Axel

38

I S A B E L L A

Fear is shackles, fear is a knife in the gut slowly twisted, fear is a constant hammer on the head. Fear is nothing but a sick feeling in your stomach and a voice in your head.

For the past 24 hours, since i got that phone call and found him laying on a bathroom floor at the place i worked, whilst i watched his best friend bring him back to like. All i felt was fear.

Even when i rested in his arms, i felt fear. Even when i knew he was okay, i had a constant hammer on my head.

Even when i had fallen asleep, i relived it all but this time he didn't survive, this time i watched him lay infront of me, lifeless as i sobbed.

Maybe it was the nightmare that woke me up, or the smash of something that startled me in my sleep. But either way, i peeled my eyes and tried to adjust my eyes to the bright light in the room.

I looked out Axel's window that i was facing, but all i saw was pitch black. Another smash had forced me to push myself up from the bed and take in my surroundings.

Axel's room was completely destroyed, his clothes were scattered across the floor, his drawers laying in random places of the room, a table flipped over and Axel's phone smashed on the floor beneath my feet.

And yet again i felt the fear. I watched a notification light up Axel's phone and read the time as best as i could through the shattered screen.

10:03pm

I can hear him, rummaging through stuff in his bathroom, i can hear his heavy breathing from here and i think of going to him yet my feet stay glued to the floor.

This is it. The moment is over. He knows.

The rummaging comes to a stop and i hear heavy footsteps make their way towards the bedroom. I stare at the door waiting for him to come out and i feel fear.

It's everywhere. It's all over me.

He walks out faster than i had expected, he's no longer carrying himself with purpose and authority but instead with panic. His hands shaking at his sides, his hair messy like he has ran his hands through them countless times. His chest rises up and down frantically as he tries to control his breath before he finally comes to a stop when he feels my presence wide awake and standing 6 feet away from him.

Deep blue eyes crash with mine but i'm to afraid to hold the eye contact, instead i scan the rest of his face. Dark circles rested under his eyes followed with pale skin. I even noticed his face seemed slimmer.

"What's going on?" I croaked out and swallowed in attempt to get rid of the dry feeling in my throat.

He scanned my full figure as i stared at him. I could tell that he could see right through me, it made me feel stupid asking him that question.

Then he looked at my face, and when he looked at me like i had completely and utterly ruined us, like i betrayed his trust, like i meant nothing to him my emotions turn jagged and my insides tight.

"Where are they?" He sounds different again, cold and shut out just like the day i met him. I breath out and stare at him.

"I don't know what you're ta-" He cuts me off with a scoff. I shut my eyes, block them away from his cold gaze.