Axel

13

  I S A B E L L A

I tried my hardest not to feel insecure. In a tight sports bra and leggings i felt more exposed than usual.

I knew i shouldn't put myself down, i knew it was just my mind being weird. I knew the gym i was going to with Lucy was probably going to have other girls dressed like me. But my brain decided to overthink today.

I stared at my face in my bathroom mirror, my hands gripping the sink as i examined all of my features and flaws. From my perfectly slicked back hair that was tied up into a ponytail to my round lips that were resting in a straight line, matching the way i felt inside. I tilted my head up, getting a clear view of my neck, were purple marks that were practically gone sat. And my burnt neck that was almost healed apart from a little blister and a pink mark.

I looked at my eyelashes that i wished were longer, i looked at my nose that i wish was a little smaller, i looked at my cheeks that i wished weren't so chubby. I looked at my frame and wished i wasn't so tall.

And then i closed my eyes.

I inhaled air through my nose and breathed out through my mouth, repeating it a few times until my grip on the sink wasn't so tight.

Then i told myself i was pretty, before i opened my eyes and looked at myself once more.

But this time i told myself what i liked.

I liked my forest green eyes, and the freckles sprinkled on my nose, i liked this hairstyle.

And then i took a step back, my hands releasing the grip on the sink as i did and lazily let them fall to my sides. I looked at the outfit i wore, black sports leggings and a blue sports bra. I liked the outfit, i just wasn't sure if i liked it on me.

But i was only learning self love, and one thing i've learnt so far is that its okay to have those days you just need to remind yourself that you're beautiful.

So i forced myself to smile and like the outfit. I picked up the blue cropped zip up jumper that was thrown over a chair and put it on, leaving it unzipped.

I loved blue, it was my favourite color. It was known as a sad color, a masculine color, a color that was supposed to be darker than the others. But to me it was the prettiest, there was more behind the color than 'sad'. It was a color that complemented many things and people, it was a color i felt most attached to. It was a color that drew me in. It was not the color that's just 'sad' it had so much life in it. For me blue is a cheery colour, one of honesty and life - for it is the colour of our oceans and skies.

A ping sound vibrated from my phone, a light flashing from it as a notification popped up on the screen. I slightly bent over, reading the message from Lucy that had read she was here.

I dashed out the room, kicking on my shoes and tying them in loose knots before locking my apartment door and running down the stairs as a bag was on my shoulders and my hands held a small and fragile device.

I stepped outside, the sun hit me in the eyes and with an instinct I brought a hand up to block the rays of sun. There was no wind, making the unbearably hot weather feel even hotter. I was now beginning to regret wearing leggings.

I spotted the Lilac Convertible that belonged to Lucy straight away. She had the roof down and was waving me over. Her black wavy hair was down draping over her exposed shoulders, she had a black pair of sunglasses on and even from here i could tell she was wearing the same gym set as me but in the color Purple.

She smiled, showing me her white teeth. I couldn't help but smile back at my best friend, who looked so excited to see me.

"Hey, Love!" Lucy shouted over the music blasting from her car. I opened the passenger door, throwing my bag into the back seat before climbing into the car.