Axel

42

A X E L

Sobriety is killing me faster than addiction ever was.

And it's only been 12 hours 45 minutes and 30 seconds since i committed to quitting and I'm already having regrets.

Though they aren't enough to make me go back, because she laid before me in all her glory, glowing, beautiful and all mine.

I'll admit i had thoughts of running away again and this time never coming back when i broke down in front of her, or when i told her i quit. But i locked those thoughts away and swallowed the key when i tried to imagine a life without her.

I'll give up everything before i lose my blonde.

My hand shakes at my side, my eyes blinking more than usual before i shut them and clench my hand. My lips trembling as i suck in for what feels like- control, strength, anything. But all i get is a senseless and cold feeling of sharp air.

It's bad. It's so bad that if i spend more than 2o minutes away from her i'm experiencing extreme withdrawals. It's like she take it all away, all the pain, all the stress, all the urges.

I glance at the dip in the bed at my side that she has left, the morning sunshine gleaming at her side of the bed, smiling at me like everything is okay.

I'm up and out of bed when my throat begins to close up, shutting out my supply of air. My head spiralling uncontrollably as i stumble across the room.

Fuck. I can't go twenty minutes with her. It was rather embarrassing, leaning on another person to stay sober.

The anxiety attack speeds up each second, and i'm ripping of my shirt and kicking of my sweat pants as i make it to the bathroom door.

The boxers come next, and i creak the door open to the sound of water that falls hard and heavy out of the shower head.

Her energy fills the room before she does. She is beautifully unforgettable.

Her back facing me, she runs a hand down her hair, the shampoo soaking away and running down her back and over her curvy ass before it hits the floor and disappears into the drains.

The foggy glass that separates us only leaves so much to the eye when she turns to the side and lets the water run down her face. My eyes fall to her curves, the long tan legs, her breasts, the line down her back when she lifts her arms to continue washing her hair that falls to her ass.

Two steps forward and i'm at the shower door, sliding it open and stepping in. Her head snaps towards me, her doe eyes making an appearance when she looks up at me with a startled look.

She keeps her eyes trained on my face, refusing to look anywhere else when i shut the shower door and let the warm water run down my back and soak my hair.

She steps closer, allowing my hands to land on her naked hips. Her hand reaches for my jaw, tilting my head to look down at her, her thumb coming over over to run over my bottom lip.

A drop of water fall off her wet lashes, lands on her chest and disappears in her cleavage.

"Everything okay?" She asks. I'm forced to swallow when Bella sends a pensive smile, eyes now everywhere but on me. Then i move closer with eyes that look so deeply into hers.