Mysterion:I am Mysterion. Though only nine years old, I dedicate my life to helping people - when I'm not in school. [the book opens to a random page. On that page he is defeating Professor Chaos] For months now I've been protecting my town from crime. But now, something has happened that even I cannot fight alone. [a picture of the oil rig, updating every few seconds to show the spread of the oil slick] The BP Oil Company has drilled and caused a spill in the Gulf like no other. The President of BP apologized.
Tony Hayward:[on the rig] We're sorry.
Mysterion:But they drilled again, and tore open a portal into another dimension.
Tony Hayward:[in the field, reclining for the camera] We're sorry. [some pages flip over and various creatures are shown]
Mysterion:Creatures from that dimension are now wreaking havoc in the Gulf. BP tried to solve the problem by drilling on the moon, but instead they caused the dark lord Cthulhu to emerge.
Tony Hayward:[on the bear rug by the fireplace, naked, on his belly] Sorry. [next page has the Coon and Friends as they burst forth from headquarters. Mosquito and Human Kite are shown flying.]
Mysterion:I have joined forces with other superheroes in my neighborhood to help save the Gulf. But even the other heroes do not know that unlike them, I do have a power. A power they will now begin to understand. And all will know who and what I truly am! [a swarm of ?'s flies around the screen, and the name of the episode appears]
Food for Little, day. The little superheroes are at two tables selling lemon bars. Five for $3
Woman 1:Just terrific what you boys are doing.
Mysterion:Thank you, ma'am.
Man 1:[holding some bars] I'll take twenty lemon bars, you little rascals.
Field Reporter:A terrific human interest story here, Tom. As America wonders what happened to Captain Hindsight, some Colorado kids are being a little "superhuman" themselves. They call themselves "Coon and Friends," and they've been baking and selling lemon bars to help aid those affected in the Gulf crisis.
Mysterion:We believe that every little bit helps.
Field Reporter:Their little "super club" consists of seven young heroes. [the kids each strike a pose as they announce themselves]
Toolshed:Toolshed!
Human Kite:The Human Kite!
Mysterion:Mysterion!
TupperWear:TupperWear!
Mosquito:Mosquito!
Iron Maiden:Timmah!
Mint-Berry Crunch:Mint Berry Crrrunch! [twirls around]
H/N:H/N!
Field Reporter:The kids stated that there used to also be a hero named The Coon actually in the group, but they let him go because he was being quote, [reads from his cue card] "a dick".
H/N:Mysterion, if Cartman's gone, why are we still calling ourselves Coon and Friends?
Mysterion:Because it pisses Cartman off beyond belief, and I find that [chuckles] extremely funny.
Food for Little, day. The little superheroes are at two tables selling lemon bars, but there are a few bars left.
Mosquito:That's almost it, superheroes. We're about out of lemon bars.
Toolshed:Well then, perhaps we should return to our secret base and bake some more!
Iron Maiden:Timmah! [a man with a creepy fixed grin approaches them]
YOU ARE READING
Crazy South Park love Craig Tucker x reader(Cartman sister)
RandomYou are Y/N Y/M/N Cartman and you are 16 years old. You and Carman are twins but your mom couldn't take care of you and you had to like with the rest of your family. A few years later you have the option to live with your mom and you pack your stuf...
