.

The houses were big, most were worn down and poorly taken care off. Kids played on the streets with bare feet, i lost count how many kids we almost ran over after the 4th one.

The front garden of most houses were filled with junk and a little metal fence that wrapped around the whole perimeter of the house. Overall, it was the poor part of the city.

We took a sharp turn, and as the car drove further along the road i could see a crowd of people piling around a house. The closer we approached, the more i began to realise it was a party.

The car slowly came to a stop, parking in front of the house. I gaped at it, it was two stories tall with small windows and built with bricks. I gaped at the people, and not one person seemed sober.

Most of them were big scary men with half naked women under their arms. I swallowed, thanked the driver and stepped out the car.

The music was muffled from inside the house but could still be heard from a mile away. With each passing step i prepared myself for the worst.